Anyone else always catastrophise?

[alwaysacatastrophe]

I stupidly checked my work phone on my way up to bed. Something has gone wrong on a project at work. As soon as I saw the email from the client, my heart started pounding and I start panicking and getting all het up about losing my job and how I've fucked up- I didn't even know it was my fault at this point.

I try to tell myself to leave it til tomorrow. I just can't. WhatsApp my boss who's abroad on holiday to ask advice. In the meantime I HAVE to open up my laptop and start delving into what's happened, sweating and panicking and my thoughts racing. Been on there nearly 2 hours trying to work out what happened.

My reaction to things like this is so extreme- I dread being "told off" so much I get absolutely worked up and in my head. How do I stop it? It's happened a few times now.

I can rationalise now that it's a small error. affecting about 10 people who have had access to something they shouldn't - nothing private or confidential. But in that headspace I start thinking about looking for a new job, calling in sick tomorrow, ignoring the email or just quitting and not going back.

I do this and it's exhausting, so I really sympathise! I'm not sure I have any answers though. It's becoming so common for me - from tiny work things which inevitably resolve themselves by the end of the day - that I'm considering therapy.

The only thing I've tried which helps is to make a list of all the times in the past year where I've gone down this catastrophising rabbit hole and then it's been absolutely nothing to worry about. To remind myself I've felt like it before and it was all pointless and fine! Might help as a quick attempt at a solution?

I've struggled with catastrophisation since losing a parent as a teenager (34 years ago tomorrow actually). Mine was mainly focused on losing family members but could leak into work situations too to the point of panic attacks.

I've changed a few things in the last six months that have made a real difference:

1. I started psychodynamic therapy six months ago

1. I've been getting some mentoring at work around reframing my thoughts/reactions - one of the things advised was to write things down but only allow yourself to worry about them in a defined time slot each day e.g. between 9-10

1. Practicing the techniques in a book called The Chimp Paradox where you name the part of your brain that reacts that way (your primative brain that's just trying to protect you) so that you can reassure it and let your rational brain take over - it sounds crazy but it really works!

They've brought about a real change and I've gone from spiralling into the most horrible scenarios anytime someone is slightly late home to being able to really rationalise my reactions and get it under control.

All the time. It’s exhausting and it’s also ridiculous because I have wasted so much time overthinking and expecting the worst to happen. The truly maddening thing is when something bad does happen it’s never anything I saw coming and I do have the ability to cope. I remind myself of all things but I still do it. I would like to give myself a hard slap at times..

Me too. I did do a course of CBT last year though which actually did help a fair bit. We worked on that a lot and it was a long intense course of CBT I think 20 sessions it was. So I'd recommend that. Was NHs via my local IAPT service (although they're not called that anymore are they?).

I will also say that I resonated with your comment about panicking about being 'told off'. For work-related anxieties this is something I panic about too. I think for me it's come from my childhood, I was the 'good' child who excelled academically etc and I had strict parents, one of whom had mental health challenges of their own who would frequently completely fly off the handle with rage at what with hindsight were not really particularly serious misdemeanors on the part of me and/or my siblings. I would find that so stressful and on some occasions scary so I think that's where my intense feelings around the fear of being 'told off' comes from.

Thank you all for your replies. There's some interesting things that really reasonable with me- I too was always the "good child" at school and home. I always did what was expected of me and rarely put a foot wrong. When I did though, even if it was a tiny thing, my DM was very aggressive and would sometimes use physical punishment to chastise me. I also lost my DF to suicide in my early 20's and this had a huge affect on my ability to calmly deal with situations in a normal way.

As it is, the client isn't too pissed off, my big boss said he could see how the error could occur and we should add a step to the process to mitigate in future and everyone's moved on.

I really think I will look into some kind of CBT as it isn't only related to work this happens. It's things like if the DC do something at school and I get called over, it absolutely panics me. Again I suppose it's about getting "told off" so something to explore.

Yeah I have this in other aspects of my life too as well as just catastrophising about other things with different fears etc. The CBT has really helped me though it was a hard slog. I'm still the same person, I've been using those terrible thinking patterns since childhood, so they haven't disappeared. But now usually I can catch myself when I start going down the rabbit hole and use the strategies I learnt to stop it all being so all consuming.

Only a tiny thing as well but one thing we did early on that was a real lightbulb for me was keeping a worry diary and reviewing the worries at the end of each day/later period if relevant. The amount of worries that went through my head didn't surprise me, but the fact that almost all the worries related to hypothetical situations that never happened. And I just found that was a good motivator for me to change too because it was so sad to think of all the energy spent worrying about things that never even come to pass, like what a totally sad way to live and what a waste of all my energy.

Best of luck, I really would recommend NHS CBT but I know some areas can have very long waiting lists.

To answer the question, no.
I'll deal with things as and when I deal with them.