I must give off bad vibes

[poppydumpling]

Okay so this is a strange post but I'm honestly starting to feel really insecure about myself. I started new employment about 5 mths ago. I have always worked in customer services and I've always been told how friendly/ approachable I am in these roles. I (thought) I was great with people and never thought twice about it. Until I have started this new job ( different sector) people seem to be really dismissive of me and make me feel so inferior to them. I'm in a entry level job and I'm not sure if this is why or whether I'm a secret weirdo and people find me odd. I always try to be friendly with people but it doesn't seem to land well for example today I held a door open for someone and rather than just saying thank you or even just a nod, they ignored me and went through the other side of the double door. I was mortified.

Another example would be asking someone else if they enjoyed the long weekend and they just simply answered "yes" and continued on making a coffee. Am
I being to weird? I hate being made to feel like I'm some lower class citizen.

It's making me feel really uncomfortable and unliked especially because I came from a job that I loved and was really well thought off.

Period is due so I'm feeling tearful today and wallowing in self pity- tell me to pull myself together

Don't worry, you are definitely not the weird one, their behaviour is weird. Which sector are you in?

The door thing is just lack of manners. The not wanting to talk about their weekend could just be someone who can’t be arsed getting into a conversation or feels they’ve nothing interesting to say.

it’s them op - not you.

Are you in an entry level job at a place that cares about hierarchy and you're talking to people "above you" as though they're normal humans not god like creatures?

But honestly OP it doesn't sound like it's you. Do you have a manager? Are you due a review? Could you mention that you feel like you're struggling to fit in and give some examples, they might have more insight

Please don’t think you’re doing something wrong. It sounds as if you’re a really kind and considerate person but if other people are having a bad day, you might get a rude response. Just keep on being yourself and other people will appreciate it.

Maybe I'm just being too sensitive. I just don't really like uncomfortable situations. I won't stop being friendly, I'm not changing who I am but my goodness it's strange alright

Maybe that's what it is. It's in a school !

That'll be it. A friend of mine was (emphasise the 'was') a trainee TA. The staff at the school she worked at treated her like the'd scraped her off the bottom of their shoe. She ended up being treated so appallingly, and made to feel so useless, she felt she had no choice but to resign.

@tailinthejam that's awful your friend felt she had to leave. isn't it strange behaviour though? I mean I'm not being rude but it's not like being a teacher is an overly great job in terms of salary or anything so I don't really understand the attitude

Are you in an entry level job at a place that cares about hierarchy and you're talking to people "above you" as though they're normal humans not god like creatures?
😁Oh those hierarchy loving people vacuous simpletons.
Schools are often like this as are libraries, the NHS, care sector, charities etc.

It's funny @poppydumpling I graduated from University with a first and went on to do two masters degrees in separate fields, which I completed with distinction. I have been a successful professional for some time and very confident in my not so hierarchical sector (tech) where I am respected and well liked. But my goodness, when I'm volunteering at a local facility, which is full of not that educated people who feel they've made it for being in that environment, I tend to get ignored, talked down to and excluded. It's fascinating, but some people believe job hierarchies are very serious business and attach actual value to such nonsense. I have always tended to be respectful but not deferential to everyone and anyone. Some can't take this 😆.

Hi OP I followed your thread previously but never wrote. I was just wondering how are things now? Did it improve? I remember reading your thread and thinking how awful they sound. Also so sorry for resurrection of an old thread!