How do I get invited?

[60biowipes]

Feeling a bit wounded and wondering if I'n the common denominator.

How do people get invited to nice things?

My bf said he was too busy to spend bank holiday with me but went to a "surprise" concert with his friend. I strongly suspect he lied and knew he was going.

My friends always cancel on me citing illness or some other problem then I see them doing something else.

The stories are always so elaborate.

My parents only tolerate me so they can see DC.

School mums never reciprocate offers of coffee/playdates.

I tend to push my way in or beg or buy things for others so I can do things, or I go alone.

I always make sure I buy things, I buy concert tickets, I buy meals, I treat people nicely. I give my time.

Just bloody once I'd like to be invited instead of being overlooked, buying it or having to plead.

I don't smell or have niche views. I am clean, neat, tidy, have nice manners, and I'm kind and generous with my time/money.

I've tried joining clubs. I've tried online. I've tried volunteering. Its always the same. Will it be like this forever?

Unfortunately the majority of people...just don't care. They have their own lives and usually they revolve around work or family and the time they get free they tend to want to spend to themselves.

I find the more effort you make the less they do.
Much better to just develop your own interests and treat other people as if they are passing company. Politely but not going out of your road running after them.

Sometimes a rare person will click and over time a solid friendship will form. Even then you're reliant on you both having enough free time to spend any together though.

But my advice would be that being extra nice tends to attract the wrong sort. Users. Treat them to coffee sure, but if they don't arrange to return the favor next time, drop them. Because they not only don't have the time for you, they clearly don't have the respect either.

Respect your own time. You don't owe anyone anything for hanging out with you.

You just haven’t found your tribe yet. It took me until 41 to find a group of friends that treat me with respect.
Keep meeting people and stop trying to buying friends. Go to stuff on your own rather than pay for someone else. And get rid of the boyfriend, you are worth so much more than what he is offering. It will happen, it just takes time. They key is to find new people, not bother with ones that aren’t interested.

Sorry no advice! Just didn’t want to read and run.

I am in the same boat and I remember being popular few years back.

My theory is at the superficial level people like to go with those who are popular and already have a big network of friends. So if you seem to be a dead end socially then you’re not that exciting. Obviously by you here I mean myself as I don’t know your circumstances.

I moved 1000s of miles away from social network and have not been able to establish a new one. Obviously people don’t exclude you consciously just that you drop on the priority list.

interestingly my 10 year old daughter had a similar problem in her school. She was excluded from all the popular cliques and she noticed there were many others in her year that were in similar situation so she slowly built a group of all the other lonely hearts. The group grew and they all had a smashing year 6. It is easier done at that age though. We as adults need more than lonely heart to communicate.