Fed up of feeling like this...how can I get on top of the all the "extra" jobs wth no money or time?!?

[timepoorandcashpoor]

I am self employed (mostly from home) so always have work that could/should be done.

Kids do activities which means that I am often interrupted in the 3-7 pm time slot to get them.

We always get the basic stuff done - generally tidy, laundry done, cooking washing up etc.

But I am falling behind on the next level jobs and i hate how it is making me feel. I keep missing that the kids don't have x or y clothes

The front of our house is dreadful = loads of weeds on driveway and plants which got frost damage which are now dead - we don't have time or funds to replace really.

Neither of us are any good at DIY and neither am I and I know I could poss youtube stuff but worried about making things worse.

Old me from 7 years ago would have booked a handy man and a gardener for the equivalent of a "one off clean" but we can't afford it.

Wondering as I type this whether I could skill swap with someone local
Just fed up really.
Any advice and nice messages gratefully received.

What are your weekends like? You might have to cancel a social occasion to get on with some jobs?

First, though, just get everyone outside for half an hour after dinner tonight to chuck the dead plants, put the pots away and pull the weeds. Don't bother trying to do anything extra like new plants. That will make you feel much better immediately.

I think this time of year is good for weeds and they make great headway so a little effort now will save a lot of weeds later.

Also, I think self-employment is really hard for trying to have boundaries with household jobs. Maybe you could think about having more strict delineation? Like every fortnight I have a Friday for catching up on household chores/shopping for kids clothes/emptying that annoying cupboard.

I try and 1/2 hour to get on top of the weeds every day it's not raining, I'm usually going it around 8 at night, but there's a lot of satisfaction to be had in feeling I'm chipping away at it weeds already sprouting up again in the bits I've done though

Where I live we have a time bank so you can volunteer for stuff and get that time back with other people helping you out. See if there’s anything like that in your area on Facebook. You can piggyback if with stuff you’re already doing for example collect a child from school and take them to the activity with your kids. Walk a dog along with yours type stuff. Then people who like gardening volunteer to help you out. You can normally get free plants on Facebook etc or just replace with a couple of troughs and let kids grow peas up a bamboo tripod. Solar lights on strings and it’s a feature.

Can you set challenges for the kids? Fill this bag with weeds and they get a treat, while you get some jobs nearby?
not ideal for every job, but maybe a start.

I think sometimes you just have to accept it.

Sometimes you have to turn a blind eye.
My house is often messy, I do what l can but l can't do it all. That will have to do.
When teenagers have moved out and I'm retired, that's when l expect to have a tidy home, until then hey ho.

Yes I feel your pain. A seemingly never ending to do list of jobs which gets longer by the day. Trying to garden today with constant interruptions from the dc. Neither productive or enjoyable! I really want to be relaxing with the paper.

There's more labour saving devices than ever, but with everyone working there's still no time.

It’s a bit regimented but I “timetable” stuff as otherwise work and kids take over everything. So I schedule some time for cleaning, gardening etc and then I do what I can in that slot. Doing it by time not task works better for me and it’s surprising what you can achieve in a couple of hours a week if you are consistent in doing it.

Kids weren't here yday - off doing activities so haven't managed to get them to help as yet
I did spend some time clearing up a bit (not the weeding) and am going to try and price up how much the replacement plants would cost
it's just depressing really

Can you do some gardening for 15-30 minutes at the evening time?

If you’re doing the basics you’re doing better than me. I’m a GP and totally ground down by the stress of the job right now to the point that I’m struggling to do much outside of dragging myself to work. I think doing just the basics is ok! But if you’re self-employed you may be able to rearrange your time better to work for you. Depending o your work to some extent. Maybe try to plan in one day a fortnight where you’re free to tackle household stuff or 3 hours a week when the kids are at school and you won’t be interrupted and feel fresh after a good night’s sleep. If you need to make that up one evening a week after the kids have gone to bed maybe that’s ok?

I feel overwhelmed and fed up with everything too. Life just feels generally shit in the U.K. these days and you’re not alone. Post-pandemic U.K. isn’t a fun place to be.

Instead of buying expensive plants why don't you buy some summer bedding plants? At morrisons last week there was a pack of 12 lobelia plugs for £2 - lobelia are pretty and flower for ages so you won't have to worry about plants again for ages. I have loads of planters in my garden with a mix of spring and summer flowering bulbs just added some lobelia to the spring pots now that they have died back.... I'm a lazy gardener so bulbs work well and don't have to be expensive. Get your children to grow sunflowers from seed.

I'm pretty good at DIY now as I taught myself using books and the Internet. I'm not going to do massive plumbing or electrical jobs but I can fill holes, decorate, build furniture, change light fittings, replace taps, hang shelves etc - jobs needed doing so I found out how to do them. Start small - it is amazing how good it feels to 'fix' something.

@Kyliealwayshadthebestdisco - first of all OMG thankyou for all your work as a GP - you are all so undervalued and what you do is amazing. I actually had an appt this morning and was blown away by how brilliant some of the people who work for the NHS are - I know the institution needs a lot of fixing but still - thank you for all you do.

Second of all, your nickname is on point - I found a banger last week from 2018 that I and I think it might genuinely end up being one the songs I request at my funeral !!

Finally thanks for your honesty - -I agree that there seems to be a big feeling of MEH at the moment - I am trying to focus on the positives and count my blessing

@SleepingisanArt you are right - i need to start small and enjoy my smaller wins.

I'm glad you are already feeling more positive, fingers crossed it continues!

I think that you do have to accept to a degree that there will always be something that needs doing. However, if you can try just fitting in 10-15 minute chunks on things, that should help? Eg 15 minutes could see a lot of weeds pulled, which would instantly look better.

My house is similar, but we currently have an exchange student staying & largely cleared the 2 bank holiday weekends, with DH doing DIY & I cleaning & tidying. It's amazing how much better it is! And it is easier to keep up now it is tidy. We always have big tidies pre-visitors, although it's a radical step to take if you don't need to 🤣

About the plants- get the perennial ones that can survive frost as well.
Spring bulbs, you can grow lots of plants from seeds as well.