I've realised he doesn't value me at all

[Perpetuallyexhaustedtoddlermum]

This is about soon to be exDP. I honestly believe that he's a grade A narcissist/cluster B personality.
He lies to the point that it's ridiculous and tells people that he does all these wonderful things for me that just don't happen.
Apparently he spends hundreds of pounds on clothes for me and DS but in reality he's a jobless bum that leaves me scrambling to pay the bills each month.
For Mother's Day just gone, I received a £6 bouquet of flowers and a £3 card that wasn't even written up. I felt so insulted and now it's his birthday coming up and he's going to expect the red carpet to be rolled out for him.
For my 25th birthday 2 years ago DP and his family completely ignored me and didn't even wish me happy birthday because apparently I didn't deserve it.
I'm just so hurt and upset and disappointed in myself for accepting such treatment for so long, thinking that he'd change and he never will.
In fact he's changed for the worst and I'm on eggshells worrying about the next thing he freaks out about.

I would speed up any separation you have planned and make him your ex as of now. You don't need this waste of space in your life.

I feel for you. Nothing will change, if anything it will get worse. My last birthday, he turned and asked my young adult son what he had brought me. My son told him and asked him the same. His reply, “Why the fuck would I bother getting her anything, not like she deserves it” I was standing right there! Please, don’t be like me. You are worth so much more. Leave and never look back!

I felt so insulted and now it's his birthday coming up and he's going to expect the red carpet to be rolled out for him.
He can expect what he wants, it doesn’t mean you have to do it. Save your money for your leaving fund

I want to but the overall situation is one of domestic abuse. Lots of emotional and psychological abuse. I want to leave and do it right the first time so he's got no control over me and DS.

Gosh. That's so awful. It's still not too late for you to leave your waste of space.

That's an idea. He's expecting £100 of clothes at least. I know he's cheating on me because I've seen both tinder and Grindr apps on his phone. I refuse to sleep with him on that principle.

How is your leaving plan going?

Fairly well I'd say. DS legal deed poll is now done and being used on all important things as of Tuesday.
All my ducks are in a row, I have a new secret bank account that he knows nothing about and I know what I need to do in terms of family court and injunctions etc.
Because he's a narcissist it's only a matter of time before he blows up again and I'll use that to get him arrested so I can escape with DS and change my phone number etc.
My dad has spare birth certificate for DS as well as the spare deed polls.

Good luck OP. There are better times ahead. Keep strong.

Thank you. It's terrifying when you realise that the person you planned to spend the rest of your life with, manufactured arguments and manipulated you to the point that you begin to think that you're crazy but it's actually them that's crazy.