Stress makes me manically clean and declutter

[rattanrat]

I am under a lot of stress at this time. I am exhausted and have worked a lot of hours this week but I get a real pull to start pulling my hours apart and clean everything, not just a small wipe over but as in pulling everything out of cupboards and drawers, cleaning each room from top to bottom, it's intense.

I know why I do it as I was a child who grew up with abusive parents and when upset I would clean and tidy and then tidy up the smashed items or blood splattered areas.

I've had counselling, I've spent a lot of time implementing new ways to cope with stress but it's like I can't help but go almost manic.

I then feel cleansed and more able to manage my stress. I guess I wanted to see if anyone else does this too.

I’m afraid I can relate to what you experience. I find it hugely embarrassing and shameful.

Same here. I’m a compulsive tidier anyway but I get more compulsive and manic when stressed. More in-depth tidying and throwing everything away!
I have generalised anxiety but nothing traumatic in childhood. Lived an idyllic life but always have a penchant for a tidy!

I clean because when things are stressing me out it usually things I can’t control, but I can control my house so I clean it it’s my coping mechanisms.

I do this too but I don't feel bad about it. I just understand that that's how I am.

I also have to say I had a happy childhood, so it’s nothing to do with that, cleaning clears my mind and makes me feel In control .

I do this - it's an outlet for adrenaline.

I don't see it an an unhealthy or unhelpful coping mechanism, as long as it doesn't become obsessive tbh.

Hi, I didn’t have an abusive childhood but I was raised by a single mum and I had an absent, alcoholic father. At times it was very stressful. I also suspect I have ADHD. I do the same obsessive cleaning and decluttering. It calms and balances me, I think. Maybe in the same way the people who run find? I can definitely manage my stress better if my house is clean, organised and cosy.

I’ve had a super stressful week so today I pulled one of my DC’s bedrooms apart and deep cleaned / organised it (with consent, he’s 16). It looks amazing and he was delighted when he got home. He starts his GCSEs on Monday and says it’s made his brain feel less busy.

I’m lucky enough to be on annual leave next week. Guess what I have planned……!

As long as it’s not taking over your life / completely exhausting you, then I don’t necessarily see it as a bad thing. Cheaper than a gym membership 🤷‍♀️

I do this too. I also become fixated on decorating and how marked the walls are, want to fill cracks etc, feel dissatisfied with the whole house. Like PPs I think it's trying to have control over something when other things feel out of control. When I'm in this state I always feel like when I've got the house sorted I will be able to relax, I'll just do this one last thing, but that never happens, there's always something else I'll spot or think of to clean or sort out.

For me it's not stress, but feeling miserable. I take my misery out on the mess and dirt in my house. Nothing like giving the kitchen and bathroom floors a really good scrub to dispel the hump. Unfortunately, I'm mostly a happy person, and that is reflected in the state of my house.......

On a day to day basis I can be quite controlling about how I clean and tidy, I have little schedules for doing certain tasks and if I haven't done them I can feel anxious.

I hold down a pressured job, raise my children and have a happy and loving marriage as well as great friends. It's a joke amongst everyone that my house is always immaculate.

I just dislike what feels like a compulsion to pull everything apart and clean it. I also will be ruthless with decluttering and I like minimalism as ur helps me not be overstimulated.

I am tired today and could have relaxed when I got home from work but instead I was cleaning the high kitchen cupboards, washing walls, scrubbing skirting boards, I filled several bin liners with charity items even though I did a big declutter a few months ago.

It's reassuring others use it as a way to feel calm and in control. I just feel like I'm damaged from childhood despite counselling.

I love cleaning as a general.
BUT I definitely go in to a crazy cleaning frenzy when I feel out of control in some areas of my life. Especially if I've just had argument with DH or anything like that. I think it's a way to take some control over something and it's something I do well 🤷🏽‍♀️

I know why I do it as I was a child who grew up with abusive parents and when upset I would clean and tidy and then tidy up the smashed items or blood splattered areas.

You're absolutely right in your analysis. Your subconscious mind devised this coping strategy in your childhood as a way of imposing order and control on a chaotic situation and it's continuing this behaviour now, because it know no better way - it doesn't know that it's OK to stop, that you are an adult with choices.

An adult doesn't have to please anyone, doesn't have to answer to anyone, an adult can say "fuck the dirt and dust, I'm going to sleep because that's more valuable to me right now" and that's what your subconscious needs to learn now.