How does anyone manage?

[JuicyDrop]

Bit of context first- I currently work 30 hours a week flexible contract as a HCA in the NHS. I do two 12 hour shifts a week and one 8 hour. I work when my fiancé is off as we have a three year old son. My job is extremely challenging- I work on a mental health unit and the nature of the job is just getting harder and harder.

I need a change for my own well-being so I applied for a job in a GP practice. It is 37 hours a week Monday to Friday and I had the interview this afternoon. I feel it went really well and towards the end they were talking as though I had got the job, but of course this isn’t a guarantee. I asked regards the hours if there was any leeway with the hours and they apologised and said not.

I now just feel very deflated- I would love to take this job but have no idea how you manage that around childcare with young children. My son currently goes to preschool three days a week- he now has his 30 hours funding so I could put him in the full 5 days but me and my partner would not be available for drop off and pick up with the hours this new job would entail. We have some childcare available from the mother in law but I doubt she would want my son 5 days a week in the school holidays 8-6. Although this shouldn’t really be a factor, my son is especially clingy to me and doesn’t particularly like going to his nanas. The mum guilt I have about placing him there 5 days a week whilst I work is massive, even if she agreed. He would be unhappy and distressed- no particular reason why he doesn’t like going he’s just a home bird and he is so used to having me or dad home whilst the other works.

Don’t really know what I’m looking for really- just maybe a space to vent how I am feeling right now.

Would your son be happier going to a private year round nursery rather than mixing up current preschool and nana’s? Because if so that would sort the childcare issue timing wise. You might have to swallow a big cost for a year or two but he will be in school after that. Yes sorting wraparound and holiday clubs will be difficult… BUT it sounds like this job would be really good for you. And you are also important.

Potentially. To be honest, he has this big thing where whenever he leaves me he screams and cries blue murder. This can be if I leave him with nana, at pre-school or sometimes even with his own dad. After 5 minutes he is fine and settles. I’d be hesitant to move him from his pre-school- he started in January and has just started to find his feet and his confidence is really growing. I’m not sure we would be able to afford full time private nursery either- this new job would be low wage and my fiancé works full time but for quite a basic wage too.
I do agree that I am important too though- I think I often forget that and spend my time worrying about everyone else instead.

I'm a single parent working a 40 hour week. When my kids were younger they were dropped at childcare at 7.45 and collected at 6.30. childminder took them to pre school / school as required. I'm a teacher so didn't have holiday issues but friends used non school connected nurseries, and later sports camp holiday club type things. No mum guilt. I'm a person as well as a mum. I need my job and me working benefits them too.

Are you sure it’s full 8-6 Monday-Friday? Will there not be a couple of days that are half days?

Go onto childcare choices.co.uk
and see if you could get tax free childcare or UC help. You can combine that with the 30 hours.

my son gets 30hours now but I use stretched funding so get 22 hours per week. UC helps towards the rest.

Thank you for your reply- and I hope it didn’t come across as offensive when describing my mum guilt. I appreciate a lot of people work full time jobs and children are in childcare all day- I applaud those who manage to make it work. I think the guilt comes from me been at home so far for most of my DS life and then suddenly change. He is extremely sensitive and very much a mummy’s boy, although I appreciate children are more resilient then we give them credit for and he would soon adapt.
My main issue was the childcare element, particularly school holidays. He will start primary school next September but until then we are pretty much on our own apart from his pre- school days.

No you’re right- it probably wouldn’t be 8-6 everyday as it’s only 37 hours a week and that tends to include some Saturday work. They didn’t give me a breakdown of exactly what hours the shifts would be.

If you get offered the job and then have a breakdown of the hours you may find it’s more workable than you think!
Saturdays for our surgery are only generally for a few flu clinics a year, and now a couple of covid clinics. Hopefully the place you have applied to is the same.
Good luck! I hope you hear soon.

You would top up the 30 hours from your salary as needed - most nurseries are open from 8am to 6pm, some longer. This is what most people do when working full-time.

But I wouldn't sign up for any job without clearer information about the shifts you will be working. There is a danger that all the undesirable shifts get piled on the new staff member

I appreciate that so thank you. To be honest, having worked for the NHS for 8 years undesirable shifts don’t phase me. I currently work 12 hour shifts starting at 7.30am and finishing at 8pm. This includes every Sunday. Any hours this new role offers me will be an improvement on that. I would definitely need to need the specific shifts though to sort childcare out, you’re right.

Use a childminder u can use funded hours with them.

See if there is a childminder who can do wraparound for the pre-school and full time in the school holidays.

You can use tax free childcare on what you pay for over the 30 hours so that saves 20%