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Original poster

Why is thinking/ making dinner so utterly soul destroying

105 replies

sweettoffeecake · 04/05/2023 17:38

Honestly I'm just in from work and the 3 kids are glaring at me telling me they're hungry. It's my least favourite part of the day lol inspiration needed today 🙏

OP posts:
craftybeee · 04/05/2023 19:05

Not to make anyone jealous but...it's just me and DD so I plan what we are going to have each day & make sure it's simple if it's on a work/school night. I rotate the same-ish meals each week. On a weekend we have a pizza night.

I feel for those who have big families to feed at the end of each day, must be so exhausting.

spiderlight · 04/05/2023 19:06

You're so right. I have a fussy DH who comes back from work at unpredictable times and therefore needs things that can be reheated, and an equally fussy teenager who is currently poorly with stomach problems and only wants bland food. There is virtually zero overlap between them in terms of what they like at the best of times, let alone while DS isn't well, so I'm stuck in the middle every blooming evening, usually cooking two separate meals to keep them both happy. We're vegetarian but DH won't eat pasta, rice, noodles, eggs, or anything involving quorn or other veggie mince, so most of the obvious quick and easy meals are out before we start!

Mustardandchickensandwiches · 04/05/2023 19:07

Batch cooking and freezing, freezer prepping and meal planning changed my life on this to be honest

Deadringer · 04/05/2023 19:08

Meal planning is a good idea. Unfortunately I hate meal planning almost as much as I hate cooking. I don't even have a job but I still fucking hate it all!

bostonchamps · 04/05/2023 19:10

Vassari · 04/05/2023 17:50

I'm new here, but I thought I'd share a tip. I make a weekly menu of meals and I assign them to a day of the week. That way there's never any wondering about what's for dinner that night and it also saves money as you're not overspending thinking that you'll buy this and use it for "something". Less stress and if your children are old enough they can even start preparing part of the meal so you have even less to worry about when you get home. :)

hold the press, have you just invented...meal planning Wink

LindyLou2020 · 04/05/2023 19:10

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 04/05/2023 17:49

I used to feel like this but my 13 year old DS discovered a love for cooking and now does it all! He tells me what he wants to make and I just have to do the shopping. He does make me do the cleaning up though but it’s better than having to do both.

@Idratherbepaddleboarding

When he's older, can I marry him?😊

prawnring · 04/05/2023 19:12

I've fallen a little bit in love with Sarah Rossi / Taming Twins - she's got a book of family meals in 30 mins. My kids won't eat everything but I've had a few successes and it's all fairly low faff. She even does shopping lists so you don't have to think ahead.

MidlifeWhatNow · 04/05/2023 19:14

The only way I managed to cope with this was by paying out for hello fresh. It's definitely more expensive but it completely removes the mental load of meal planning / shopping / thinking what to have every evening. Even the cooking bit is more enjoyable imo!

HF 4 times a week, one night takeaway, one night jacket potatoes, leaves one night of potential randomness / fridge diving / leftovers.

It's so, so worth it. I could never go back to meal planning 7 fucking nights a week and will happily pay for that mental load to be lifted.

ThreeRingCircus · 04/05/2023 19:19

I hear you! The only way I make it vaguely bearable is to meal plan and do the food shopping accordingly. Then what is on the plan is what we're having....end of. Everyone gets a say in what goes on the meal plan for the week but I'm usually met with a shrug of shoulders when I ask for suggestions.

I also try to keep two or three meals a week REALLY simple when I'm tired after work or DDs have after school activities. Soup with garlic baguette, toasties with some fruit on the side, fresh pasta and pesto, egg on toast or jacket potatoes with beans are my go to meals. It's always pizza and a film night on a Saturday and then on a Sunday I'll take my time and make something "proper". A roast dinner, toad in the hole, cottage pie, lasagne etc etc. If I do something like lasagne/cottage pie/macaroni cheese/pasta bake etc that can easily be frozen I just make double and put one in it's oven dish straight into the freezer for another day.

