If you were our family - how would you divide your time?

[ToddlerMum2]

I guess DH and I are struggling with finding a healthy balance in our lives if we’re honest. It’s just us and one DC who is almost 3. We’ve each grown quite distant with friends and both struggle with doing anything for ourselves as individuals due to our working routine and us each feeling guilty for taking time for ourselves when it could be “family time”.

If this were your family - what would you see as a healthy balance in terms of spending time as a family, each parent having downtime to do whatever they want (see friends, hairdressers, clubs/sports etc), spending time as a couple etc.

Parent A - works abroad. 2weeks away, 2 weeks home. 2 days from the “home” days are taken up with travel. During 2 weeks at work they work 14-15 hours per day for 14 days. Often unreachable other than in proper emergencies. It’s usually a 5 min phonecall or FaceTime each day if possible. 2 weeks at home they are completely work free.

Parent B - works close to home. 30h/week over 3 or 4 days.

Childcare while Parent B works is covered by other family during Parent As time away at work. It is covered by Parent A when they are on their time home.

Due to working patterns etc we essentially have 4.5 days out of each of Parent As “home time” where we are all together. We also have evenings during “home time” while DC is in bed.

I think for parents who work with young dc who don't even work away it's pretty impossible to make time for all the below.

family time
alone time
friend time
couple time
hobbies

Something has to give, you can't balance all the plates at once.

I agree with @frankgu

Nor would I wanting a 'timetable' for my life.
You have to play things by ear for a bit, or go with the flow.
One day you might be invited round to granny's for the afternoon / a meal, and you all get time together, but you don't have to do that every week. When you need your haircut, then it needs to be cut, but it doesn't need to be a big thing about it ruling out anything else on that day.
With you living apart for 1/2 of each month I'd like to think it would be nice to spend time as a couple a bit more than the rest of us might need to carve that out, but it sounds like you can do that most evenings when both parents are home.
Sometimes it's going to be dry / sunny and you might go on an impromptu walk or picnic as a family, but realistically, all working parents have to fit stuff around jobs (paid), jobs (to do with the house/ car / garden / shopping / etc).
With only one dc, and them not yet being old enough that you have to fit things in for them too, it shouldn't be that difficult.