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Original poster

I have take my first antidepressant today

34 replies

Kellioo · 09/05/2023 21:53

Can't help feeling a bit crap about it. It's for anxiety rather than depression, I can't stop having panic attacks and so on edge all the time, averaging 2 hours sleep a night. I've spent 4 weeks trying to get myself right but it's not working. I just want to breathe bloody normally.

I've had a challenging 10 years, but it's just come out of nowhere, perhaps 10 years worth off stuff, which just got tipped over by something quite minor.

The doctor has warned me I could feel worse before better, which is terrifying me. I don't think I can cope with feeling worse.

This isn't somewhere I ever thought I'd be. I'm the one who holds it all together and keeps everyone going usually.

OP posts:
Leafytrees · 09/05/2023 21:57

Would you use crutches if you broke a leg? It's not dissimilar...

Nuffaluff · 09/05/2023 22:01

You have done the right thing. You’ll be okay.
I had some anxiety and couldn’t sleep like you and am on a low dose of anti-depressants.
I had a really good sleep the first night I took them and ever since.
At first they made me feel a little spaced out, kind of heavy around my forehead but that soon settled down.
I tried to come off them recently but it was too soon as I have too much going on at the moment.
It’s no big deal- lots of people need them at some point in their lives.

anniewaitsforthelasttime · 09/05/2023 22:01

I put them off for far too long. Same as you, more anxiety than depression. Panic attacks and crazy blood pressure. Best thing I ever did. It did take a bit of time to settle (sertraline) but once it did it put me on an even keel. Good luck x

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General health
otherwayup · 09/05/2023 22:03

My lovely dd has got her life back thanks to anti depressants. She was so consumed with anxiety and the fear of having a panic attack that she barely left the house.
She's now working, out every night socialising and living again.

As the pp said, you wouldn't hesitate to take something for your physical health Flowers

Original poster
Kellioo · 09/05/2023 22:05

Thank you for the replies, I really appreciate it. It's good to hear other experiences too.

I've felt a bit funny since I took it, but thought it was probably just in my head, maybe not then. Hopefully it will all settle down quickly.

OP posts:
thesandwich · 09/05/2023 22:06

Hang on in there. It can take a little while, but the difference is transforming.

Original poster
Kellioo · 09/05/2023 22:06

@otherwayup yes it's the fear of having one that becomes all consuming and then inevitably leads to one.

OP posts:
rootsandwings89 · 09/05/2023 22:08

It's a big step, so well done.

You'll be fine, please see it for what it is - something that will help you. I've taken anti-depressants after having PND following both my childrens births. The first time I delayed taking them, when I did I felt so much better within days and wished I started taking them sooner.

I think of them as little helpers to get you back on your feet. Once you've worked out what your triggers are and methods to deal with it, you can gradually come off them again.

Look after yourself x

OfcourseitsaNC · 09/05/2023 22:12

I want to say well done.

I get why you're feeling crap about it, as society has painted a picture that anti depressants are somehow wrong.

They're not. They're really not. You need to get the chemicals in your brain on a more even keel and these tablets will help that to happen.

Stick with it, even if it does get worse for a bit. It'll get better soon after.

All the best.

QueefQueen80s · 09/05/2023 22:16

You'd be surprised how many people take them nowadays. There is zero shame in it. I really hope they help Flowers

Original poster
Kellioo · 09/05/2023 22:27

I've started exercising and counselling through work, trying to look at the whole picture.

Thank you for all your kind words, it's helping it all feel less terrifying.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 09/05/2023 22:30

Good luck OP. I wish I had started taking anti depressants many years ago. If I had realised my anxiety wasn’t what other people experienced then my life with young kids could have been so much better. On fluoxetine. It’s been a life saver.

snoozingbaby1476 · 09/05/2023 22:41

Well done on seeking help. I totally understand how you feel and it feels massive but you will soon feel better and be so glad you've put all these things in place. One step at a time Op and you will be fine x

MeinKraft · 09/05/2023 22:44

If you take it before you go to bed for the first week or two you can swerve the worst of the side effects. Not everyone feels worse before they feel better, I didn't, do you might be ok. Well done for getting help Flowers

ChopperC110P · 09/05/2023 22:49

Well done starting them. I have taken them for over a decade, and I have as needed ones for panic attacks. There is no shame in it and I am now in a place where I feel I have some control over my wayward mind. It’s really liberating and comforting. You will get here too. Even if this one medication isn’t the right one for you, keep trying different ones. I’m on my 8th combination….so it is often a bit of hit or miss until you get the right medication at the right dosage.

Pseudonamed · 09/05/2023 23:17

Well done and best of luck with them. I started on some a few weeks ago and already notice the difference.

Original poster
Kellioo · 10/05/2023 01:27

Thank you and for all the positive stories. I will try the tip of taking them at night.

OP posts:
BellsShellsFishBugs · 10/05/2023 02:11

Kellioo · 10/05/2023 01:27

Thank you and for all the positive stories. I will try the tip of taking them at night.

Depends which one you are taking. Some antidepressants are "sedating" and should be taken at night and will help you sleep and some are "activating" which you should definitely take in the morning or will keep you awake.

Original poster
Kellioo · 10/05/2023 04:07

Citalopram

OP posts:
sykadelic · 10/05/2023 04:11

I've been on sertraline for around 6 years (just after I had my son). I developed terrible post-partum anxiety and I fought starting meds so so hard. I was worried for all sorts of reasons (kind of funny when you think the whole point was I was anxious about being anxious lol), but they were an absolute savior and I wish I'd started them sooner.

For safety's sake I won't mention dosage, but I've been on a lower dose, and a higher dose. When I felt that life was still too hard, I upped that dose. My doc thinks I should be able to wean myself off now so I've dropped to a lower dose and maybe now it's getting warmer I'll stop or skip a few days here and there... maybe.

I take reflux meds every day, so adding another tiny pill isn't the end of the world :)

I wish you the very very best!

BellsShellsFishBugs · 10/05/2023 05:15

Kellioo · 10/05/2023 04:07

Citalopram

I haven't had that one myself but I think it's a sedating one so you should take it at night to avoid daytime sleepiness, hopefully it'll help you get more than two hours of sleep.

Well done for going to your gp for help and taking your first one. Anxiety and panic attacks are exhausting, I hope you feel better soon

Sunnysunbun · 10/05/2023 05:20

I was in exactly the same position as you. I took them for two years and they helped me turn everything around. I’m still an anxious person but I can manage my rare panic attacks and I’m doing ok. You’re amazing OP and things will get better.

HeyMicky · 10/05/2023 05:55

I've shared this before on here, but my Dr uses a great analogy for Citalopram: imagine trying to climb over a wall. You can get your nose over but can't heave yourself up. Then someone comes along and puts a shoulder under your bum and gives you a boost. Then you can scrabble over on your own.

There's no need for shame - it's a chemical imbalance in your brain. As a PP said, it's amazing how many people take antidepressants of one kind or another. I hope you feel brighter soon

HappiestPenguin · 10/05/2023 06:01

You don’t mention your age. My anxiety and insomnia started early 40s and was related to needing HRT. GPS are quick to give anti depressants but I had to fight to get HRT. It took approx 7 days to work, I was shocked at the difference.

Original poster
Kellioo · 10/05/2023 06:49

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, it really helps reading them.

I like the analogy of being helped over the wall and yes its definitely become about the fear of having one, rather than the worry about anything else. Working on the roots of it all with the counsellor.

I'm mid 40's and did wonder if it was anything to do with the peri/menopause, which is perhaps stopping me being able to deal with things like I'd usually do.

OP posts: