Growing up in town vs countryside

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We currently live in a nice but large town with good schools etc, we have 2 children under 5.

I would like to move out to a village, more rural but not remote. So somewhere with a village pub, hall, bit of community etc.

DH grew up in a village. Remembers being bored and it was a pain for his parents having to ferry him everywhere (or they simply wouldn't so struggled to meet friends occasionally). He would prefer to remain in a town so easier on us and the kids for meeting friends and doing things. There's lots going on here for families.

I grew up in a town and like the idea of somewhere a bit more rural where you really get to know people. I feel where we live is an extension of London sometimes just without the commute (we spent over 10years living in London pre kids).

Is my DH right?
If you grew up in the countryside, did you wish you lived somewhere with more going on?

I think your DH has a valid point. My DH grew up in a village. He used to walk/hitch to get into town as a teen because it was so quiet and boring.

I grew up in a village. It was lovely when we were children but horrible when we were teenagers.

In the UK there are so many lovely towns that are just a short drive from the countryside. I would choose one of these. As a kid I lived in both a town and a village. The town was amazing. Growing up there was a dream! So close to friends but also close to the beach, big parks, and the countryside was within walking distance if we fancied a bit of a hike. The perfect place to grow up. Living in the village was awful as a kid. The bus was only once an hour for a set amount of time and rarely showed up. There was a beach and loads of beautiful countryside but that was literally it. Without friends to share it with (they would hang out in the town) it was depressing and miserable. I always felt I was missing out. It was inconvenient and annoying for my parents to have to give me lifts and pick me up all the time. A lovely village but I hated it. Also villagers were a bit “you’re not from here” and kind of shitty to “outsiders”. And people didn’t really know each other that well anyway - I mean no better than you’d know people in your area in a town. If anything people in the village knew each other less well because they usually just stayed home. For socialising everyone went to the town!

I’ll be honest, your description of your current home (good sized town, lots of things for families to do, no commute, good schools) sounds really good, and your reasons for wanting to move to a village don’t sound convincing at all. I’d listen to your DH.

I grew up in a town and even that was way too boring for me as a teen. Moved out to London and never looked back as soon as I was 18

Gawd I grew up rural and I hated it. I love the countryside but don’t want to live in it. I now live on the very edge of a Medium size town. Fifteen minutes walk one way there is a co op, hairdressers, florist, chip shop, laundrette, sandwich bar, church, main bus route to the city, 3 schools, dog grooming parlour, pharmacy, post office, burger takeaway, Chinese take away, The other way and a further 15 minutes are open fields.

I was actually back this weekend to the rural idyll I grew up in for a wedding, wedding was fab. The taxi driver was actually someone’s Mum I had been to school with, bumped in to an old school friend within about 20 mins of getting out of aforementioned taxi. Staying with a friend who has virulently complained about as she put it fucking Londoners moving to the area.

I am sure some rural areas may welcome outsiders but some really don’t.

I grew up in the countryside and it was a pain in the arse. Had to get lifts everywhere and couldn’t do spontaneous things with friends. Plus massive lack of things to do so lots of alcohol, drugs and sex. Ime anyway!🤣

@Haggisfish3 Yes lots of drugs, only myself and one friend didn’t do them
everyone else was off their faces. Cow tipping, the lads used to do that, cow shit fights, nothing like a cow pat being frisbeed towards your face, remember one lad getting done for badger digging in my class at school, house next to my school often had a string of dead rabbits hung outside the front door.

I grew up in a medium sized town, then lived in a major city but have brought my children up in the country.

There are pros and cons. Lack of public transport is certainly an issue and things tend to be further apart so there can be a lot of taxi driving for parents. My personal view is that if you move to the countryside with children you need to expect and be willing to deal with that. Chances are that if they get into a sport or something there is going to be a lot more travel than if you were in an urban area. For instance I do an 80 mile round trip one or two evenings a week for my DS's sport.
On the other hand, my kids have grown up being able to do things on an every day basis that had we stayed in the city would have been at best weekend or probably only holiday activities. We are a fairly outdoorsy family and being able to decide spontaneously go out say cycling or sailing after school when the weather is good really suits us. They've also been fortunate enough to go to exceptionally good schools, though obviously that won't be the case in every rural setting. But we would almost definitely have had to educate them privately in the city we lived in previously to get a similar standard - and then we'd have had no money for hobbies anyway, even if they were accessible.
I guess it depends a lot on what you are interested in. When we go back to the city I do like how multicultural it is, and being able to go out for different types of food easily, plus I do miss things like being able to make a last minute decision to go to the theatre or a concert. But you can't have everything I guess and as our major interests are better served here I don't regret it. Of course had we lived in an urban area it's possible our children would have developed different interests and been equally happy, but they are all in their late teens or young adults now and none of them seem dissatisfied with their upbringing. None of them has ever been short of things to do, in fact they have all had at least one very time consuming hobby. I don't think they've missed out on anything they've wanted to do but it's perhaps been harder work for us to ensure that, I don't know really.

I grew up rurally, and agree with your DH.
I left home during my A-Levels, when I was 17, and moved to the town. I was fed up of the long commute to college and of being so isolated from everybody else.

I grew up in the countryside and had to get a taxi to the bus stop for college, being reliant on parents to drive you everywhere was isolating and horrible. I'd never do that to a child. Saying you don't mind driving all the time is one thing, but as a child and teenager it's awful.

I think it'll depend on the village, and the DC.

DF grew up in a village and spent all his time outdoors, he hated it and went off the rails a bit when his family moved to a big town at 14.

My cousins I am closest to who are from the same little cluster of villages as my dad 1) moved away for uni for a bit, then came back and is taking over the family business 2) moved away for uni but now lives in another the same size village 3) moved away for uni and still lives in her uni city.

I think you might be idealising village life a bit, as just one example you'll be lucky to find many pubs these days, they've all closed down, at least in part due to incomers who only visit a couple of weeks a year and mostly bring their hampers with them or get ocado deliveries. The rest of the year the houses stand silent.

I grew up in a major city and hated the noise, dirt, and misogynistic football and hard drinking culture but when I did move somewhere much more rural (Hampshire then West Country) it took a while to adjust. I've also lived in a couple of towns with a population of about 100k and fairly good facilities and transport and I'd choose that every time now.

I’d add that as an adult, I’d love to live rurally now. Now that I’m older, not so bothered about going to places and can drive, I wish I lived rurally. I feel happier in the countryside. But I have kids, and I just couldn’t do that to them. So we live on the edge of a market town - the kids can walk to school and their friend’s houses, and there’s a train station with train to the nearest city. Plan is to move rurally once they’ve left home.

I live in the suburbs of a big town and my sons love it because they can be independent without my involvement. Everything they want and need is easily reached including taking a train into London if they want to travel further. It's easy to find a field to play footie or go to the shops for a wander.

It's not as pretty as a rural location but they will leave one day and if I wanted to move then, I could but I prefer the convenience of cities/towns.

I wouldn't want to move to a village and discover it's one of those places that shun you for not living there your whole life. I'm not saying that all villages are like that but I've seen posts from people who struggle socially. I wouldn't want my kids to go to a small village school either as the tiny friendship pool and everybody knowing everybody else's business would put me off. The smallest school my kids went to had 22 in a class and I wouldn't want to go smaller than that.