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Original poster

Have you ever regretted looking up an old friend?

23 replies

TroubledTimes1 · 13/05/2023 16:23

I looked up a childhood friend and I'm very sorry that I did now. He's in currently in prison for rape and domestic violence and has a history of other violent and sexual offences. I feel a bit sullied now,though it's nothing in comparison to what his victims have suffered.

OP posts:
Original poster
TroubledTimes1 · 13/05/2023 16:24

I very rarely look up people I used to know so trust me to do it with this guy of all people.

OP posts:
Original poster
TroubledTimes1 · 13/05/2023 19:53

Just me then?

OP posts:
70sTomboy · 13/05/2023 19:57

I looked up my bully. They have had a successful life by all accounts. Big house, successful career, beautiful family, I know it sounds awful but as a child I was told they would get their comeuppance as they got older..that didn't happen by god looks of it.

70sTomboy · 13/05/2023 19:58

*The looks

NewYearNewUsername23 · 13/05/2023 20:01

I looked up a uni friend I’d lost touch with and discovered she’d died. It would have been easier in the days before FB when I’d have just occasionally thought of things we’d done together and wondered what she’s up to.

ZeppelinTits · 13/05/2023 20:07

I once looked up a good childhood friend and found he'd died in a car crash aged 20. He was a lovely lad, I felt so sad for his poor mum who'd already lost her husband to cancer when my friend was a young child. The double loss must have been horrendous for her Sad

DannyZukosSmile · 13/05/2023 20:21

No. Never regretted it. I have looked up old friends/people I used to know/old classmates now and again, but tbh my life is better than theirs (or just and good,) from what I can see. Not sure why or how I would ever regret looking anyone up.

DannyZukosSmile · 13/05/2023 20:22

I suppose if I discovered someone was dead that would be a shame, but it's never happened. (to me.)

DannyZukosSmile · 13/05/2023 20:23

I have known people from the past die yes, but not found out by looking them up IYSWIM.

Swansandcustard · 13/05/2023 20:45

I try to but don’t know married names! Never seem to find anything on FB or via Google. Maybe I’m crap at searching?

Davestwattymissus · 13/05/2023 20:52

I looked up someone I'd been friends with for a while in my 20s, she had a really unusual name and it came up in conversation with DH. I googled her to see if I could find her, and she'd sadly been murdered. Really not what I was expecting to find. She was a lovely girl but very troubled even when i knew her, and her life had taken some really bad turns as a result, culminating in her death. So sad.

Littlegoth · 13/05/2023 20:59
  1. A childhood friend who I lost touch with when she moved. I’d kept an eye out for her over the years, friends reunited, MySpace etc. I found out about 3 years ago that she developed schizophrenia in her teens and hanged herself just shy of her 21st birthday. Absolutely gutted and it’s something I’ll always be sad about. There’s nothing I could have done to prevent it but I wish I’d been able to try.
  2. Friend I was close to as a teenager (and had a crush on but her was a bit old for me), then drifted apart when I went to uni. 13 years later and we are having our second child in a few weeks. No regrets ❤️
Littlegoth · 13/05/2023 21:00

They are the only people I’ve been bothered to look up.

summerfinn · 13/05/2023 21:17

Not so much an old friend but a girl that bullied me now has a big enough following on social media and apparently suffered with mental health issues yet bullied me for mine. People thank her for being so brave to share her struggles but she bullied me to the point of me having to leave the school . I had a nervous breakdown because of her . It makes me sick to see her so well liked . She's evil. I often think of letting her followers know what she's really like.

Bubblyb00b · 13/05/2023 22:05

I had a good friend at school who I fell out with when we became young adults; she became unbearable, very superficial, snobby and entitled (her dad was very rich, I was from working class family). Looked her up when we were in our 30th, we both had stuff happen to us and now were sort of on the same level, I thought we are finally sensible grownups and can be friends again - it started off really well but then fell out because after initial "honeymoon" period she started to behave in the exactly the same way - snobby, dismissive and obnoxious. I really felt like a mug, could not understand why I was so stupid.

