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Original poster

What advice would you give to a young girl?

52 replies

JamSandle · 06/05/2023 22:09

The sooner you can appreciate your worth, feel comfortable to say no and embrace your one precious life, the happier you'll be.

The world will have its opinions, pressures and struggles, but enjoy the way you choose :)

OP posts:
Chickenkeev · 07/05/2023 16:04

RuthW · 06/05/2023 23:43

Never rely on any else financially

This. And take no shit.

QueefQueen80s · 07/05/2023 16:33

Only have sex you want.

BlastedPimples · 09/05/2023 07:33

Always be financially independent.

Never give an aggressive or a cheating partner a second chance.

You are cannot rescue people.

You cannot champion every injustice.

Always hug your children.

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 09/05/2023 07:56

A good partner is a partner, you are not his Mum, therapist or housekeeper

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 09/05/2023 07:57

Be financially independent

Spudlet · 09/05/2023 07:59

Exercise. Build lean muscle, lift things that are heavy, run or cycle or swim, or whatever brings you joy. Not to look good, fuck that; but because when you hit your fifties and beyond, you’re going to be very glad that you put the prep work in. Exercise now for a good life later!

Gumbo · 09/05/2023 08:04

Learn to drive as soon as you're old enough. Never assume you'll have a boyfriend or husband that will chauffeur you around - make sure you have your own independence.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/05/2023 08:05

How you treat your body in your youth will catch up with you.

CurlewKate · 09/05/2023 08:06

Never "sit by the phone" or whatever the current version of this concept is. Anyone worth having a relationship with should be eager to see you, and should never keep you guessing/hanging on/waiting for a call.

CurlewKate · 09/05/2023 08:07

And sex should always involve enthusiastic, informed consent. Always.

Gtsr443 · 09/05/2023 08:08

Nobody can make you feel bad about yourself without your consent.

And be discerning whose advice you listen to - everybody's got their own agenda.

SouthLondonMum22 · 09/05/2023 08:08

Don't be a SAHM.

Creepyrosemary · 09/05/2023 08:09

Don't give too much importance on having/getting a relationship, don't give up your plans and dreams for it, make sure you have a really nice life without one, and then the relationship will just add on to the happiness.

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 09/05/2023 08:13

The advice that I gave my daughters (and sons) was just to be who you want to be.

alltheevennumbers · 09/05/2023 08:14

Learn to be comfortable saying no. It is a complete sentence sometimes.

Also get comfortable about sometimes being awkward and sometimes feeling awkward - on occasions necessary/inevitable.

Zipps · 09/05/2023 08:18

Ignore what society wants you to do. If you want dc young or never, if you want to travel the world or start your own business instead of Uni go for it.
Don't become another fool on the hamsters wheel of work nor reliant on a man.
Ditch the unworthy - mummy's boys, anyone with a roving eye, cocklodgers, wasters, druggies and other fuck ups and don't look back.
Never look for someone else's money. Even if you were broke when you met and he now earns a truckload, earn your own money and invest some of it, use the rest to enjoy life to the full.

FrancescaContini · 09/05/2023 08:21

Read the Relationships board on MN for a few years in your early 20s to identify the behaviour and character traits of a man you shouldn’t live or procreate with.

Ansjovis · 09/05/2023 08:49

For the most part, social media =/= real life. Treat it as you would a novel. Spend as little time on it as you can.

something2say · 09/05/2023 09:02

I would say that, coming out of your childhood, you have been dealt a hand of cards and some of them may be poor, or very poor.

It is your first task to swap the cards out until you get a hand that you are happy with.

It is your second and final lifelong task to play the game of life the best way you can, with the most joy, and to see how many levels up you can go before you die. You don't get out of this life alive - see how far you can go.

I would also say that for most people, maybe seven out of ten interactions go well and the remainder do not. It is not you; it happens to everyone. Pick up your threadbare pride and stagger on, and don't take it to heart.

boniobiscuit · 09/05/2023 09:02

Love your body

Sorryyoufeelthatway · 09/05/2023 09:22

What about BOYS! Knew that would come up. NAMs in full force.

Say No.
Don’t be a people pleaser.
You don’t need to be polite to those who are rude.
Speak up.
Don’t put up and shut up.
LTB! (Always!)

CiderRefresher · 09/05/2023 09:26

Do not change yourself, or feign interest in something to impress others - inevitably you will end up feeling like you are living someone else's life. Never feel your interests or tastes are not good enough, find like minded people who make you happy.

Secondwindplease · 09/05/2023 09:30

Even the people who love you will want you to make yourself smaller for them. Don’t do it.

NeverTrustAPoliceman · 09/05/2023 09:53

Never get into a long term relationship with a man until you have seen him voluntarily mop the floor, clean the toilet and sort the laundry.

As well as all of the above.

RoseRobot · 09/05/2023 10:03

Not everyone you meet will like you and that is fine. It's not your job to be liked by others, it's your job to like yourself - not with arrogance, just with proper self-compassion and self-respect.

Life is not permanently happy and that is normal. It is not a sign of mental health problems if you feel sad when bad things happen or anxious before new or pressurised events. It's a sign your mental health is in perfect working order. Striving for 100% happiness 100% of the time is an unrealistic goal that will create misery. Learn resilience - learn to be kind to yourself during tough times and know what things make you feel good that are actually genuinely good for you. Pursue them.

There is no single way to do things. If you fail at something you want or discover you don't want something you thought you loved, that is FINE. I can't tell you how fine that is. It's fine to drop out of uni, fine to not go to uni at all, but have a job instead, fine to fail auditions, job interviews, uni applications and to reapply or move on. It's all fine. There is no single right way to live your life or to pursue your goals.

Learn the difference between desire and drive. As explained to me, desire is: I want a pony! Mum pleeeeease can I have a pony for Christmas?
Drive is: I want a pony. I muck out at the local stables three times a week and exercise livery ponies because I can't yet afford one of my own. Drive gets you where you need to be. Desire doesn't.