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Ds1 and allowance

3 replies

Chopchopbusybusyworkwork · 15/05/2023 23:31

Ds1 is 18. He lives with my ex husband and has done so for two years. My ex gives me maintenance for our other two younger children but it is way below what he should, however he is self employed and I know that if I went via CMS he would hide his income and I would likely get less than I do now. My salary is ok but he earns double this.

I give my ex maintenance for DS1, in the same ratio as he pays me for DS2 and DS3, but I give an additional sum to DS1 direct that makes up the difference between what I give his father and what I feel I should be paying (a bit more than what the CMS says)

DS1 is leaving college soon, he isn’t going to uni so is job hunting. Once he leaves college, I can stop paying maintenance cant I? What are your thoughts on whether I should stop giving DS1 money too?

I have had a second job cleaning offices 5-7 am 6 days a week for the last 6 months as well as my professional full time role and I’ve just had to give it up because I’m broken, just exhausted all the time, so the money would be really welcome.

OP posts:
Danikm151 · 15/05/2023 23:33

Yea, once a child leaves education and turns 18 you stop paying maintenance.

Chopchopbusybusyworkwork · 16/05/2023 07:08

@Danikm151 any thoughts on what the right thing to with his allowance is? I feel a bit mean just stopping it!

OP posts:
TeenDivided · 16/05/2023 07:17

The right thing I think would be to give him some notice and then stop it.
So e.g. say you'll continue until end Sept or when he finds a job whichever is sooner.

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