I've messed up, help please

Crustsamongus · 2023-05-14T11:37:44+00:00

I have PMS/ PMDD, currently at its worst (period due Tuesday). Went out for dinner with husband last night and I basically ruined the whole thing by picking a fight with him. This morning, we were about to go to the park with the kids and the in-laws. I got a bit grumpy and husband snapped at me to just go home if I was going to be like this. So, being the nice calm and rational person I am at the moment, I walked off without a word. I am now hiding in a café with cake. My question is: how do I come back from this? I am beyond embarrassed 😳

TidyDancer · 14/05/2023 12:41

But cake for everyone then go home and profusely apologise.

stbrandonsboat · 14/05/2023 12:43

Enjoy your cake and try not to worry. You haven't done anything wrong. PMDD absolutely sucks. You can get a low dose of antidepressant like sertraline which can help this. Some people will just take it around their worst time period in the run up to menstruation. Supplements can help, but if it's severe they won't do that much. Perhaps try some L Theanine.

dudsville · 14/05/2023 12:48

Yup, just give a truly heartfelt aology.

Also, start tracking your periods. I always used to have a note in my diary for the week-ish leading up to my period to remind myself to double chck my emotional responses or any big decisions. If your periods aren't regular then you just need to do this all the time, never be impulsive with emotions and decisions. You can bring your partner in on it so that he knows it's something you're addressing.

It's hard being a woman and learning to navigate hormonal fluctuations, you have my sympathy! I used to spend a week a month paranoid that everyone hated me. It was dreadful. Then immediately when my period started I felt amazing and on top of the world, a week after that I felt my most beautiful, then suddenly haggard, then paranoid. It's a roller coaster.

Indoorcatmum · 14/05/2023 12:50

Definitely buy cakes... But be lighthearted and you don't need to be embarrassed.

Just say "sorry, I was a bit of a shit... But here's cake" and then have a nice Sunday :)

wheretoyougonow · 14/05/2023 12:55

It happens, don't be hard on yourself. Buy cake and maybe send a text to your husband apologising.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 14/05/2023 13:25

stbrandonsboat · 14/05/2023 12:43

Enjoy your cake and try not to worry. You haven't done anything wrong. PMDD absolutely sucks. You can get a low dose of antidepressant like sertraline which can help this. Some people will just take it around their worst time period in the run up to menstruation. Supplements can help, but if it's severe they won't do that much. Perhaps try some L Theanine.

I wouldn't take the sertraline advice. I'm on the smallest dose and my anxiety got worse for the first few days of taking it. It also takes days to work so I wouldn't just take it around your period. Plus I still get pmt and anxiety is worse around my period.

MrsRinaDecker · 14/05/2023 13:31

I’ve been there and done that! I’m normally a really calm person, don’t get angry, hate confrontation.. A couple of days a months I either want to cry or yell at people! I have had to apologise, own my behaviour, explain hormones, and work really hard on recognising when it’s creeping up on me and not taking it out on those around me. (I do remember one time giving ds1 an awful row about something inconsequential and he disappeared to the shop and came back with chocolate cos he’d realised what time of the month it was..)

stbrandonsboat · 14/05/2023 13:44

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 14/05/2023 13:25

I wouldn't take the sertraline advice. I'm on the smallest dose and my anxiety got worse for the first few days of taking it. It also takes days to work so I wouldn't just take it around your period. Plus I still get pmt and anxiety is worse around my period.

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Perhaps you need a different ssri. Some people don't find sertraline that effective, but there are others so it's worth experimenting.

YouDoYouHun · 14/05/2023 13:46

Another one against the sertraline advice. It can take 6 weeks to start having any effect so completely useless if taking it on and off. You'd either need to be on it constantly (if doc approves) or look into other options.

Love the taking cake home idea. Cake solves pretty much every life problem

YouDoYouHun · 14/05/2023 13:47

The emoji there was supposed to be a smile, but I guess the cake kind of works? Lol

PhoenixArisen · 14/05/2023 13:49

Just go back and rejoin. Tell them all you're sorry for being grumpy.

pecantoucan · 14/05/2023 13:49

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 14/05/2023 13:25

I wouldn't take the sertraline advice. I'm on the smallest dose and my anxiety got worse for the first few days of taking it. It also takes days to work so I wouldn't just take it around your period. Plus I still get pmt and anxiety is worse around my period.

Show quote history

It works really well for me.

Anyway OP I'd apologise and make an appointment to speak to your GP about it

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 14/05/2023 13:50

I disagree. Sertraline has massively helped My dd pmt. She was unbearable to live with. Now she is balanced and pleasant. On a low dose with
No gaps.

YouNeverSeeTheRealMe · 14/05/2023 13:51

Take some cakes home for the family and apologise for being miserable

Hadituptoere · 14/05/2023 13:56

Another one here with horrendous PMT and on a low dose of sertraline. It’s done amazing things for me, I’m really chuffed with how much it’s helped. My usage is constant though.

Original poster

Crustsamongus · 14/05/2023 14:59

Thanks for your replies everyone. I'm back with the family now. Kids are fine, husband isn't talking to me but will hopefully come round at some point today.

I spoke to the GP a few months ago. I am on sertraline anyway but take a higher dose for a week before my period. I had also been taking bit B, magnesium and evening primrose my entire cycle. I forgot to take those this month though and the PMDD is horrendous again, so maybe it was doing more than I thought.

OP posts: