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Original poster

Small(ish) lottery win - Do I keep it since they didn’t pay?

449 replies

swimmingforCB · 05/05/2023 20:02

We’ve had a family syndicate going for 6 months or so now. Few £10 wins etc but nothing big.

For the past 2 weeks, nobody has bothered paying in. They kept saying they’d do it next week, and then next week came and they said they’d do it that week. But everyone forgot again!

I won on Tuesday. Nothing OTT but a sizeable sum

If I keep it to myself, it’ll change my life. If I share it between the 4 of us, it’ll pay for a fancy holiday and that’s it.

What do I do? 😬

OP posts:
IsItUs · 05/05/2023 21:36

I think it's yours if they didn't pay.
However if you're feeling kindly, give it a week or two and see if they pay what they owe without being asked. If they do, you could share but wouldn't have to.
I assume they know you bought the ticket but just presume it didn't win. If they don't reimburse you when they think it lost they're not worth giving a penny to.
As I say, I think it's yours but I think the above is an option if you're wavering.
If you don't end up sharing it, don't mention the win.

Truestorypeeps · 05/05/2023 21:36

allrightclucky · 05/05/2023 21:19

If you would have accepted their cash in arrears for losing tickets, surely morally you have to accept it in arrears for winning ones?

Would you even have bought the same number of lucky dips you bought, if you weren't in the family syndicate?

If you know in your heart of hearts that you bought that number of lucky dips only because it was the syndicate, and you knew you'd be repaid, then I think morally you have to accept you bought those lines for the whole family and the prize is for all of you.

Otherwise anyone might as well run a syndicate and deliberately encourage people to pay in arrears, so that any time there's a win they can argue that it's all theirs as the money hasn't arrived yet.

This all day!

I'd imagine you are only asking as you know deep down it'd be wrong to keep it all! The reasons this poster has listed are why. You just want a pass to not feel any guilt.

PimpMyFridge · 05/05/2023 21:37

I think you should tell them what had happened and share your dilemma.
Rightfully they didn't play that week so aren't technically owed anything. But you love them and know it would make a big difference to them just as it would you, do you're going to split it so they get half what they would have got off they had joined in. That's a good compromise and they can't really complain at that.

Teentaxidriver · 05/05/2023 21:37

Your money. Keep it but you can never, ever, ever breathe a word.

briansgardenshed · 05/05/2023 21:39

Keep absolutely silent. Leave it one more week and then just stop doing it. If someone asks just say you've given up as no-one else was playing. Keep the win quiet - unless you do stupid spending no-one else need know.

Itsagnomelife · 05/05/2023 21:39

what is the amount? Don’t understand the secrecy, it’s not exactly outing

stupendous1 · 05/05/2023 21:41

Itsagnomelife · 05/05/2023 21:39

what is the amount? Don’t understand the secrecy, it’s not exactly outing

Its the £20k she said upthread..

BasiliskStare · 05/05/2023 21:41

I would share it but ( petty - me? ha ha ) take off the arrears from those who haven't paid & then not bother with the syndicate. But as a PP said if you have bought more lucky dips that you would have done otherwise because of the syndicate then arguably you would not otherwise have won.

I'd share it given that was the spirit of the thing . 2 weeks abeyance I reckon is OK for family.

SpacePotato · 05/05/2023 21:42

Tell them all you're stopping the syndicate and can all play themselves if they want.

Viviennemary · 05/05/2023 21:42

You need to share it. Otherwise it could be theft.

Fiorione · 05/05/2023 21:43

Lindy2 · 05/05/2023 20:27

I think if they found out then you risk a family rift that might never heal. Are you OK with that?

If you're OK ditching your family to keep the win then go for it, although I think you might regret it in the future.

They should have paid. They don't really deserve the win. However, for family relations it probably is better to split it after deducting what they owe.

After this payout though introduce the rule if they don't pay up in advance they won't be part of the syndicate that week.

I agree with this.

Also, we all see it through the lens of our own relationships. If it was my sisters and mother, I would be overjoyed to share it and surprise them - it would be an amazing thing to be able do. I know I would love doing that more than keeping the money.

