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Original poster

When to tell friends I'm pregnant (wedding related)

16 replies

Lamped · 10/05/2023 12:58

I'm going to the wedding of a very good friend in a few weeks and I'll be about 12 weeks pregnant with DC3. It's my third so I don't expect anyone to be particularly surprised or interested but equally I don't want to be telling people at her wedding because I think it's just bad manners to share big news like that on someone else's day.

I could tell this group of friends a week or two before but it'd have to be a proper WhatsApp text announcement as I'm travelling to where they all live for the wedding and I don't think I'll get chance to see them in person before the wedding.

Or I could just not mention it but I think it'd be fairly obvious I wasn't drinking (although I will have my existing children with me so could say I don't drink when I'm with them??).

Would it be really weird to tell everyone via text a week before the wedding? I'm definitely overthinking this! I wonder if Harry had this stress before Eugenie's wedding?!

OP posts:
LIZS · 10/05/2023 13:00

Wait until afterwards

StaySpicy · 10/05/2023 13:01

Just tell them beforehand via WhatsApp. I did that with most of my friends (told closest few in phone calls). Then you won't have to tiptoe around the truth if you're not drinking. Just get it out in the open.

Ilovetea42 · 10/05/2023 13:03

I'd make an excuse for not drinking and let them have their moment and then tell everyone by text afterwards.

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thaegumathteth · 10/05/2023 13:06

In similar situation I didn't say anything until a couple of weeks after the wedding

DappledThings · 10/05/2023 13:06

Just answer honestly if anyone asked why you aren't drinking, don't mention it if they don't.

I've been at weddings where someone else was in that position and where I've been. You don't have to announce it, you can just be reactive if asked. Trying to hide it or announcing beforehand likely to both me making it a bigger deal if you don't want it to be.

CindersAgain · 10/05/2023 13:07

I’d text or WhatsApp people. No one will care that much ☺️

CindersAgain · 10/05/2023 13:07

In advance, I mean.

TallulahBetty · 10/05/2023 13:09

DappledThings · 10/05/2023 13:06

Just answer honestly if anyone asked why you aren't drinking, don't mention it if they don't.

I've been at weddings where someone else was in that position and where I've been. You don't have to announce it, you can just be reactive if asked. Trying to hide it or announcing beforehand likely to both me making it a bigger deal if you don't want it to be.

This. No need for a big announcement at someone else's wedding, but equally, you shouldn't have to lie if someone asks.

Putple · 10/05/2023 13:12

I would wait until after the wedding to tell people.
I announced my pregnancy to my friends at 10 weeks , and I miscarried at 12 weeks :(
Then I had to tell everyone what happened.

I had 2 children already and I guess I just thought everything would be ok.

Fingers crossed for your pregnancy :) but I would just wait.

Doggydarling · 10/05/2023 13:22

Do people actually comment if someone isn't drinking alcohol at a wedding? I used to drink plenty years ago but as I got older I lost interest in it but I don't remember anyone ever commenting or indeed noticing. Regarding your pregnancy, I'd say nothing and if anyone queries you not sculling back pints and shots just shrug and tell them you had a skin full the day before!!!

TallulahBetty · 10/05/2023 13:26

Doggydarling · 10/05/2023 13:22

Do people actually comment if someone isn't drinking alcohol at a wedding? I used to drink plenty years ago but as I got older I lost interest in it but I don't remember anyone ever commenting or indeed noticing. Regarding your pregnancy, I'd say nothing and if anyone queries you not sculling back pints and shots just shrug and tell them you had a skin full the day before!!!

God, this too. Non-drinking for whatever reason is so popular now.

Piony · 10/05/2023 13:31

Just deflect any questions and tell them a few weeks later. You don't need an elaborate lie, just be choosing not to drink today. If you must make up an excuse, maybe you're driving somewhere later.

Quitelikeacatslife · 10/05/2023 13:31

I went to a wedding when pregnant but too early to tell anyone , I didn't announce I wasn't drinking, had wine in my glass , got tonic water from bar and no one noticed .

carly2803 · 10/05/2023 14:13

"i dont drink" is a good reason

I would not say anything at the wedding, or before - wait till 2ish weeks after

UndercoverCop · 10/05/2023 14:19

'DH and I take it in turns at events with DC , it's his turn today, it's easier if one of us doesn't have a hang over!"

Original poster
Lamped · 10/05/2023 14:21

carly2803 · 10/05/2023 14:13

"i dont drink" is a good reason

I would not say anything at the wedding, or before - wait till 2ish weeks after

But I do drink and all my friends know this! The driving excuse won't work as I'll have DH with me who genuinely doesn't drink so he's always designated driver!

Reading all the responses I think I'll tell my closest friends individually before the day and I'm sure no one else would notice or ask. And if they did ask and I said yes then it wouldn't be a big deal.

I've had two missed miscarriages before though so I'll hold this thought until after my scan (which is before the wedding).

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