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Original poster

Michael J Fox's life philosophy: so very true?

15 replies

Lentilweaver · 07/05/2023 19:59

Reading about Michael J Fox's debilitating pain from Parkinson's disease in the Times, and his way to deal with it. " It hurts a lot. But what you learn is nobody gives a shit. It's just life. It doesn't matter. You suck it up and you move on. And there might be a story to tell in it. But only that. There's no chit you can present to a window for a refund."

I am going through some tough times at the moment- though nothing like poor Michael- and it is somehow kind of liberating to think that nobody really cares- except my mum and sis- and all I can do is suck it up and move on.

I am not sure if I have expressed this properly!

OP posts:
Chatillon · 07/05/2023 20:03

The people who cared most for me were doctors and nurses in the NHS. It is more than just a job for them.

Original poster
Lentilweaver · 07/05/2023 20:16

That's good to hear, especially as I can't get near my GP practice at the moment!

I probably haven't explained this well. I think I meant that in certain times, the only thing to do is keep going and not look for understanding from others.

OP posts:
Cheezecake · 08/05/2023 04:58

That Buffy episode where she could hear everyone's thoughts resonated for me. To paraphrase, "no-one gives a damn about your pain as they are too busy thinking of their own".

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General health
Bonkersworknonsense · 08/05/2023 05:26

I think it’s a good point. I suffered a lot more wondering why no one cared than I do once I have up. I take care of me now, and anyone else giving a shit is a bonus.

ZoraMipha · 08/05/2023 05:32

I think it's quite a sad way to see things, although I can understand why he feels it and how it might bring some sort of comfort.

I would hope that there will always be someone who gives a shit about me, though, and I bet there are people who give a shit about him, whatever he says.

minkymini · 08/05/2023 05:45

I have found if it's not happening to them people don't give a shit . People in general are self centred. That is why I'm selective about who I interact with and what I share .

FlowersFlowersEverywhere · 08/05/2023 05:59

I have a chronic health condition that means I’m in pain every day. But I refuse to let it stop me. I take painkillers, I get on and do the stuff I need to and the stuff I love. You get on with it because you have to, but also you get one life (as far as I know) and it’s important to make the most of it. I don’t think people don’t care, it is just that everyone has their own stuff going on. And actually, just getting on with it helps me way more than a bunch of people drowsing round being sympathetic ever would.

Original poster
Lentilweaver · 08/05/2023 10:13

FlowersFlowersEverywhere · 08/05/2023 05:59

I have a chronic health condition that means I’m in pain every day. But I refuse to let it stop me. I take painkillers, I get on and do the stuff I need to and the stuff I love. You get on with it because you have to, but also you get one life (as far as I know) and it’s important to make the most of it. I don’t think people don’t care, it is just that everyone has their own stuff going on. And actually, just getting on with it helps me way more than a bunch of people drowsing round being sympathetic ever would.

Yes, this is kind of what I mean. Make the most of your one life. I really hope your condition gets better.

OP posts:
ManonDe · 08/05/2023 10:22

I like that philosophy.

I am someone who has had alot of therapy in the past due to things that have happened in my life. I have found the constant recalling of things and dwelling on them have actually harmed me and made me stuck. I was reading about someone who has suffered more tragedies than I could ever imagine and he said 'I just get on with life. Thank God i am here and I keep walking on'. For me that was profound. It has literally changed my perspective about my own life. Whenever I find myself dwelling on past pain (although it's a bit hit or miss sometimes) I tell myself 'everyone suffers. You are still here. Crack on'. I know this will not be of use to everyone but for me it has changed me completely. I feel liberated as the OP says.

Thanks to everyone who has pain of any sort.

minkymini · 08/05/2023 10:39

ManonDe · 08/05/2023 10:22

I like that philosophy.

I am someone who has had alot of therapy in the past due to things that have happened in my life. I have found the constant recalling of things and dwelling on them have actually harmed me and made me stuck. I was reading about someone who has suffered more tragedies than I could ever imagine and he said 'I just get on with life. Thank God i am here and I keep walking on'. For me that was profound. It has literally changed my perspective about my own life. Whenever I find myself dwelling on past pain (although it's a bit hit or miss sometimes) I tell myself 'everyone suffers. You are still here. Crack on'. I know this will not be of use to everyone but for me it has changed me completely. I feel liberated as the OP says.

Thanks to everyone who has pain of any sort.

Same here . I can see that some of the trauma in my life was caused by me not listening to my instincts and acting on them and not being ruthless enough with certain people in cutting them out of my life .

Other nasty that have happened to me are things that have been totally out of my control so I don't dwell so much on those aspects.

Zippedydoo123 · 08/05/2023 10:55

minkymini · 08/05/2023 05:45

I have found if it's not happening to them people don't give a shit . People in general are self centred. That is why I'm selective about who I interact with and what I share .

A very valid point.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 08/05/2023 11:00

Shit happens. Can you change it? No. Is it worth beating yourself up about/continually focusing upon how awful and unfair it is, or do you get on with trying to get the most out of your life that you can?

Original poster
Lentilweaver · 08/05/2023 11:08

Zippedydoo123 · 08/05/2023 10:55

A very valid point.

Show quote history

This is true. Recently had a series of awful successive events in the family- none of which could be solved easily because chronic health conditions and some very bad luck- and when talking about it to a friend, she appeared to be listening and then at the end said "You don't seem to be very happy at the moment. Why is that?"

I was a bit flabbergasted. I thought I had explained.

I have realised it's best to keep such things to yourself because most people aren't really listening. Until they experience similar troubles themselves.

OP posts:
minkymini · 08/05/2023 11:20

NeverDropYourMooncup · 08/05/2023 11:00

Shit happens. Can you change it? No. Is it worth beating yourself up about/continually focusing upon how awful and unfair it is, or do you get on with trying to get the most out of your life that you can?

I think people dwell more on bad stuff if it's stuff they could have prevented or avoided. And then there is heartbreaking tragedy But ultimately you have to put one foot in front of the other and carry on , one door shuts another opens .

mjf981 · 08/05/2023 12:11

I agree. Most people just don't care, because they're too busy worrying about their own issues.
I went through some awful personal issues when I was about 19. One night I went for a walk at midnight. Stared up at the stars, and thought, '100 years from now, I'll be dead as will everyone else I know. In fact, it is likely that no-one will even remember I ever existed at all.' This thought gave me comfort, as in the end nothing really matters. All the stressors and pain are only temporary. So just roll with it, accept the good with the bad, and keep moving on. Its all we can do.

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