Trying to remember the name of a specific Midwife - Queen Charlottes

[SlightlyJaded]

OK - this is niche...

DH and I were talking to DS about his birth this evening and I wanted to tell him the name of the midwife but couldn't remember. It's now driving me mad.

This is beyond unlikely, but did anyone deliver at Queen Charlottes (West London) in the mid 2000's (this was 2007) and have a male, Scottish midwife (if it helps, I think his DW was also a midwife at the hospital). He was incredible - so much calmer (and more calming) than the midwives that took me through my first birth. I remember him with great fondness and gratitude... but what was his name!!??!!

Darrell Woolley?

”Male midwives might have won new friends but they still have to prove they are up to the job. Darrell Woolley, 27, is a community midwife on the White City Estate in west London. He recalls how life as a new practitioner wasn't easy. "I came across some frosty attitudes, especially from the older, more established female midwives," he says. "But they were fine once they got to know me."
After two years as a midwife, Darrell is a popular figure, based at the Queen Charlotte hospital birth centre - one of several midwife-led units springing up around the country. He works on a community one-to-one scheme, which allows women to be cared for by the same midwife throughout their pregnancy. His relaxed manner and natural approach to childbirth has prompted women who had babies delivered by him to pass his name to their friends.
Like many in the profession, Darrell decided to become a midwife while studying as a nurse. No one was surprised by his decision. "I'm from a large family, and midwives and babies were the norm in my household," he explains. "All my friends agreed that I would make a really good midwife."

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2003/may/14/familyandrelationships.nhs

There was a Scottish midwife called Fraser back in the early 00's. I'm not sure where he worked though. But Scottish and male midwife... can't be too many!

I've got his surname now. If you think it might be right, PM me.

No not Darrell Wooley (I saw that article too - thank you)
Not Fraser either.

Annoyingly I've found an old mumsnet thread, from the right period in time, that references him 'A fantastic Glaswegian male midwife at Queen Charlotte's - but the poster doesn't name him.

The Fraser I'm looking at, his wife is also a midwife. What a coincidence for it to not be him 😆.

Is it on the discharge summary, OP? I still have mine... from 9 years ago. 😳

I came across another male midwife - also worked at Queen Charlottes and ALSO married to a midwife - not Fraser and not my midwife either! Apparently there are less than 200 male midwives in the UK. I must be able to find him!

Well, how bloody weird 🤣.
If you contact the hospital they will be able to check your records (especially if they were digital, much easier to do so!).

I also had a male midwife in Queen Charlottes in 2011, but he was northern Irish. Given how few male midwives there are, weird how so many worked in one hospital lol.

@FromEden - I've just found a reference to your Northern Irish midwife - John Dolan! He sounds fantastic from the article I read. Not him though. Perhaps QC are big fans of the male midwife?!

I've just found another 'vintage' thread that references the chap I think I'm looking for. I've PM'd the poster.

What a ridiculous thing to be obsessing over.

Hi, I’m the poster you DM’d. I had my second at QC’s in 2008 which seems such a long time ago - my son is 14 now!
I think the midwife was called Graham but that is completely dredged out of my subconscious and I’m not 100% sure.
I could dig out the baby book which probably has it in but maybe that jogs your memory?! I don’t think I ever knew his surname.
He was amazing - really calm and reassuring when my son arrived in a huge hurry. I think he commuted down to work and lived in Scotland when he was off.
Let me know if you want me to check the baby book (am away from home tonight)!

What an incredible thread!

My two (both women) were lovely and I have very clear memories of them both.

DS1 was born at Queen Charlottes in the last weeks at the Goldhawk Road site at the end of 2000. Workmen were actually unplumbing the sinks and removing equipment while we were on the recovery ward. My midwife was Nia, who was definitely a woman, and there was a Denise who was utterly wonderful. I was asked if I would mind having a male midwife if Nia was on holiday when I gave birth, as there was a male midwife on the staff, but I didn't actually meet him. I wouldn't have minded, I would have been happy with anyone who could get DS1 out safely, which Nia did admirably.

I've just found a reference to your Northern Irish midwife - John Dolan! He sounds fantastic from the article I read.

Amazing, thank you! I had no memory of his name at all but I still remember his nice, calming voice.

@Fluffyflowerpot GRAHAM!!!! That's him. Thank you.

He was bloody amazing. The calmest, most reassuring but also 'no fuss' midwife

I was having contractions on top of contractions with no respite despite only being about 6cms, and having delivered DD 18 months earlier drug free in the birthing pool in their birth centre, I was feeling a bit NCT brainwashed feeble going up to the ward and asking for epidural, but Graham looked at the monitor and said "goodness - We'll all be wanting an epidural if this is you at 5cms". He made me feel so much better about my choices and was just the best. Thank you so much to everyone who tried to figure it out.

Only on Mumsnet could you post "could a stranger please tell me the name of my midwife from 15 years ago" and get the right answer!

This is an incredible thread. It just shows how much of an impact good midwives can have. Having had 4 DC, I can remember both the good and the not so good.

Judy, who delivered my middle DC, will always be close to my heart for how she stayed so calm, no-nonsense and stress-free in what was a rather frantic, speedy, almost in the hospital carpark delivery, and how she validated me after the delivery and even validated the horrendous experience I’d had 3 years earlier with DC1. I’d never had an official debrief after that delivery and she gave me an unprompted, unasked for, unofficial one after reading my notes, following delivery #2 and it gave me my confidence back after 3 years of feeling dismissed and silenced.

What a lovely thread.

I had DS there in 2008 and had the wonderful male midwife from N. Ireland called John! My friend did too.

They had some good midwives there!

Happy to help
I was sent away as I was definitely apparently not going to have my baby in the next 24 hours but we stayed downstairs in the cafe thank goodness as things went from 0 to 100mph in about 20 mins, raced upstairs and I delivered without having time to take my skirt off! Graham was totally unfazed by my near hysteria on arrival in the delivery room (and my DH who was flapping about in a panic) and got everything under control in seconds. I was meant to be consultant led for various reasons but the consultant only arrived in time for the placenta (rather to Graham’s satisfaction!). Said DS is now in year 9.
As PPs have said, good midwives should know that we remember them years after - I hope any reading this thread get a well-deserved warm glow!

Hi there!

I also googled Graham today and found this thread. I feel quite emotional about him because I went in in 2003 aged 24 with my first baby a bit too early and Graham allowed me to stay on the ward even though Labour hadn’t started. I ended up delivering a 10lb 4oz boy and looking back I wonder if graham realised how big he was! Wonderful man

I've just seen this update - how amazing. I wish I could send him a link to this thread to show him what an impact he had.

Agree, good midwives make the difference between a happy memory of childbirth and a traumatic one. Assuming no real complications, pain etc is all made so much more manageable with the right person at the helm.