Do you ever think about an ex love?

[quirkyquerty]

I'm happily married with 2 young ds. Very occasionally ex boyfriends might come up in conversation, and I might think of them then, but not very often. It's not something I'm thinking about day to day, yet I have so many dreams that involve my first proper boyfriend, it's really strange. I haven't mentioned it to DH, not sure what he'd think, but it happens quite regularly.

The man in question is someone I dated for nearly three years through university, he cheated on me on a lads holiday and then I ended the relationship very abruptly. We haven't spoken since but as 11 years have passed, we have friends in common as we're from the same town, and we have followed each other on Instagram for years. He's married, too, we never speak.

Isn't it strange that I keep dreaming of him? It's never naughty dreams, but in them I'm always his girlfriend. I hated him when we broke up and realised he'd been an arse for a good proportion of our relationship.

Anyone else have anything similar?

I don’t think about them. But I’ve had three exs email me over the years. I’ve been with current DP for over 10 years and last year had an ex randomly email me! Made me wonder why, like what did he want from the email? I just ignored them.

They must be having the dreams

Yes I have very similar dreams quite frequently.

Totally normal op, apparently it means your subconscious is still trying to make sense of something from that time thus it brings you back there. Hopefully it'll pass as time goes on

Yes I have frequent dreams about my boyfriend from uni. We ended rather abruptly and we were both utterly heartbroken. They have lessened in the last couple of years, but they are so vivid and we’re either in a relationship or I’m waiting for him to decide if he’ll take me back. Tragic!!

Not an ex love.

An absolutely beautiful man I spent an evening deep in conversation with in second year at university. I'd already been with my husband a year though.

He was like a more handsome Heath Ledger (not even my type usually) somehow, and we hit it off enormously. Spent all evening completely focused on each other.

It was a club social, so he eagerly asked if I'd be coming again. I said yes, but I actually flaked on the club in the end and our paths never crossed again.

He was stunning, and we clicked immediately. I'd have been all over him like a rash if I were single.

I do wonder about him every so often!

Yes, very similar to the OP.

BF from age 19-25, split when he created on me. I was absolutely heartbroken. I'm early 40s now, still dream about him. We're both younger in the dreams, sometimes together, sometimes not.

It was the most intense relationship I've ever had & I assume my unconscious still is working through it.

I dream about my ex about once a week, we split up nearly twenty years ago! I assume it’s my mind still trying to process what was a very messy and unhealthy relationship, which (as I was 18) hit me very hard and affected me in lots of long term ways.

in the dreams in often trying to persuade him to be with me, or we are already in a relationship. I’ve been happily married for nearly ten years, and I’m not really in contact with my ex at all (we follow each other on social media but haven’t seen each other in person for about 15 years). I feel unbelievable guilt about the dreams but I don’t know how to stop them!!

Yes. I have dreams about my ex often and we are always together in them. I never dream about my husband, oddly enough.

Very similar to you - we were together 5 years from 18-23 at Uni and it ended abruptly. I haven’t seen him for 12 years since he organised a get together and drinks in London for all our old Uni crowd. We are Facebook friends so I have an idea what he’s up to and vice versa, but neither of us are on social media very much. He lives abroad now, apparently happily married with DCs. Same as me in the UK.

I think this is what happens if a relationship doesn't run its course in a natural way.

I find dreams can also occur about other aspects of life that change abruptly and unexpectedly.

Yes. Think/dream about 1st g/f. Together for about 3 years. She dumped me (can still remember what was playing on the jukebox in the pub at the time). I think this is normal.

I often have dreams (not naughty ones) about a BF who dumped me 30 years ago.

I frequently have dreams that are set in the house owned by the parents of a BF I split from 17 years ago.

Yes I do.

I often have dreams about someone I dated briefly before I met DH. It ended as quickly as it started and I was utterly besotted with him. It was a high energy, high stress relationship, that I got no closure on. I met my DH a few weeks later and knew instantly that he was ‘the one’. We are blissfully happy.

I still have occasional friendly contact with the guy, a happy birthday on Facebook maybe, and don’t really think much of it, but then I will dream about him. It’s my brain still trying to make sense of what went on and the way we split up. It was intense and he was really really bad for me.

I still have dreams that involve my first 'proper' boyfriend. We had been best friends since junior school and were together for the last year or so of secondary school and college- we both moved away for Uni so broke up but there was no bad feelings there. We kept in touch over msn messenger and saw each other when we visited home for christmas.
He was lovely and we had a very chill happy relationship and did a lot of new experiences together- roadrips and a lot of house parties and concerts, days at the beach and we worked at a lot of festivals together. Just lots of easy, young, carefree time with him.
He died when he was 23 from meningitis. He was a lovely man, the dreams started after his funeral. I figured they were a way of processing what happened or just revisiting that happy young love time.
They used to make me sad or feel a bit guilty - like I was 'dream cheating' on my partner. But these days its just nice- like seeing an old friend again.

I occasionally dream about a guy who I went out with for a few months,in the early 80s,when I was18,and at college. I was really keen on him,but in the end we agreed to call it a day because our interests were so vastly different. He was heavily into motorbikes,which I hated,and liked hanging out with these tough bikers,which I found quite intimidating.
I probably dream about him 2 or 3 times a year,and yes, sometimes the dreams are quite naughty! 😅 But more often than not,I'm getting really upset because he hadn't phoned me,or he's not turned up to meet me as arranged.

I also dream regularly about an ex who I was with from 18-23. He left me for someone he'd met at work. In the dreams we are either together or he is with her and thinking about coming back to me. I've had no contact with him for 10 years and don't follow him on social media

Yep, I dream about an ex of mine. He was a terrible boyfriend and treated me like crap. Weirdly I don't dream about the boyfriends who were lovely and respectful to me!
Luckily i'm now happily married and also dream about my DH (not at the same time as the horrible ex!)

I often dream about an ex fling. I was very emotionally attached to him and in a very unhappy marriage. It ended quickly and I have remarried but I still have the odd dream. We were unsuitable in so many ways, but I still think of him.