Does anyone get sad/anxious thinking about if they *hadn’t* done something…

[Suprima]

Bear with me. I think I’ve lost the plot.

I was thinking earlier about what if I didn’t go out to meet my husband that night. It was online dating. I wasn’t sure. Thought it was a bit soon. My ex was still in the spare room for Christ’s sake. I was thinking about cancelling until the hour before where I made a spur of the moment decision and shoved myself out the door and onto the tube.

Well I did.

I just can’t get over the sadness (actual tears) when I thought about if I had cancelled. I’m sure I would have been fine, but life wouldn’t have been exactly as I’m living right now.

If I think about it too long, it still freaks me out. I feel ridiculous.

Has anyone had similar feelings before, about anything? It’s really unsettled me.

I'm sorry. Its really hard to control your thoughts, even irrational ones like yours. I don't think back and think Gosh, what if I hadn't done x, y or z! Mindfulness meditation may help.

@Suprima have you seen the film Sliding Doors?
I often think about things that could have been my 'Sliding Doors' moment.
There are some decisions in my life that I often feel more angry than sad about and frequently think "I wish I could go back and do this again".
But....I can't go back.
But I understand what you mean that you feel "unsettled".
It's difficult to know what to do?
Sorry that's not much help 💐

If I hadn’t of given up a career and moved out of a city I loved on a whim I’d have been so much happier, I think about it daily and it makes me incredibly increasingly sad even 20 years later.

I sometimes feel very sad I didn’t meet my husband when we were younger, but we can’t change the past only make the most of the future. Maybe some sort of counselling might help you OP 💐

I think everyone has fleeting thoughts like this but the problem is, you are letting them make you feel really emotional. We could all think "what if" but whats the point? you cant change anything so really no point in dwelling on this if its making you feel anxious. I would perhaps try to examine whats underneath these thoughts- what do they really represent to you and what beliefs are they showing you about yourself? we cant change the past but we can learn from it going forward.

It hasn't made me sad, more wow life would be so different glad I did that but I do think about it too sometimes.

If I think about it too long, it still freaks me out. I feel ridiculous.

I don't mean this harshly, but just stop thinking about it if it freaks you out so much. You seem to be deliberately torturing yourself!