Who would you choose to speak to aliens?

[Beeinalily]

Apparently David Attenborough is the popular choice, but I certainly wasn't asked. My choice would be Roy Chubby Brown 😁And you?

A talking parrot 🦜

Tommy Tiernan

Maggie Aderim-Pocock. She would surely get so excited they wouldn't actually realise how amazing she is but she would also remember so many amazing details I bet.

Aderin. I don't know why my phone autocorrected that one.

My 7 yo.

He's gorgeous, sweet and would hug them, then he'd bore them rigid with talk of his Sonic the Hedgehog who he talks to / about as if he's real and he's invite them in to watch Captain Underpants.
Then they'd meet my 3 yo twins, and realise its the smaller ones who are crazy.

They'd agree to never invade and to totally have our backs if the Greys come for us , and they'd offer to take us back to their home planet for a visit and so DS can meet all the toddler aliens, which he'd love.

It would be the start of an intergalactic relationship between the planets.

DS would marry their daughter Oaodvkfe and we'd start a new wave of species.

Lee Mack

Boris

So many different scenarios to cone up with!

I would maybe go with a duo.

Liam Neeson - lovely voice and he has a “particular set of skills” which would hopefully come in handy if things went tits up. And I would maybe pair him with Mary Berry as she could just soothe most situations with some fabulous baking.

If my old cat was still with us, we wouldn’t have an alien invasion problem. One look from him, as their spaceship opened, would have ensured that they would never darken our globe again 🤣

Does it have to be an English speaking person?

Barack Obama. But no it doesn't have to be an English speaking person.

They're aliens, we can assume they speak any language, human or otherwise

Agree the Obamas would make the perfect welcome party.

If Channel 4 then covered it as well, then maybe Ed Gamble and James Acaster?

Jacinda Ahern, Marianne Williamson, Greta Thunberg, Olivia Coleman...

Definitely a woman. No doubt about that.

Michael Sheen

I still can't believe nobody has said Gemma Collins yet. The aliens could spend years learning and perfecting their English - and they still wouldn't have a clue

They're aliens, we can assume they speak any language, human or otherwise

Are you assuming this based on their objectively being aliens or just that this is an Earth-centric thought experiment?!

Were we to travel to Mars and find life there, we would be the aliens.... and plenty of us can't even speak our own language properly, let alone any other language in existence!

Not trump as they would obliterate us all immediately

Prof Brian Cox. He would ask all the right questions and come back and explain it to the rest of us in terms we sort of understand.

Hard disagree: Trump would be by far the greatest person in the world to do the job.

Source: DJT

Karl Pilkington.

Someone we could afford to lose because let's be honest whoever we send is definitely not coming back. Putin, Boris? Joey Essex?

Have we established yet what our intentions and circumstances would be?

Would it be friendly or hostile? Would it be mutually beneficial or would it matter far more to one of us than the other? Would we be trying to impress them, just foster good relations or convince them not to obliterate us all?!

I just want to remind everyone of what happened in Mars Attacks 🤭

We'd definitely need a show of strength with an intelligent and decisive demeanour 🤔

Obviously Will Smith or Tommy Lee Jones, they have experience.

Yeah, there isn't a universal translator powerful enough or a babel fish evolved enough to take on that job.