When do babies sleep longer stretches at night?

[Whoneedsleep]

Just that really.

DC3 is 8 weeks and I must have blocked out how torturous this is.

He has literally not slept longer than 2 hours ever. I am a walking zombie with double vision and a brain that can’t think. The days are fine as he is put in a sling and I get on with it the best I can but the nights are killing me.

Nights begin at 10pm and he’s up around every 1.5hours taking 30mins or so to resettle, sometimes longer. He isn’t screaming- just awake making noise and threatening to cry until I feed him/change him and then help him back to sleep. I then start the day with 18 month old DC2 at 5am.

I already co sleep because I kept falling asleep while feeding him so felt it was safer to already be prepared. I use white noise, dummy etc. He isn’t wet, cold or anything like that. I also don’t think he’s hungry particularly, sometimes it only takes an ounce or two to get him back to sleep. He has suspected reflux but is generally a happy cheerful soul so Dr didn’t think medication was indicated. He is awake during the day regularly and developing really well. I can’t sleep train as I can’t disturb my other DC with screaming so I have to keep him as quiet as possible.

Before I die of sleep deprivation, please can someone tell me how long I have to endure this?!

Jotting down my experience:

My baby is six months and as far as I can make out she sleeps way worse then every other baby.

She woke every 45 min/1.5 hour until she was around 4.5 months. Then she snapped out of it one night for no reason and she will now sleep in 2-3 hour stints. I find 2-3 hour stints totally manageable compared to the 45/1.5 hour stints.

Every other baby I know seems to be able to sleep 5-12 hour stints with no problem (or so I’m told) from the age of 4.5/5 months.

I’d say hold out until 4.5/5 months and you’ll be ok. Worse case you’ll be like me surviving on 2/3 hours (totally fine) best case you’ll be getting 12 hours.

DD slept through from 21 days. An early riser but still a fab sleeper at six.
DS is 13 months and still thinks he is a newborn at night!
8 weeks is young to sleep train but I will say DS never seems to wake DD with his hourly wake ups even when he is next door to her!

About 2.5 years here, sorry

DC2 is also still in the room and not waking up as such but she’s much more tired and grumpy since he arrived so I presume she must be disturbed too. I just don’t want to leave him screaming and have everyone awake then having to deal with 3 tired grumpy kids while tired myself!

I feel for you @Peanutbutteryday There’s no reasoning behind it is there? What can he actually want if he’s fed, warm, dry and in his mothers arms 😩

My other two were much worse babies, much more screamy but they slept for 3-4 hours at a time which meant I was functioning at least. 5 months seems an age away but it can’t last forever can it?

No help from me as my now nearly 8 year old didn't do more than 2 hours until he was over 3, slept through from 5. It killed me 😬😬😬😬

I have 3 DC, each time 7 weeks was the point where I really needed to sleep. I got a routine going and my 3 DC all sleep through a short night eg. 11-5 or so at 8 weeks and then this progressed to 12 hours straight through at 12 weeks. Then they woke at the most once a year if they were poorly although to be honest they seemed to sleep more if they were a bit poorly.

It really depends on baby.

Amongst my children and my nieces and nephews it ranged from 6 weeks to 4 years.

DS1 woke every 45 minutes from 3 to about 12 months and didn’t sleep through reliably until he was 5. In assured by friends he is an outlier. DS2 was much less bad and only woke about twice a night from about 6 months.

@Swishhh what helped do you think? Just the usual bath and bed type of thing?

I need to try something as the current plan isn’t working at all.

I feel like I can’t survive much longer like this never mind until he is 3 or 4 😩

I’m not an expert as only have on Dc but I don’t believe I’m doing anything wrong (and nor are you) as do all the obvious…bath…book…white noise

I’ve found it easiest to accept that my dd just needs me a little more than some other babies might 🤷🏽‍♀️ Obviously this might not suit everyone but the acceptance did help me a lot

Mine either wakes as she likes cuddles or milk. Who knows!

If you are struggling is there anything you can do for a kick fix to help your current sleep deprivation? DH or family take both DCs out and let you have a lay in or a long sleep to reboot?

Depends on the baby and if sleep training is involved and if they actually respond to it.

Mine started sleeping through at 8 weeks. He responded well to structure and routine and I also taught him how to self settle from birth.

Are you bottle feeding? If so then can your husband do some feeds?

It does seem to completely depend on the baby but from those I’ve spoken to (as well as my child) I think there is a big change around 12 weeks. Their little insides have got bigger, they can take in more milk and some of our problems with projectile vomiting stopped (I think this was non-scientifically just due to his insides being so little and taking in too much milk) so maybe the reflux will ease off around then. I think it may be a catch 22 though because as baby is in the sling with you during the day and maybe not used to lying in a boring flat bed, when it comes to night time he will then be unsettling himself and waking up as he goes into a lighter sleep each time. Is he in a swaddle/swaddle bag? I can’t remember at what point I stopped using these but they definitely helped with the Moro reflex bit at the start to stop them waking themselves up. It also majorly helped when he learnt how to suck his thumb so he’d just put himself back to sleep.

hope you get a break and a good chunk of sleep soon 🤞🏻

My DM told me to always put my DD in her nightie when I put her down for the night, because then she would know it was time to sleep 😴.
My doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing.
To be fair though she was always a great sleeper 😊.

