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Original poster

Swimming lessons best age for nervous preschooler when you have baby

22 replies

Pumpkinbumkin200 · 05/05/2023 20:22

My 3.5 year old is pretty much one of the only one of my friends' children who isn't having lessons yet. I'm hoping to start her when she is 4/5 as I can't take her currently as also have a baby so can't be in the pool with her.

I've mentioned starting lessons where she would go in by herself and so far she's not impressed with that idea! What age is ok to wait to start? Hoping she will come round to the idea of going in by herself.

OP posts:

Cakeandslippers · 05/05/2023 21:12

I think that's quite young still. Are you sure your friends children are having proper lessons or are they are the parent and child sessions which are lovely but not really teaching them how to swim? (Not saying they are all like this but I know a lot are focused on lovely parent and child time?). My 4yo has started lessons where she's on her own with the other children but I think she's quite young based on friends and the others in the classes. We did it because she developed a fear after a bit of a break from the pool and as soon as we'd overcome it, I put her in to try and help her confidence. She loves it but tbh progress is slow and I keep her in more for her enjoyment really, I think the older ones (5/6ish and up) seem to learn a lot more quickly.

CheeseAndOnionIsMyFav · 05/05/2023 21:40

We didn't start lessons until age 6 or 7 when they were old enough to actually follow the instructions. My son has been learning a year (he's nearly 8 now) and is in Stage 4.

Singleandproud · 05/05/2023 21:46

DD didn't start swimming lesson until she was 7, jumped several stages and swam a mile non-stop 12 months after starting.

It's all well and good starting lessons young but they don't get a huge amount out of it, little time actually swimming, and their gross motor skills are still developing, they pick it up much quicker when they are older.

Obviously awkward with a baby but if you had a partner or grandparent to sit on the side with baby you would be better off taking DC swimming yourself and playing games and working on water confidence and once they are happy to be dunked and can doggy paddle a length then put them into lessons to work on technique. You can skip several stages then and go in straight to stage 4.

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CatOnTheChair · 05/05/2023 22:02

Lessons after they start school, so have an idea about following instructions and lessons.

Can you and another adult take both kids at the weekends/in the holidays just for a play? Or one adult take the 3 year old, ad one stay at home with baby.

MeinKraft · 05/05/2023 22:16

Give yourself a break woman, you have a baby and a toddler. You don't need to be worrying about swimming lessons.

mrsed1987 · 05/05/2023 23:03

My son started at about 3.5, he is very lucky to have been the only child in his class (the benefit of being of work midweek) so had 1:1 for about 5 months. He was petrified of letting go of the instructor or wall for the first 6 weeks but is really confident now. He is getting there with the swimming as well, I think another few months and he will be able to swim a length.

We only put him in lessons as we wanted to increase his confidence without one of us being around.

Sounds like you have enough to be getting on with so I'd leave it a while, it's not the end of the world like everyone else has said.

Janefx40 · 05/05/2023 23:05

My DD just started now at 4 and 4 months. She has done another class on her own tho. We did gymnastics with me there for a year and then moved up to a class where she goes herself but was confident as she knows the teachers. I think that experience helped her to go in the pool without me although I did have to squat at the side and hold her hand for the first 5 mins!

Just do it whenever she is ready. There's no hurry x

greenmarsupial · 05/05/2023 23:32

Mine both started as soon as they turned three as that is the age that lessons didn't require a parent. A three year old can follow instructions just fine, especially if they have some nursery/preschool experience. While I'm sure those that started later made quicker progress, I think the point of swimming lessons is to be safe in the water so the earlier the better.

I don't think any classes round here let parents in at that age- there are some lovely small 1:2 classes in private pools which might work for you.

Haematomato · 05/05/2023 23:50

Why can't you take both? Mine are a similar age and I take them both myself all the time. I'd double check with your local pool but as long as they have the correct flotation aids, I.e armbands for the oldest and a life jacket for the baby, you can take both in alone. We've been to 3 different pools and never had any issues.

