Leaving 15 dd overnight

[HowdoIgetbacktothe80s]

Sorry the title is a bit misleading as I’m not leaving her on her own but just wondering if it’s a bit off to do so?
Dh and I have just purchased a touring caravan.
We have a rescue dog who is very nervous with new situations so we are slowly introducing him to the caravan and dh is having the occasional night sleeping in there with the dog (at the bottom of our garden) to get him used to it.
We want to start by having an odd Saturday night away, just half an hour or so away to get him used to being somewhere different before we have longer trips away.
The problem is that dd (15 next week) doesn’t want to come with us for these one nighters. She wants to stay at home with her 2 friends (they are all joining us on longer trips away and are looking forward to it).
It does say online not to leave under 16 year olds overnight. They won’t be completely alone though as 17 (nearly 18) year old ds still lives at home but he is always out and about and often stays round friends at the weekends, at last minutes notice, although if I asked him to stay at home overnight with them I’m sure he would (although I can’t 100% rely on him to do so!).
My sister and her partner live just around the corner from us so would also be a point of contact and my parents although elderly also live in the same village (mum has dementia so I can’t except dad to help too much but they are there just incase). So, I can rest assured there are people around should dd need anyone but it still leaves me a bit nervous. Dd is more than happy to stay at home with her friends (and there parents are fine with it) and she is a sensible girl.
Would you leave your 15 year old overnight in this situation, with family at hand?

cansu but she won’t be alone, ds will be there overnight.

I wouldn’t consider even thinking about leaving her if she was going to be on her own, ds wasn’t here and no family but I may have to juggle our plans. I certainly don’t want to be seen as a neglectful parent even though I seem to have done ok for the last 18 years lol!

Op IMHO it is fine.

Ppl on these threads always rank about teens having a party when left alone. Not my experience at all. If you don't know your 15yo well enough to know if they would behave sensibly or not, that's a huge issue.

My dc are not perfect for sure, but I trust them all in this area. That NSPCC advice (also includes the unhelpful suggestion never to leave an under 12 alone) makes me angry.

We need to give our teens credit fir their intelligence and good sense, if that is what we know of them. We left ds2 age 17 for a week as he didn't want to come on our holiday. He had some friends round for some gaming. The house was v tidy and clean when we got home. I knew it would be bc I know and trust my son. Don't let anyone tell you not to trust your daughter.

Thank you clary, I do truly believe that neither of my dc would have a party in the house or put themselves at risk, neither are that type and neither was I. My sister and I often had the house to ourselves when mum and dad would go away, it never crossed our minds to let a group of unknowns in to create havoc. I may be eating my words one day but I’m pretty sure I know my kids by now. I just wanted to know if it was something anyone on here would be comfortable doing. MN is certainly a strange place, on some threads people are reminiscing about the time they backpacked across the world at 16 but I ask about leaving my dd at home for one night with her brother there and family just around the corner is a safeguarding issue!

And yet at 16 she could legally have a baby and get married.

Op I don't know... Mine is 15 and v sensible but I'm not sure I would leave her yet

Bollocks. You might personally be concerned. That's just tough. There is no way its a safeguarding issue in of itself.

Yes, my 15 year old dc has stayed several times at a friend's house and their parents haven't been there. I was aware that no adult would be there, but was fine with it.

I knew the friend, the house and the other friends who were staying. All sensible dc with no dramas.

Yes it's a great idea out the dog first above your own kid

I have a 15 year old and I wouldn't be comfortable with doing it. I don't even really like leaving him in the evenings to go out. My issue, I'm sure he'd be fine but I'd feel like a bad parent somehow.

I had a baby 2 months after I turned 18 and that's probably made me more overprotective than my peers who had kids much later!

No. I wouldn't even leave my sensible 16yo over night. Kids are daft.

I did when I had an operation, DD was happy to stay alone.

Yes I would. One of my neighbours leaves her15yo DD (some family on same estate if she needs them) & all has been fine.

Yes I would and have previously.

Yes. if she is sensible

No not aged 15. We did it once DS hit 16, but 15 is still a child really.

What do you think a safeguarding issue is? If you think she'll be fine then you make that decision. What some random stranger on the internet says means nothing about whether it's safe or not.
FWIW I'm a social worker and I leave mine overnight and they are just shy of 15.

WilkinsonM
How do you square that with the fact that guidance suggests that under 16's shouldn't be left overnight?

I understand that many kids would be fine, but something could happen and questions would be asked as to why the child was alone.

The guidance is just that, guidance, not any kind of law.

And it comes from the NSPCC, not, for example the government. I am not aware that a charity holds any kind of legal sway here. The law is thst you may not neglect a child. Leaving them in the circs described by the op is not neglect.

As I said before, the same guidance advises that an under 12 should not be left alone at all - where does that leave all the Yr 7s for whom there is no childcare? Kids need to develop independence gradually, and never leaving them alone at all until age 12 isn't the way to achieve that. Terrible dangerous "guidance" that I for one refused to follow. My dc learned to be alone and to do things fir themselves bit by bit from a much earlier age.

I'm 37 so not a million years old. My mum would work nights and I'd be home alone in the early 2000's. I bloody loved it! Not a helpful comment for your situation but it reminded me of what I feel were simpler times.

Maybe do a trial run where you are a few doors down at the family members house?

Guidance is that under 16s shouldn’t be left overnight.

We left DS (14 and DD (17, nearly 18) for two nights recently. They were completely fine, neither is daft enough to have a party without permission.

You know your children, OP. Sone teenagers really are sensible. I was left at 15/16 and usually had a few friends around, but nothing major.

Your biggest risk is that they throw an impromptu party or at least take the opportunity to drink to excess or maybe try some drugs. I have friends who have been convinced their teens would never do such a thing and have been woken in the night by calls from the police or hospital after parties went wrong.

I think 15 is a bit young. We are planning to leave our 17 and almost 16yo alone for a weekend later in the year. But we are extremely close with our next door neighbours who will be over like a flash at the first hint of a party. And my brother lives locally so they’ll be instructed to head over there to stay if they don’t behave.

Personally I think leaving her with friends makes it more risky, rather than less. Kids egg each other on.

This though is one of those questions that entirely depends on the child.

The vast vast majority of 15yos would be absolutely fine. Of the four from this household who are now beyond that age three of them I wouldn’t have even batted an eyelid about.

DD2, because she had health issues and was a very easily led/ distracted teen (I still worry about her home alone in her 20s!) I’d have been massively hesistant.

So if there’s a specific reason you’re worried then no, I wouldn’t.

If it’s purely because guidance says 16 I would - arbitrary age guidance isn’t always remotely helpful.

Because the NSPCC guidance is simply guidance. 'Questions would be asked' well yes if something happened that was avoidable had an adult been present, but if the 14/15 year old is sensible and prepared and mature enough the chance of that is very slim. Calculated risks are part of life.