LiliLil · 05/05/2023 21:43

Viviennemary · 05/05/2023 21:42

You need to share it. Otherwise it could be theft.

How on earth is it theft if nobody else paid for the lucky dip tickets?!

Eggseggseverywhere · 05/05/2023 21:44

Theft when op paid? Give over...

PimpMyFridge · 05/05/2023 21:44

Actually I agree with @allrightclucky and @Truestorypeeps.
Ultimately is it worth souring family relations for the money that you would have all jointly celebrated and delighted in together if they'd given you the money for the tickets a few days ago.
Even if technically they didn't play that week and they accept the logic of that, it is still going to be very hard for them to see you experience a life changing sum of money while they're still on the bones of their arse. It will come between you even if everyone really tries not to let it.
If you were in their skies what would you how they would do?
I think I'd split it, but I'd get the money for the tickets and then say... you'll be glad you've paid because tadaaaaaa and have some fun with it. Wouldn't it be lovely to all celebrate together.

Desmondo2021 · 05/05/2023 21:44

I think it depends.... Did you pay for their share due to their lack of paying, or did the built up fund from previous wins when they WERE paying essentially pay?

Wonnle · 05/05/2023 21:44

Viviennemary · 05/05/2023 21:42

You need to share it. Otherwise it could be theft.

How do you figure that one out then ?

The OP paid for the tickets , you can't steal from yourself can you

autienotnaughtym · 05/05/2023 21:45

I would keep it. Maybe stop doing the syndicate if they aren't paying in. Then 4/5month from now have a small win on lottery and give some to your sil.

Desmondo2021 · 05/05/2023 21:45

I think if it's the latter then it's trickier. I'd they simply didn't pay YOU this week and you bought the tickets anyway then it's a clear no brainer that it's only to be shared by the people who paid.

JandalsAlways · 05/05/2023 21:45

Tootyfilou · 05/05/2023 20:04

What would you want them to do if you were in their situation?

Good question. And if you know they were going to pay that's not right and really dishonest

BreadInCaptivity · 05/05/2023 21:47

allrightclucky · 05/05/2023 21:19

If you would have accepted their cash in arrears for losing tickets, surely morally you have to accept it in arrears for winning ones?

Would you even have bought the same number of lucky dips you bought, if you weren't in the family syndicate?

If you know in your heart of hearts that you bought that number of lucky dips only because it was the syndicate, and you knew you'd be repaid, then I think morally you have to accept you bought those lines for the whole family and the prize is for all of you.

Otherwise anyone might as well run a syndicate and deliberately encourage people to pay in arrears, so that any time there's a win they can argue that it's all theirs as the money hasn't arrived yet.

Your post has actually made me change my mind.

I think this argument is impossible to challenge from a moral standpoint.

I think you have to split the winnings OP.

OctopusComplex · 05/05/2023 21:47

So, they're happy for you to shell out on their behalf each week, but don't pay you back?

If you paid for a line per person, that's not a small amount of money, and they don't seem to care.

I'd just sit on it. If you need to spend an extra few pounds a week on groceries etc then do that, but just tuck it away.

If you're really worried about it, then you could always give them a token amount, 500 per stake or something.

Actually, that makes it worse. Why would you hand over any money when they had no qualms about you being out of pocket!?

Itsagnomelife · 05/05/2023 21:47

stupendous1 · 05/05/2023 21:41

Its the £20k she said upthread..

Show quote history

Where?
she said it was over 10k, can’t see where she said £20k

PuzzledObserver · 05/05/2023 21:47

Imagine the syndicate never existed, you just bought a ticket and won.

What would you do then - share it out, treat them, keep it all for your family?

Do that. Because it wasn’t a syndicate win, it was your win.

BabbleBee · 05/05/2023 21:48

How would anyone know it came from a syndicate ticket and not another ticket you’d bought yourself?

Thegoodbadandugly · 05/05/2023 21:48

They didn't pay so therefore they diddnt win, you paid you won.