Hellocatshome · 05/05/2023 23:55

Do you have a pool with a walk in beach style access to the water. If so take them both there. Sit in the shallows and let the nervous older one paddle about with some toys. They will naturally venture deeper and deeper as their confidence grows. You can encourage this by very gradually floating a toy or throwing a ball slightly further for them to retrieve. At this age the main thing is to develop water confidence. Lessons can come later.

maryberryslayers · 06/05/2023 08:15

Mine have been having proper lessons since they were 2, DS started when DD was about 2 months old, I didn't need to get in with him so it was perfect. I wore DD so I could change DS.
DD has been in by herself since she was 22 months, I was in with her prior to this but I ended up sat on the side. They wear a swimfin and arm disks and there's max 5 kids per teacher.
DS is now 4 and can swim unaided with a good technique.
Look for a similar company in your area, it's such an important skill.

EatTheDamnCake · 06/05/2023 08:20

Mine started at 4 and 7 (same time).

The now 5yo is making no progress really, or very very slow progress but it is still early days. The older one is doing great. I do think it's a bit easier because she can follow instructions better

SallyWD · 06/05/2023 08:23

We started at that age with my children but they both hated it so tried again later when they were older (around 7) and they both got in to it. One of my children is now in to competitive swimming. I don't see the point in pushing it if they're not ready. I'd focus on getting them comfortable in water and just having fun in the pool.

angelopal · 06/05/2023 08:30

DD started lessons at 4.5. She had not really been swimming before and it was a struggle. She hated it to begin with but is now a really confident swimmer.

DS started lessons at aged 1 to give him water confidence. That was with a parent in the pool. He moved to lessons on his own just before turning 5 and is doing really well.

Doesn't have to be lessons but it's better if you can take her to get her used to it before starting lessons. Is there someone who can take the baby so you can take her?

SwanUppmanship · 06/05/2023 08:40

Swimming isn't something that you have to start early to get good at. You could start age 2 and by age 7 be the same age as a child who started at 5.
Things that impact on progress:

Confidence
Ability to listen to instructions
Strength/muscle tone

Basically don't panic and just do a bit of fun swimming as a family from time to time. Wait until they are at school for lessons.

BendingSpoons · 06/05/2023 09:04

They progress quicker when older. Mine both started lessons on their own at just turned 3 as they were in the toddler and parent sessions before and needed to move up. DD progressed fairly quickly. DS has been in stage 1 for over a year with no sign he is ready to move up yet as he still doesn't like jumping in. I don't mind as they enjoy it and are building confidence, but starting at 5/6 they definitely will progress quicker!

BendingSpoons · 06/05/2023 09:07

If you ever go on holidays with a swimming pool, then it's good to start lessons just after that. A few days in and out the pool builds confidence.

Mustardandchickensandwiches · 06/05/2023 09:07

Swimming lessons are pointless until they can go in themselves. (4/5yrs ish depending on the child)

In the meantime, lot's of getting comfortable with water.

Water play, splashing in the bath, water on the face, deeper baths than usual, take her swimming with baby if there is a shallow small pool available for 30 minutes regularly.

Hellocatshome · 06/05/2023 09:10

SallyWD · 06/05/2023 08:23

This my son didn't learn to swim until he was 7 at 12 he swam in his first National Open Water Competition which was a distance of 2km at race pace. Honestly do not worry thet your toddler hasn't started swimming lessons yet.

Oh and up until 7 he was hyperventilating at the thought of letting go of the side of the pool because of the sharks 🙈

CurlewKate · 06/05/2023 09:22

Unless you have a swimming pool or live on a boat (like I do!) start when she's ready and wants to. It's not a "necessary life skill" for most people. And when she's ready she'll learn in 10 minutes.

Original poster

Pumpkinbumkin200 · 06/05/2023 18:50

Ok great thanks all. I do have a husband but he works shifts so inevitably wouldn't be around for the swimming lesson to have the baby. We do take them both swimming together every so often and she enjoys that. She's never been one to stray far from me so think that's more the issue than the swimming lessons themselves.

Great to hear I can leave it a little while longer without feeling guilty - injury know the importance of leaning and was worried I was being irresponsible not starting lessons yet!

OP posts:

feeona123 · 06/05/2023 19:03

My son had just turned 3 when he started and he went in himself. I was actually looking for my daughter who was 4 and found out he could go as well so they started at the same time.

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