Inspired by another thread on here - I want to right my wrong (not even for my own sake).
I have a friend who let down big time last summer. Their marriage broke down unexpectedly and, understandably, they were devastated. I should have been there, they've seen me through some difficult times of my life. But at the time I was struggling, really struggling, with my own mental health (I went through a phase of experiencing paranoid delusions about my own DH and other close relatives and subsequently was under CMHT). I never checked in on them and when they then messaged me around Christmas I felt too ashamed and awkward about how significantly I'd let them down, irrespective of the reason, that I didn't message back.
I'm absolutely understanding of and fully anticipate them not wanting anything further to do with me, but I want to at least have the decency of letting them know that it was me and not them. I'm still having quite bad anxiety although it's not as bad as it was and I almost feel as bad trying to justify my actions as I do about knowing I'm avoiding them.
Frankly I'm scared of being torn to pieces for being a shit friend, even though I know it, even though I deserve it, because ultimately I don't actually want to lose the friendship, I just don't know what to say. 😞