Adult child birthdays when they live at home

[Humanwoman]

In our house for birthdays when the dc were growing up we have always done presents usually about 5 and a big present budget allowing. Then it was a small party or special dinner. Nowadays its me ordering their favourite takeaway and i make or buy a cake.

Now my dc are growing up but not showing any signs of wanting to arrange their own celebrations, only one of them drinks and that's only occasionally. so it's not like they would be out on the town with their friends.

When do you scale it down to a present a card and them sorting out any celebrations that they might want to do. Or am i just the worst person for even thinking of it? Should I just carry on sorting birthdays for them ad infinitum.

Mine are 21 & 23 - the 23 year old doesn't live with me though.

The amount of presents depends on what they've asked for, if I've seen anything I think they'll like etc - budget is usually around £50-75 irrespective of the amount of gifts.

Cake on standard birthdays is shop bought so M&S/Asda/Tesco/whatever shop I've been in or near around their birthday. Special birthdays & DD1s actual birthdays get a proper cake made by the cake lady.

What they do with their friends/boyfriends to celebrate has no bearing on what I do for their birthdays, which is a good thing because DD1s boyfriends family don't do birthdays so if I just stopped or cut back expecting him to take over she'd not get any sort of celebration.

20s I'd ask if they have made plans or would like a nice dinner at home (or out at a restaurant). One decent present.