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Original poster

Child never picked

29 replies

Idontknowwhy1 · 17/05/2023 15:42

My child's communion is in a couple of weeks & loads of children have been given roles in the mass... My dc had her reconciliation in Feb, the teacher said whoever doesn't get a role will have something in the communion mass.. My dc has been given nothing in this either & is so disappointed. Especially as the teacher said that those who didn't get a part in the reconciliation would have a part in the communion mass.. I feel so disappointed on my childs behalf, please talk sense into me. I don't want to be that parent!

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 17/05/2023 15:44

I would ask the teacher. She has probably just forgotten.

Original poster
Idontknowwhy1 · 17/05/2023 15:46

According to my dc there has been a few children who have had a part in neither but some roles were created today & seemed to go to the dc from the PTA... My child never gets a role..

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 17/05/2023 15:46

Have a word with the teacher. It is almost certainly a mistake.

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Mangotime · 17/05/2023 15:47

Why don’t you speak up for her?

Original poster
Idontknowwhy1 · 17/05/2023 15:48

What do I do or say? I don't want to be that parent..

OP posts:
lunar1 · 17/05/2023 15:52

Be that parent, advocate for your daughter if she's having trouble speaking up.

RequiresUpdating · 17/05/2023 15:52

I think there's been a misunderstanding. DD was under the impression DC not in first would be given a role in second. DD has a role in neither, and is upset. What did you tell the class.

Could you please talk to her about it.

Dacadactyl · 17/05/2023 15:54

Idontknowwhy1 · 17/05/2023 15:48

What do I do or say? I don't want to be that parent..

All this "that parent" nonsense. You just go and say "Sophie was hoping for a role in the Mass because she was under the impression that those who didnt get one in their first Confession would be getting one in the Mass. Has she misunderstood things?"

Then the teacher will tell you whether theres been a misunderstanding or not. Your child may have got the wrong end of the stick. If she has, then shes not being treated unfairly.

Mangotime · 17/05/2023 18:03

Just say hi can I have a chat, I know you’re busy. Lucy didn’t have a role in the recon and hasn’t got none again in the mass…. She’s quite upset, is there something you can find for her to do?

Original poster
Idontknowwhy1 · 17/05/2023 19:15

@Mangotime email sent.. I'll update after. Hate being that parent but dd won't advocate for herself..

OP posts:
LG93 · 17/05/2023 19:41

FWIW I don't think politely advocating/asking questions on behalf of your child makes you 'that parent, that stereotype to me is more for parents who escalate to head before speaking to teacher for example, or go in all guns blazing based on little Timmy's version of events without even getting the full facts first, it doesn't mean you're not allowed to speak to them!

Garethkeenansstapler · 17/05/2023 19:43

Good, mass isn’t competitive it’s supposed to be inclusive, that’s the whole point. (Good you emailed I mean)

Original poster
Idontknowwhy1 · 17/05/2023 20:15

I don't know what the outcome will be, I assume the teacher will say all roles have been filled.. Talking to dc again tonight & getting more information. The teacher said if a child has a part in the reconciliation service they won't get a part in the communion mass but dc has named 4 children who read prayers at the reconciliation who also gave parts in the communion mass. Just to clarify three classes are together so 60 kids together for both the reconciliation & communion.
I know it's impossible to find 60 roles over the two services but some kids won't want parts, others won't care & some like dc will really want to be involved.
If the teacher replies tough there is no additional roles am my within my rights to ask exactly why my dc was overlooked ( yet again!)

OP posts:
BreathesOutSlowly · 17/05/2023 20:43

Being 'that parent' is your job as a parent. No one else will advocate for your DC so you should.

Mummyof287 · 17/05/2023 20:46

lunar1 · 17/05/2023 15:52

Be that parent, advocate for your daughter if she's having trouble speaking up.

This....sick of seeing people labelled/labelling 'that parent' on here...what's wrong with fighting your child's corner and standing up for what is morally right fgs! Who cares if it doesn't make you 'popular' or 'the favourite' we aren't all in high-school anymore.....

Original poster
Idontknowwhy1 · 17/05/2023 20:57

Thanks @Mummyof287 & @BreathesOutSlowly I've been second guessing myself since I sent the email. Obviously I said nothing to my dc.

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Original poster
Idontknowwhy1 · 17/05/2023 22:00

Shamelessly bumping ☺️

OP posts:
xabia · 17/05/2023 22:01

Well done OP

Original poster
Idontknowwhy1 · 17/05/2023 22:03

@xabia I wonder will I even get a reply!

OP posts:
jenny38 · 17/05/2023 22:54

I'm sure you will get a reply from school, hopefully a positive one!

Original poster
Idontknowwhy1 · 18/05/2023 00:52

@jenny38 hopefully! Dh & I were talking tonight with our dc. It seems there are a number of singing rolls as in a little choir in the church gallery. Dc was the only child out of the 60 communion kids who did afterschool singing club. Dc loves it & it transpires the teacher who runs the club helped choose the kids with the class teacher.
Only 11 kids in the school attend, it's not a popular one. Dd has attended at least 25 classes & was upset to be overlooked especially as the only child who attends this class. She loves the afterschool club & has made great progress. She has a lovely voice... I necer mentioned this on the original email!

OP posts:
Original poster
Idontknowwhy1 · 18/05/2023 01:08

Should I send a continuation email re the afterschool singing club in the morning or wait until the teacher replies (if she replies!)

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 18/05/2023 06:10

I'd wait for the teacher to reply first and then if she says all roles have been allocated, you could say "is there any chance DD can go in the choir, given that she has been to the after school club? She really is keen to participate in the service"

As an aside, I wonder whether the roles might have been picked on the basis of Church attendance? If you were asked to attend preparation classes/go to Mass in preparation etc and haven't done so, they may have just picked kids who did. In which case, you might be on for a hiding to nothing.

Original poster
Idontknowwhy1 · 18/05/2023 07:13

We were at all the prep masses & the opening meeting.

OP posts:
Original poster
Idontknowwhy1 · 18/05/2023 09:28

Email back to say sorry but there's not enough jobs to go around between both the reconciliation & communion .. She'll speak to dc & explain this..
I sent a long curt reply to say out of all the children my dc was the only one who did the schools afterschool singing classes plus children who read at the reconciliation also have roles in the communion. Awaiting reply...
Never thought I'd be "that" parent but it needs to be done!

OP posts: