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Original poster

Am I strange or do is this the normal?

35 replies

imthewallrus · 03/05/2023 17:16

Genuine question here because I'm starting to think im being too familiar... I have started a job this week as a classroom assistant in a school ( im loving it) as it's a high school, im always moving about during the day and in the mornings before I officially start there are teachers on the front doors and corridors. Now this is were I think I'm maybe the weirdo but I find most teachers completely blank me when I'm passing ie turn away in an attempt to avoid saying hello. This is so alien to me because I'm
Used to being treated like an adult and other staff members greeting or at the very least saying hello ( or even a nod) as they pass . Is this just me being too familiar I just thought it was courteous to do this. Am I wrong? Or do teachers see classroom assistants as beneath them?

OP posts:

ShinySherry · 03/05/2023 17:31

YADNBU - This is really rude. Sounds like you need to find a school with a less hierarchical culture.

FrogFairy · 03/05/2023 17:36

Rude fuckers.
when my son was at school there was one teacher who would only speak to other teachers. Other staff were beneath her and she would blank them.

Original poster

imthewallrus · 03/05/2023 17:37

I was really hoping I wasn't being unreasonable. I came home to my partner last night and he said the same. Im also a 42 year old woman so I'm not some young student either- that still should make a difference btw. It's making me very unsure how to compose myself when I see teachers walking my direction as I don't want to be rude and say nothing yet I feel really awkward. It's a very strange feeling, one that I am not used to.

OP posts:

tailinthejam · 03/05/2023 17:41

I was a parent helper at my dc's school many moons ago and most of the staff treated me like dirt. Talk about being looked down on.

They had to change their tune though, when I turned up to audit the school's finances 😂

forrestgreen · 03/05/2023 17:42

Some might be mentally psyching up for day??
Just say hi and move past.

RoseslnTheHospital · 03/05/2023 17:43

It's rude. When I was teaching I would always say hello and have a quick chat with the TAs. If you were new I'd say hi and try really hard to remember your name.

I did come across some teachers who did see teaching as very hierarchical, with TAs being at the bottom. Maybe it's because there is a hierarchical responsibility structure and that can produce a social hierarchy too. I always viewed all the adults working in the school as equal but different, all working to benefit the students.

Needmorelego · 03/05/2023 17:44

Do you say "Good Morning"? They might be thinking "Blimey that new lady doesn't say much" .

QuickGuide · 03/05/2023 17:46

My dad (who was a teacher) used to say all teachers have terrible social skills and don't actually know how to talk to adults.

Obviously that's a ridiculous generalisation, but I think lots of people find it difficult to talk to someone they don't know, then once you've been there a while it's hard to ask who you are 😆

It's probably discomfort rather than deliberate rudeness.

VisionsOfSplendour · 03/05/2023 17:49

I don't quite understand, what are you saying to them?i in what way are you being too familiar?

SmileyClare · 03/05/2023 17:49

Seems strange. Do they acknowledge the students walking in the doors? Smile, nod, make eye contact?

Have you tried a cheery Morning! in the direction of the teacher you’re walking past? I think that’s what I’d do.

The only reason I’d avoid making eye contact and greeting someone at work is if they were a well known person that talked endlessly, you know when you ask;
How are you? And they offload for 20 minutes about their fungal toenails and the state of the staff car park etc..

TheSnowyOwl · 03/05/2023 17:51

It depends. Is this how they are to another teacher walking past or are they just zoned out or avoiding everyone?

RoseslnTheHospital · 03/05/2023 17:52

Just a thought, do you mean they're on duty supervising the corridors and at the front doors? If so then they don't have time or attention for much more than a quick "morning".

But, some of the most unprofessional behaviour and bullying I've ever come across in the workplace happened when I was teaching. So, it's entirely possible they're just rude cliquey sods.

SmileyClare · 03/05/2023 17:54

I don’t want to be rude and say nothing

Go with a Morning/afternoon in their general direction, or a brief Glad it’s Friday, lovely weather or whatever as you pass?

CosyKnits · 03/05/2023 18:06

I was (briefly) a school receptionist in my early twenties - only one teacher spoke to me the entire two months I was there and that was to ask me out! All the other support staff were lovely and had much the same experience as I did.

They sound rude, you sound lovely - I would stick to a quick smile and a "good morning" if you feel like it from now on.

Original poster

imthewallrus · 03/05/2023 18:08

Needmorelego · 03/05/2023 17:44

Do you say "Good Morning"? They might be thinking "Blimey that new lady doesn't say much" .

I do but some literally ignore or just off bad vibes. I have no idea why this is, I've never experienced it before and I have had conversations with previous CEOs and very senior managers in previous jobs and never have I ever felt not good enough

OP posts:

SmileyClare · 03/05/2023 18:15

Give it time, you only started what? Yesterday? Don’t write all the teachers off yet and assume bad intention.

Id advise staying cheerful- friendly Good mornings in their direction until they start respond

SmileyClare · 03/05/2023 18:22

I think it’s too early to assume bad vibes just yet. You’re a new face, perhaps it’s assumed your a parent or something and teachers don’t want to get into conversation when they’re “on duty”

Do you have a staff room? What’s it like in there? Probably easier for small talk on a break.