How to learn to love yourself? What little things did you do. Tomorrow is a new day for a new me!

[HowToLearnToLoveMyself]

I see all these body positive people. Always looking lovely in what they wear. Confident etc etc

Im also one to encourage people to be positive and look at the bigger picture.

BUT for me. I hate myself. Really hate myself! Ive gone to a size 16 at 5ft 3.
I always just wear leggings and baggy top which i rotate the same 4. Even in last year's heatwave
I have a saggy lower belly but also getting 'back fat'

My friend always sends links to lovely clothes to try to help me but im scared of change i guess?

I have bad thread veins on my legs and some varicose so often tighter fitting clothes like jeans irritate me, but i think i dont give them a chance.

I cant help but put myself down. Dh gets annoyed because i never treat myself to anything, unless its fallen apart. He always says he loves me whether im a size 6 or a 26.

What little tips do you have.

I've downloaded my fitness pal for food recording.
And tomorrow im going to view the gym with the aim to start end of week ( need to get a sports bra etc first) . But im terrified!
I go away August and I don't want to feel like a weeble. I want to feel a bit slimmer as its bad enough i worry about my legs in the swim suits and how they look.

I start from a point of saying I don't care what anyone else thinks. I've never been fashionable or had the ideal body, so why should I worry about these? Hide your body if you want to, but don't do it for soneobe else's sake. I don't wear tight clothes for lots of reasons, but that's fine. Apparently I have a good dress sense. This is news to me!

TLDR: don't compare to anyone else. It won't make you happy.

Have you watched the clothes haul videos on Rosie Henshaw youtube channel?

Can I recommend Micheal Moseley's Just One Thing? There's a podcast and a book out. Little things to incorporate into daily life: early morning walk/stand on one leg for 30 seconds each day/ press ups/drink water first thing and at each meal/surround yourself with greenery/eat dark chocolate/sing/dance/cold showers. That sort of thing - he speaks to experts on each subject.All easy and fun, with tangible health benefits.
The daily cold shower has been a big benefit to me for hot flushes and anxiety- but perhaps not the best one to start with 😂 Though apparently a 15 min blast cold water is every bit as effective as Wim Hof style ice baths, which is a relief!

I meant 15 seconds, sorry! 😂

Thank you. Ill look at those suggestions.

15 min! I did panic then. Haha.

I googled a home excercise routine for beginners which looks OK.

I definitely need to drink more water. I rarely drink water. It's shocking. Less tea! And tea with 1 sugar not 2/3. (i know should be 0 but one thing a time)

I was going to say small consistent things.

Week one - walk for 20 minutes every day, apply body lotion and foot cream every day

Week two - walk for 30 mins every day, foot cream, body lotion, apply a face mask and hair mask once a week

Build up and add on small changes.

I'm 5ft and size 16 top and 14 bottom. I know however I have great boobs. I was told when I was younger, that for my body type I do well with V necks, and wrap over dresses. I look terrible in a round neck and buggy clothes hang from boobs and make me look bigger.
Focus on the bits of you, you like. I have found the fit of Evans to be very good when I tried them recently. I suit dark colours but often wear yellows too, because I love it.

I have started back on a diet too but mainly for health reasons rather than not liking myself. I have found weight lifting is better for me than cardio and much more fun.

I was just coming on to recommend Michael Mosley but I see someone has beaten me to it! Well worth a listen.

also, pick a colour and whenever you see it say something positive to yourself. Anything so long as it’s positive. Maybe not tooo common a colour, but one you’ll see several times a day.

Thanks everyone.

Im just having breakfast and a cuppa (1 sugar) and braving it up to take a wonder to view the closest gym. There's 2 locally, this one will fit around school runs better but will be viewing both.

Next question. Im not a breakfast person, if anything id eat frosties or bagels.
Today I've had the last of the weetabix.
I like them museli and granola tbh.
Which would be better granola museli or weetabix..
And what's a nice one?

Have you considered eating something less traditionally English for breakfast? I quite often drink kefir. Or leftover soup. My daughter likes scrambled tofu which is lovely. Dh thinks we're weird and eats toast!

No practical advice OP but one thing that occurred to me reading your post was negative self-talk. I read something on here a couple of years ago and it really resonated with me, it was to ask yourself whether you would say the things you say to/about yourself in your head to/about someone else? It made me realise how horrible I was to myself and that if someone else was using that sort of language towards me I would feel bullied, I was basically bullying myself!

So I started paying attention to it and, when I caught myself starting to think that way about myself, I consciously stopped myself and made myself think something positive instead. It takes time and some concerted effort but gradually I found that negative, critical voice in my head got less and less and thinking positively about myself became the default. It still creeps back in sometimes when I'm a bit down but I know how to tackle it now and am generally a much happier, more positive person.

So much of weight loss/self care is linked to our mental health that I just thought it was worth mentioning. For me being less critical of myself has really helped me get (and stay) motivated to change the things I didn't like about myself/my life, everything is easier without all that negativity weighing me down.

I have just recently started a bit of a diet/lifestyle change. 3 weeks in, 6lb lost and I feel so much better already. Also using my fitness pal, it will probably automatically set your calories at 1200 per day, this was unattainable for me so I changed it to 1600 and have lost weight doing that like I say. I have still eaten burgers, chips, chocolate etc all within my daily allowance so don't think you need to starve yourself or not have treats that's really not the case. I make myself a 1ltr bottle of water or no added sugar squash in the morning and make sure I refill it again and it's all drunk by the end of the day. I have upped my steps but still find 10,000 hard to achieve but any kind of extra exercise is amazing.

A month ago I would have laughed if I knew I was here dishing out advice but honestly little changes can make a big difference. Good luck, I'm sure you will smash it!

Hi Op! I’m 5.4” and size 16/18 before I have my second baby I was a 14 and felt massive then! When I look in the mirror I never like what I see. I see these people who dress in nice clothes and I wish I could but I feel too self conscious. Your post really resonates with me, I have a few clothes post baby and only wear them, I’ve got a wardrobe full of clothes that don’t fit me anymore. I’m doing slimming world atm I’ve lot 8lb and I’m pleased but I need to lose alot more. Good luck xx

Visited 1 gym. Was ok very daunting i need to get my head around it all.

However i have just walked 6km. As decided to then walk to do some shopping and sort a few bits for work. Rather than take the car.

Lunch boiled eggs ( did them last night) with salad, 1 granary slice.

Have drank a Bottle of water ( that's more water than i have had in over a week)

Going to have a 10 min sit and MN. Then crack on with housework and prep something for tea.

Thank you. Yes the self talk thing. I put myself down all the time. About everything!
And no i would never say it about others.

I also measured my waist and thighs. And wilo re do in a month's time. ( im one of those who need to see written results.)

My walk was 444 calories burned.
My fitness pal is set at 1200 cals. I can probably do this but if it goes over by 200 im not worried as previously consumed 2500 easily!

Evenings is my worst for snacking especially as dh does but hes a slim build. So im going to make fruit and jelly.
Don't want to feel left out 😂

Regular and proper sleep is valuable for me. No late nights for tv programmes, spent a bit extra on a mattress, for example.