Why do people do this?

[pearlywirlyy]

My colleague asked yesterday morning if I was ok becauee I looked upset. Definitely not upset, just probably a bit quiet as I’m stressed about coursework I have to hand in and said that to them.

Later on that day another colleague who started work at 1pm asked if I was ok because first colleague had told her I was in a really bad mood and she has no idea why.

Firstly I wasn’t in a bad mood, I was just quiet and getting on with work and being my normal chatty self when I’d have a 5 minute break to go make a coffee. But why even after I said the reason was she going around telling people I was in a bad mood.

Maybe she was concerned for you? It’s not the worst thing that can happen! You said in your OP you were quiet and stressed so I imagine you looked stressed. Annoying having people ask when you want to be left alone, but it’s not a bad thing to ask people if they are ok.

First colleague is a workyticket. Buy her a wooden spoon for her stirring in the next secret Santa.

It wasn’t the asking if I’m ok part.

Its the fact that I told her the reason why and yet she went and told a different colleague I was in a bad mood and she didn’t know why. And her telling her I was also in a bad mood when I wasn’t at all.

Perhaps she told the other colleague before she had asked you?
Perhaps you gave the appearance of being in a bad mood anyway - just because you had a reason for it, doesn't make it any less true. Were you rude to your colleague, or a bit abrupt?

I think your response to her has been perceived by her to be kind of tardy. I cn certainly read it in that tone - you sounded annoyed that she asked if you were upset (when you were feeling stressed) and that may have come across as snapping at her.

So she said to a colleague you were in a mood because that's how she experienced your "I'm not upset, I'm busy" reply.

No because the colleague who told me came in later in the afternoon and our conversation happened in the morning.

I wasn’t in a bad mood at all, I was quiet getting on with work. But like I said when I had a coffee break I was laughing and chatting to people. I didn’t snap at anyone or was abrupt.

But I didn’t say I’m not upset I’m busy.

I said no I’m not upset I’m just a bit stressed with this coursework. There’s nothing wrong with that answer.

I said no I’m not upset I’m just a bit stressed with this coursework. There’s nothing wrong with that answer.

It might just have been the way you said it rather than what you said.

Try not to worry about it too much. If you were generally OK and happy and chatty in your break, but your colleague is telling people you were in a bad mood, then your other colleagues are more likely to wonder about her, rather than you. If they even think about it at all.

Just be yourself and try (though I know it can be difficult) not to get bogged down in other people's opinions.

She sounds a complete pita. I cannot stand random people asking me if I'm ok, the faux concern pisses me off. Tell her to fuck off next time, that'll give her something to gossip about.

It sounds like she's chosen to be offended and has decided to gossip about your supposed 'mood' rather than just get on with her day. She needs to get a grip.