No desire yet to get a motorbike, or run off with a younger man. Just a sense of boredom and feeling trapped.
I have a lovely life- a decent if at time frustrating job, a lovely DH with another decent job; two really pretty wonderful children (albeit the youngest still won't let me get a full nights sleep) who love their school/nursery and their friends, and we live in a nice, small house. My parents are not too far away, but quite elderly. My sister and nephew and niece within 2 hours. We have nice holidays- UK mostly, occasional short haul . We are not counting pennies, but also not saving lots. Life is decent
But at 44 I thought I would be living overseas. I thought I would be excited by life still.
I have a constant feeling now of needing to escape and feeling trapped. Like I am missing out on the experience I wanted to have, and running out of time to do it well. We used to travel and have adventures before kids. I'm not expecting life to be like that, but there is still a sense of something not achieved.
DH wants to buy a more comfortable, bigger house. We could do with the space it's true.
I want to rent ours out, find a job overseas and take the kids out of school and experience something different. Or travel in a campervan for a year. People do it. People manage with much less and have healthy happy kids.
And when I put my sensible hat on I realise we can't. The kids, their school, my parents, being financially secure, Brexit, the messy, messy state of the world.... it's just not a sensible thing to do. Plus my job, which is fairly high up in the career ladder, has become rather specialist. I'm not a teacher or a doctor to find a job overseas easily. It's a risk.
How do I resolve my feelings of longing with being satisfied with what I have?