@Swishhh what helped do you think? Just the usual bath and bed type of thing?
I spaced the day time feeds out to at least a three hour gap rather than doing little and often feeds. Then I either did a 11pm big feed or fed on and off all evening depending on the DC. I never changed a nappy at night or put a light on.
After 7 weeks if they started making little noises in the night I gently rocked the crib and this would give me another hour until I needed to feed. So in the short term I got less sleep but it was a case of short term pain for long term gain. The next night they didn’t need the gentle rocking as they slept the extra hour and so it went on.
What I didn’t do was start their night early in the evening at say 7pm, I kept them
with me in the living room until about 11pm and that when the night began. I aimed to get a short solid night which I did at 8 weeks and then it grew by itself to 12 hours at 12 weeks. I didn’t want to end up with a block of sleep from say 8pm to 1pm and then unsettled all night.
I breast fed one, did a mixture with another and bottle fed the third. It worked with all three.

Thanks everyone!! Last night was hell. He was awake at 9,10,11,1,3 and then finally 5!

Hes been having problems with reflux all day so I wonder if that’s the problem.

He’s already in a swaddle bag but he tends to vomit on them all by midnight and end up back in a normal sleeping bag 🙄

DH tries to help but for some bizarre reason the baby won’t settle for him at all so I end up doing it anyway! The previous two would sleep for either of us but this one is very much only for me. He is bottle fed so not a breastfeeding thing either.

Im just trying to remember this will pass. Thanks again all!

Can you keep him up with you until you go to bed, not necessarily actually awake but not down for the night either?

Do you feed every time he wakes?

I did practically the same as Swishhh did, kept them downstairs with us until 11 ish, last feed and change at that time and then the very dark room, rock the crib if they stir etc no lights, talking or stimulation when feeding at night. My 3 slept through from approx 11pm to 6-7am from 12 weeks, 9 weeks and 5 weeks respectively.

Maybe I need to stay up later! I’ve been trying to get him down early say 8-9 just after the toddler because he’s up at 4am and I was desperate for another hour or two!

I do feed him every time he wakes because he won’t go back to sleep otherwise, just rolls about whinging until the milk arrives. He won’t take a dummy either so I can’t just give him that as much as I’ve tried.

He was up at 4am for the day- great fun!

This sounds exactly like my DD who is now 15 weeks and she now very nearly sleeps through (for now!). She was an awful sleeper and DH and I had to do shifts through the night using the spare room as it was unbearable, she just didn’t sleep. I so understand how you are feeling. Here’s what we changed, I hope this may help you!:

• She had suspected reflux, I think that’s what the wiggling about all night and threatening to cry was about. She was on cow and gate formula but her stomach didn’t agree, I changed her to HiPP Organic from a GP recommendation, she seemed a lot better but not 100% so switched to the anti-reflux version and the change was amazing. Silent sleeping, no more wriggling about, regular dirty nappies, she even burps herself 99.9% of the time after a feed. I can’t recommend it enough. Only problems are it’s expensive, and very hard to get, we get it from Amazon in packs of 4. (I found one pack in a big Tesco once so luckily bought just one to try her on before committing to a 4 pack!).
• A routine. She has a bath every night, anywhere between 19:00-20:00, we read her a story and dress her for bed etc., then bring her downstairs so she can fall asleep in her Moses basket and we still have an evening as a couple, DH then stays up with her and feeds her a bottle at 22:30-23:00 and changes her, puts her in a sleeping bag and brings her up to bed. We do this even if we are out late, we bathe her before going out and she will very often fall asleep when are out, and we pick up the feed etc when we are back home.

I suspect the formula is the biggest factor here, as she seems just happier in herself anyway, but I really do think a routine helps, maybe the bath etc reminds her what is coming, who knows!

Sorry for the massive wall of text but I really needed someone to type this out for me when I was in the throes of it, so I really hope this may help you!

Thanks so much @ChocolateBiscuit2
I’m sure I felt this way with the other ones too but I’ve blocked it out as it was too awful to remember 😄

Ive just swapped him to anti reflux milk this morning…praying this helps and doesn’t give me other problems!

He really needs to be doing the 5am start with the toddler if nothing else.

@StormShadow i wish! He leaves for work at around 5:45-6am. He has them both while I quickly get dressed and then pretty much leaves.

He gets home around 6pm but we have after school activities to take DC1 too 3 nights a week so one of us watches the babies while the other does that. After that it’s dog walks and tea, baths and bed. With 3 it is easier with 2 of us doing it together splitting jobs…then it’s pretty much bedtime!!

How do you train your babies to not need feeds at night time? My baby won’t drink more than 2oz each time, how do I break him out of feeding little and often? He’s only 9 weeks today and has been a very gassy and refluxy baby since 2 weeks. He usually starts his night sleep at 9pm, wakes up around 2, then 5, then 7-8 and up for the day. I’m exhausted even though some might consider these long stretches but I’m keen to string his sleep together.