How to approach Dsis about DNs behaviour.

[Fifi00]

I have DN for sleepovers quite often she's quite energetic but normally not too much problems. My DD in comparison is quite low energy and relaxed so its a nice contrast sometimes. DD is a year younger. I had DN and took them to KFC her behaviour was shocking. She was shouting in the middle of KFC is your ass clean over and over.
She started saying to an employee wipe wipe as they washed a table. I told her off then apologised to the worker. A woman came in with a zimmer frame then DN started laughing, she's 11 so not a small child. My DD was really embarrassed. She then told a bald man she liked his hair.

I had to remove her from KFC and take them home we went to the park I'm just wondering how I should approach this , my dsis can shout at her for tiny things. I'm worrying something is going on with her and how to support her.

Did you talk to DN about her behaviour yourself?

Yes I told her but she kept on at it. Obviously I'm not as comfortable correcting her behaviour as I am with my own child.

It all sounds very attention seeking to me. Next time she comes, I wouldn’t go out anywhere - and when she asks why, tell her and use the opportunity to set some ground rules. I think you do need to feel able to correct her if you’re in the position of being the adult in charge.

Is she in high school?
I would have removed her from KFC after the first few comments to be honest and asked her what she thought she was playing at! There would have been no trip to the park either.
Unless you are going to drip feed about SEN one of the adults in her life needs to firmly correct her behaviour.
What are your worries about your sister shouting at her?

I'd your sister shouts at her for tiny things do you think your DN might have been getting too carried away with the freedom of not being picked at?

Obviously her behaviour was completely unacceptable and you removed her from the situation which was the right thing to do. Sometimes kids can whip themselves up into a frenzy and just relocating them can help.

Maybe speak to DN and tell her that if she behaves like that again you won't be able to have her for sleepovers. I certainly wouldn't be welcoming that behaviour back.

The "is your ass clean" is from a tiktok which at that age I wouldn't allow free access too. My DS is the same age and came home from a friend's repeating it over and over. As at 10 who doesn't love toilet humour?

But all the things she was saying sound like memes or tiktoks which make me wonder if she is being allowed free access to the app/Internet.

So maybe that would be something to talk to your DS about, she may not realise the amount of truly awful things on tiktok and see it more as a "kids thing" which it so so isn't

"Obviously I'm not as comfortable correcting her behaviour as I am with my own child."

Well she's your niece and you were in charge of her so get her told! So rude.

I wouldn't be taking her anywhere until she can have some manners and I'd tell her exactly why.

I don't think you should take charge of a child you're not willing to correct, to be honest.

I'd talk to your sister about it and agree an approach you should take if it happens again. If your sister just thinks that behaviour is fine, don't take niece out again.

On the other hand, all kids are silly and play up sometimes. Next time explain she's being rude and you'll go home if she continues.