Alternative work patterns - child

[Minnierose11]

Hello,

I read quiet a lot of threads on here regarding children and childcare expenses and finding holiday cover for the countless time off they have throughout the year.

Me and my DH have always agreed that when the time comes, after maternity I will leave my current job (hospitality management) and will pick up and part time evening job. He'll work Monday - Friday 7am - 5pm (he can finish at 4.30pm if needed) and I'll work hopefully 3-4 evenings a week. Therefore, we have round the clock childcare, not needing to pay out for childcare costs (reasoning being that it would generally eat up all my income and we'd be working to pay someone else to look after our little one) and we have very limited family resources nearby and those we do, all work full time of have health issues meaning they couldn't.

I should also add, I worked in a couple of nursery's before getting into hospitality, and my experience of all three were awful - one I walked out of after witnessing some of the awful ways I saw little kids dealt with if they didn't finish their lunch/breakfast and if they had an accident when potty training, the final straw was when owner screamed at me in-front of the children for sitting on the stair instead of the bench, the second was similar to the above, and the third had an ongoing investigation into one of the long term workers for pedophilia (didn't know that when I joined until it hit social media). Really, really put me off the thought of my little one being in the care of someone else. - although I would attend groups in order for my little'un to socialise etc.

It would also mean when the little one starts school and they're off sick we wouldn't have to worry about leaving work to pick up, I could attend most school events and be quiet a hands on mum in that regard, my husband would do evening routines and we'd meet in the middle when we had days/evenings together.

It would make things financially a little tighter, but in hindsight probably not significantly if we were to pay for full time child care as an alternative.

Just curious if anyone else has worked things like this and your experience of it?

The biggest concern I would have is that you get enough sleep. For example, if you’re doing 7pm - 12pm every night, it could easily be 1am by the time you get home and get to bed. Baby could still be waking up in the night and then you will need to be up with them at 7am, so 6 hours sleep at best. Otherwise it’s a very good idea

Yes its crap as you have no family life, your relationship with your partner suffers and you're both permanently tired.

Hello! I'd probably be doing waitressing or potentially care work so unlikely to be such a late finish (unless weekends) in which case DH would be off for two days so could help in regards to night feeds etc. But thank you for the feedback.

Why no family life? We'd have both Saturday and Sunday daytimes off together as a family.. DH job is Monday-Friday. Plus he gets every bank holiday off etc.

Yes, we did this after dc2 was born. I did a couple of evenings a week plus a proper shift on Saturdays (I also worked in hospitality). It worked fine but I did start to really miss my DH and dcs. I preferred it to using daycare at that age though as it would have been very expensive indeed for 2 DCs where we live and also if they were sick etc we had no-one who would take them. So it was a good option for us.

I now work in secondary schools, as hospitality wasn't compatible after DCs started school and I would've been at home all day on my own and then doing evenings etc. So I got a school office job and it's worked out pretty well

That's if your lucky enough to find a job with weekends off. Being trapped in the house most evenings with a child isn't much fun and I do actually like my children!

This

@EatTheDamnCake how old where both your children before you gave up the evenings and opted for the school?
Although, I often hear around where I live that school jobs are like gold dust, because its so idyllic for parents so they're snapped up! I have seen a few evening jobs for call centres and such too, 3-4 evenings a week, Monday to Friday. So there is stuff out there. Although, I'm currently not pregnant but TTC and we're just weighing up our options.
All our closest friends seem to have been so fortunate in that there parents ether don't work and they have wrap around childcare for them to work freely! What a luxury haha.

Me and DH are pretty introverted anyway, we spend most our evenings in together. So I honestly don't think he'd mind that much.. no hobbies he'd had to sacrifice. And it wouldn't be every night alone. I'd be doing part time.

We did it for many years. I left a retail management job to work in hospitality 3 evenings a week. It worked well for us. I was home for 12.30 most evenings and back up at 8am to get children to school or nursery .

It meant we had no childcare costs, I was always there during the day when children were in preschool nursery and at school which was invaluable if one of them were unwell. This also gave dh time with the children himself creating an excellent bond between them.

It sounds a bit of a miserable life tbh. And how do you know you'll be able to walk into a job with perfect hours? Is it worth leaving your career?

Lots of people do this.
We have at one point. Its very tiring.
You will be starting work after a days childcare, which depending on the child, can be like a day at work.
Your partner will be getting back from work and doing 'the second shift'

My career isn't something I'm desperate to cling onto, hospitality is a thankless job, even at management stage.
And I search on indeed constantly, there is an endless stream on Monday-Friday/part time evenings work available, in hospitality, care work or cleaning. It shouldn't be difficult.