SocialLite · 13/05/2023 23:19

I was contacted by someone that bullied me horrifically at school. I just ignored it. It felt like she was just trying to make herself feel better and it certainly didn't help me.

I've not looked up anyone myself, but am in contact with a lot of people anyway.

huggiewuggie · 14/05/2023 09:18

Bubblyb00b · 13/05/2023 22:05

I had a good friend at school who I fell out with when we became young adults; she became unbearable, very superficial, snobby and entitled (her dad was very rich, I was from working class family). Looked her up when we were in our 30th, we both had stuff happen to us and now were sort of on the same level, I thought we are finally sensible grownups and can be friends again - it started off really well but then fell out because after initial "honeymoon" period she started to behave in the exactly the same way - snobby, dismissive and obnoxious. I really felt like a mug, could not understand why I was so stupid.

I had EXACTLY this experience with a friend who I was at a very normal school with who studied at Cambridge university and decided she was better than everyone.

Cut ties in my late 20s then about ten years later thinking I'd been harsh apologised and got back in touch. Went ok at first but she hadn't changed, still thought she was better than everyone.

It all fell apart again.

I've blocked her on everything now. Full me once shame on you. Full me twice shame on me.

huggiewuggie · 14/05/2023 09:19

Fool me not full me

CharlottenBerg · 14/05/2023 09:30

Mixed. I looked up an old school friend on Facebook, found them, and sent a friend invitation. Accepted. Oh dear. It soon emerged that this person was a raving Tory who thought Brexit was a brilliant idea. I tracked down another one by going on an FB group for residents and ex-residents of where we went to school. I asked if anyone remembered this person. Oh dear again. His sister popped up from Canada to say my friend had died in New Zealand years before. But another person, who I'd had a brief fling with while their partner was away in Ibiza (!) turned out to be still a very interesting and lively person, an artist, and living in Devon. Labour voter too like me. We'll never meet up, but they write things on my FB page now and then.

mdh2020 · 14/05/2023 09:33

I looked up a male friend from school. He was gorgeous and we were very good friends (or I thought so). Everyone at school talked about us and the HT called me in and said I shouldn’t be thinking of getting engaged but should go to uni. Little did she know. It was back in the 60s and I could never understand why he didn’t want to hold my hand and never tried to kiss me. You guessed it - when I looked him up on FB he was with a male partner.

NewbieSoberista · 14/05/2023 09:38

DH just found out than an old flatmate from uni died years ago. We're only in late thirties so he must have died really young ☹️

I do know two lads from school who died of drug overdoses and by suicide after getting heavily involved in drugs. Also a friend from gap year died not long after my gap year (when I was first year at uni - she was still travelling). Really sad.

A weird kid from my primary school was prosecuted for producing images of child sex abuse and another for cheque fraud. A guy from my uni also got prosecuted for insider trading when we were still pretty young. That was sad. He was a nice guy (I thought)

YorkieTheRabbit · 14/05/2023 09:40

No, but I am someone who has an old friend trying to contact me.
About 15 years ago she bumped into my dad and gave him her number to give me.
I’ve seen her mention my name on our old high school Facebook group. She was asking if anyone had my details. She then tracked down my step brother and gave him her number and email address.
He passed them to me but I haven’t been in touch with her.
We we’re good friends at school but as adults she always lurched from one disaster relationship to another, and I don’t want to revisit her drama.

HashtagShitShop · 14/05/2023 10:36

Lost contact with first love when we were 16. Looked him up a few times over the years. Then about 10 years later I found him on friends reunited and spoke to him a few times. He sent me a few messages and wanted to meet for sex despite having a new baby with his partner and living with her and her kids from another relationship. Was really sleezy... Then a few months later there's a report in the local paper.

He had had a job that had put him in contact with mid teen girls and had slept with 2 of them on a field and gotten one pregnant forcing her to have an abortion. His partner was standing by him.

Poor woman & kids and those poor poor girls!

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