LindorDoubleChoc · 04/05/2023 19:22

I totally sympathise OP and this is one of the most common complaints among my parent friends! We all know if it was just us we'd eat bread and cheese and olives or something when we can't be arsed to cook. But that doesn't cut it with everyone else in the family.

The ONLY solution is meal planning, I'm afraid. But I do 3 or 4 days meal at a time, not a whole week. I look at what's in the fridge, freezer and cupboards and think for about 5 minutes and make a shopping list. Then any of those 3 or 4 meals can be for any of the next 3 or 4 nights as suits.

Doing a whole week, fortnight or month does my head in and takes too long!

CallieQ · 04/05/2023 19:22

Pasta bake?!

YukoandHiro · 04/05/2023 19:23

I share your pain. It gives me the absolute rage. We have allergies too so it's not easy.
Having children has destroyed my former love of food and cooking.

Allhailkingcharlie · 04/05/2023 19:27

Check out what's for dinner by sarah rossi. All tasty meals, not too expensive and relatively quick to make.

MysteryBelle · 04/05/2023 19:27

I don’t mind the cooking, it’s the cleaning up afterward that I absolutely can’t stand. Worst chore in my opinion.

when I need to do bare minimum:

pasta with jarred sauce

grilled cheese

frozen chicken strips

Canned soup or chili

Hedjwitch · 04/05/2023 19:30

Its shit even when you meal plan. I sit every week trying to come up with a varied menu to suit preferences, one vegetarian,cost,speed, health...and am sick to death of it. Sometimes I just have a sandwich as I cant be arsed and let everyone else fend for themselves.

Undertherock · 04/05/2023 19:31

I loved cooking once. Now I reheat fish fingers and chicken nuggets.

TheaBrandt · 04/05/2023 19:31

Any pleasure in cooking is ruined. It’s an utter chore. I find watching cooking as entertainment baffling - talk about busman’s holiday..,

Stillcountingbeans · 04/05/2023 19:32

How is a jacket potato a quick meal? They take about an hour in the oven.
I have tried microwaving them - the skin comes out all soft and it is not the same thing at all.

I just eat a bowl of muesli when I can't be bothered with anything else. DH fends for himself. Luckily no DC at home.

TheaBrandt · 04/05/2023 19:33

I always say if I won the lottery I wouldn’t move House I would get staff. Dd has an insanely rich friend and I love to hear about their lives - live in maids do all their cooking / drudge / laundry. Would be amazing.

Romeiswheretheheartis · 04/05/2023 19:34

I'm already looking forward to tomorrow, when we'll be having the other half of what I made tonight! Love those days when it just needs heating up!

ArcticBells · 04/05/2023 19:36

I feel the same just having to feed myself!

midgemadgemodge · 04/05/2023 19:40

You can microwave them and finish for 10 minutes to crisp in the oven

Rainbowshit · 04/05/2023 19:43

This is why I like meal boxes. Gousto are my favourite.

There's four of us in the house. We each pick one of the choices and cook it Monday to Thursday.

The teenagers get some cooking experience, I don't have to think what's for dinner, I only have to cook once midweek and we get more variety and portions controlled for us.

TiredOfCleaning · 04/05/2023 19:48

I love cooking. Love it. So much so that I have a blog and am in the middle of putting together a community cookbook.

But fuck me I am exhausted with cooking every single day for the DCs.

Dh sorts himself out. DS1 has autism and sensory issues around food which makes it ... challenging. DS2 eats whatever.

This week I told them that we are quite short of cash this month (true) so it will be simple meals - suppers really for the foreseeable. i have also told them they need to eat properly at school (private school and the truly excellent meals (3 courses!!)ar e prepaid but too often Ds1 will only eat a packet of crisps Hmm. THAT drives me crazy..... today on the menu was soup followed by cottage pie and green beans followed by sorbet at school and he just ate CRISPS! )

This week it is beans on toast; eggs on toast; breakfast for dinner (such as bacon butties) etc. i have quite exhuasted my patience and my inspiration and my get up and go.

I cannot have any waste anymore and I am so tired of meal planning and shopping.

Unescorted · 04/05/2023 19:51

@Stillcountingbeans stick them on a metal skewer and they cook in half the time with the lovely skin.