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Original poster

Am I being over dramatic?

16 replies

Toofartoomuch · 09/05/2023 17:55

Please be brutally honest with me so I don't make a prat of myself. I go to a hobby with a friend and another woman who is a friend of my friend. All ok. A few days ago, we were all together at an event and friend asked me if I had booked to join an evening activity run by the hobby. I said no, I hadn't heard about it. Friend said she had seen it on FB but she knows I don't look at FB. She then tells me that her and her friend had booked them and their families on the event and had arranged to meet before etc. I felt a bit confused as to why I hadn't been considered as it was an event to do with the hobby. It wouldn't bother me in the least if they had arranged to do something as friends just the two of them IYSWIM. I'm definitely not the childish jealous type. The activity is one that needs a team too. I made light of it on the day but it's been playing on my mind.

Am I being pathetic?!

OP posts:

90stalgia · 09/05/2023 18:01

Does she normally tell you about events that are on Facebook - is that how you usually find out about them?

Original poster

Toofartoomuch · 09/05/2023 18:02

Normally she would see something like that and let me know if I hadn't mentioned it first.

OP posts:

90stalgia · 09/05/2023 18:08

Are you sure it wasn't just an oversight on her part?

Original poster

Toofartoomuch · 09/05/2023 18:10

Probably was an oversight. I felt it was a strange question to ask if I had booked it. It's a team event so why would I have booked it on my own and not checked with them if they wanted to join me?

OP posts:

90stalgia · 09/05/2023 18:14

Is it too late now to join their team?

Original poster

Toofartoomuch · 09/05/2023 18:18

Probably not too late but I'm concerned that they just wanted to do this event on their own and if I book it I might be treading on their toes. I just can't think of an explanation as to why she didn't mention it to me. We go together each week and sit together. Then after it's all organised, why ask me if I had booked it myself when I clearly knew nothing about it.

OP posts:

Swishhh · 09/05/2023 18:18

I don’t think you are being over dramatic but i think it may be time to start using Facebook as it is handy for things like this.

tailinthejam · 09/05/2023 18:19

Does this hobby group have a chair or a committee? Please point out to them that not everyone has social media, so please can they let all members know by other means, email or newsletters for instance.

A club I belong to wanted to send everything out by whatsapp, instagram and facebook. I am on the committee, so asked whether all members had access to those and it turned out they don't, so info is now emailed to all members.

Original poster

Toofartoomuch · 09/05/2023 18:19

Yes I agree I need to check it. I also don't want to make it her job to let me know when there are events happening. It's not her responsibility.

OP posts:

Original poster

Toofartoomuch · 09/05/2023 18:21

Good point @tailinthejam. I will check if it was emailed out.

OP posts:

Original poster

Toofartoomuch · 09/05/2023 18:25

I want to bring it up but don't know how to say it so that I don't come across as needy.

OP posts:

90stalgia · 09/05/2023 18:25

Toofartoomuch · 09/05/2023 18:18

If she was trying to avoid you being part of it, surely she wouldn't have mentioned it at all. I think she missed mentioning it to you at the time and possibly thought by the time she did, someone else might have told you or invited you on their team.

Somanycats · 09/05/2023 18:28

Tbh I'm the friend who informs technophobe friend about group events in a group we both go to and it makes me really cross. She is more than capable of doing this but doesn't want the hassle. I wish I had the front to just stop telling her and let her feel her own consequences.

PollyPeptide · 09/05/2023 18:32

If you can still join their team, isn't she telling you now? Maybe they were together and saw ut s arranged everything there and then because they were booking larger numbers. And then she told you about it. If she didn't want you to go, she'd not have told you til after the event.
Just because she saw it on FB, doesn't mean that she'd think it was only on FB. And when you're used to everyone using FB, it can easily slip your mind that someone doesn't.
Don't make an issue out of it. Just thank her for pointing it out and say how disappointed you'd have been to have missed it. That'll give her a little jab to maybe let her know that you like to be included.
I'm like you and would think they'd left me out deliberately and would be hurt. But you have to give yourself a kick sometimes that that's not true and things can happen in a haphazard and disorganised way. And here she wouldn't have mentioned it if she didn't want you to go.

Original poster

Toofartoomuch · 09/05/2023 18:34

@Somanycats I'm not a technophobe at all. I just don't use FB and I work full time and have other stuff going on too at the moment so just missed it.

OP posts:

Original poster

Toofartoomuch · 09/05/2023 18:37

@PollyPeptide thanks for your advice. It makes a lot of sense. I still don't get why they organised all that between them and didn't think to mention it. My friend is not the sort to forget. Also it felt so weird when she asked me if I'd booked. I so clearly wouldn't have booked it on my own due to the nature of the event.

OP posts:

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