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Original poster

Head not screwed on properly

21 replies

Usernamebilly · 15/05/2023 14:18

My friend's DD (5 yo with suspected SEN) who loses her things at school a lot, was told by her class teacher, after they found her lost cardigan, that 'this is what happens when your head is not screwed on properly'. This happened at pick up and my friend was quite upset with the language the teacher used.

DH who is English thinks this is just an English expression and it means nothing offensive. But friend is not English and thinks it's no ok. What do you think?

OP posts:

DustyLee123 · 15/05/2023 14:19

I think it’s a normal saying, nothing to get offended by.

rainraingoawaay · 15/05/2023 14:20

I'm English and have heard this phrase lots through life - it's never been meant in an offensive way in my experience, I said it to my sister at the weekend!

Having your head screwed on right to me means practical / sensible etc. So not having it screwed on right is basically the opposite. Again, never offensive in the contexts I've heard!

Spidertights · 15/05/2023 14:21

It's quite old fashioned and unfair if the child has SEN but not that unusual.

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MichelleScarn · 15/05/2023 14:21

What does the parent think it means?

Original poster

Usernamebilly · 15/05/2023 14:23

MichelleScarn · 15/05/2023 14:21

What does the parent think it means?

I think she felt offended, not sure exactly what she thought it meant. She probably translated it in her own language and it sounded offensive.

OP posts:

ErrolTheDragon · 15/05/2023 14:27

It's a standard English idiom, used if people are being a bit absentminded or dippy - not associated with SEN afaik.

Original poster

Usernamebilly · 15/05/2023 14:30

I'm not English myself (although I don't speak the same language as my friend) and I'm on the fence on this one. It doesn't sound offensive but it does sound a little old fashioned and I would definitely not use it with small children.

OP posts:

CoronationKicking · 15/05/2023 14:48

Are you sure she didn't say "you'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on properly", meaning the child is forever forgetting things?

I've never heard it said the way you're describing. And no, it's not offensive

Datingpuzzle101 · 15/05/2023 14:55

It's not offensive it's just another way to say ditsy or absent minded.

Why does everything have to be a sleight or insult these days?

OwlsRock · 15/05/2023 14:56

We need to stop being offended by EVERYTHING! life is hard enough!

Justlovedogs · 15/05/2023 15:05

Datingpuzzle101 · 15/05/2023 14:55

It's not offensive it's just another way to say ditsy or absent minded.

Why does everything have to be a sleight or insult these days?

This, 100%.
I have days where my head isn't screwed on right, usually means I'm making a few mistakes or being a bit clumsy!

MrsPoliportsGoose · 15/05/2023 15:05

I wouldn't find this offensive at all - I hear it all the time, and use it all the time. It just means being forgetful or a bit dizzy. And I've always found it to be a lighthearted/funny/endearing comment.

HolyFuckerRooney · 15/05/2023 15:07

It's not offensive @Usernamebilly

PollyPeptide · 15/05/2023 15:09

I would definitely not use it with small children.

Why not? It's a common idiom and children get faced with idioms everyday. It really isn't an offensive phrase.

Pibrea · 15/05/2023 15:24

I’m British and think this is awful. What she said implies that the child is forgetful deliberately / out of laziness, when potentially it’s a symptom of her SEN.

PollyPeptide · 15/05/2023 15:40

Pibrea · 15/05/2023 15:24

I’m British and think this is awful. What she said implies that the child is forgetful deliberately / out of laziness, when potentially it’s a symptom of her SEN.

No, it doesnt. There's no implication of laziness in the phrase nor of it being deliberate. It just means forgetful or not operating fully switched on.

ErrolTheDragon · 15/05/2023 16:25

Losing things/being forgetful is pretty standard 5yo behavior, isn't it? I'd bet the teacher applies the phrase to lots of kids in her class from time to time.

PassMeTheRedbull · 16/05/2023 13:22

I'm Scottish and there is a very common saying 'you'd loose you head if it wasn't screwed on' for people who loose things a lot, I even say it about myself, teacher probably meant that.

RandomMess · 16/05/2023 14:01

Not offensive but it's a little insensitive considering the suspected SEN.

I would reassure your friend that this is a very common English saying and is not seen as offensive and certainly wouldn't have been meant as an insult or derogatory.

Pixiedust1234 · 16/05/2023 14:18

Usernamebilly · 15/05/2023 14:23

I think she felt offended, not sure exactly what she thought it meant. She probably translated it in her own language and it sounded offensive.

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She can feel offended all she likes but she needs to understand that not everything is offensive. She needs to dig a little deeper to find out why she felt it, ie was it because it was about her pfb.

It just means that if her head wasn't screwed on (already part of her body) she would leave it behind, same as her coat or her books. I cant see how that would translate badly though.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 16/05/2023 14:18

Pibrea · 15/05/2023 15:24

I’m British and think this is awful. What she said implies that the child is forgetful deliberately / out of laziness, when potentially it’s a symptom of her SEN.

Agreed, I can't believe the comments missing that connection.

I mean, 'you need to learn to stand on your own 2 feet' is a saying, but would you say it to a child in a wheelchair who was struggling with doing a task independently?

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