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Original poster

Thank you gift for very posh, elderly man

45 replies

TR888 · 01/05/2023 10:11

By posh, I mean Oxford-educated, wealthy, speaks like nobody else I've ever met. This is relevant because I'm not from the U.K. and am completely baffled by social class conventions here. It's so easy to do the wrong thing!

This gentleman is someone I know in a professional capacity. He's has gone to significant effort to help my son find a work experience opportunity, and I'd like to say thank you. I was thinking of getting him some Hotel Chocolat chocolates, but worry this might not be well received perhaps? Alcohol doesn't seem appropriate for someone who is 80+ but I might be wrong. Any ideas?

Thanks!

OP posts:

YouWithoutEnd · 01/05/2023 10:13

A tin of biscuits from Fortnums?

coodawoodashooda · 01/05/2023 10:13

A hand written note from your son and a bottle of something nice. Maybe some coronation type treat?

coodawoodashooda · 01/05/2023 10:14

It's your son who needs to do the thank you, with you helping him achieve it.

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Arginalia · 01/05/2023 10:15

I agree with the posh biscuits idea, plus handwritten thanks from your son - perhaps use a notecard that could be displayed.

SirChenjins · 01/05/2023 10:15

A hand written thank you letter from your son and a nice bottle of whisky or wine. I wouldn’t assume he doesn’t drink because he’s in his 80s!

Kissedbyfire1 · 01/05/2023 10:18

Definitely a card or letter. If he is indeed v posh, that will be sufficient. If you want to give more, nice food treats are low value (and therefore not embarrassing), so fancy biscuits etc.

readbooksdrinktea · 01/05/2023 10:18

I'm not from the UK either, but I would get your son to write a thank you note and maybe some nice biscuits or chocolates from F&M. That's what I did when someone went out of their way for me jobwise while I lived in England. I wouldn't buy alcohol.

NoraLuka · 01/05/2023 10:19

A bottle of whisky or wine, or posh tin of biscuits/chocolates - I don’t think it really matters that much what it is as long as it’s a nice thing and your son writes a note to go with it.

Florissant · 01/05/2023 10:20

Definitely a hand-written thank you note. Perhaps some loose (not bagged) tea to go with the biscuits?

Offleyhoo · 01/05/2023 10:20

A card from your son and a nice bottle of red wine would be well received I'm sure.

Lampzade · 01/05/2023 10:20

Agree with the thank you card and some lovely tinned biscuits

CrapBucket · 01/05/2023 10:21

A card or letter is better/more appropriate than a gift.

Posh people rarely need more stuff and can buy their own biscuits 😜

Original poster

TR888 · 01/05/2023 10:27

Thanks! That's really useful. I'd have written the card myself but can see how it's more appropriate if it comes from my son.

Interesting to hear that some of you think the gift is not necessary. I'm a keen baker, what about baking him some biscuits?

OP posts:

Arginalia · 01/05/2023 10:31

TR888 · 01/05/2023 10:27

Thanks! That's really useful. I'd have written the card myself but can see how it's more appropriate if it comes from my son.

Interesting to hear that some of you think the gift is not necessary. I'm a keen baker, what about baking him some biscuits?

Hand baked biscuits are a lovely idea!

Florissant · 01/05/2023 10:32

Hand-baked biscuits are a lovely idea!

I'd stay away from buying alcohol unless you can buy the expensive stuff.

Luredbyapomegranate · 01/05/2023 10:41

A nice note - written by your son not you - is fine. You could also send a card if you like.

No need for a gift, but anything hand made, or nice chocolates or biscuits are fine.

Not booze - just because you'll have to spend a lot and it's just not necs.

Coffeeandbourbons · 01/05/2023 10:43

coodawoodashooda · 01/05/2023 10:14

It's your son who needs to do the thank you, with you helping him achieve it.

This.

A heartfelt tasteful card would be the best gift to be honest rather than something bought by his mum.

stbrandonsboat · 01/05/2023 10:46

Whittards do some very nice Earl Gray biscuits.

SallyWD · 01/05/2023 10:47

I have a 95 year old friend who very much welcomes wine and gin! But if you're not sure if this man drinks then yes you could get a tin of posh biscuits or chocolates.

Original poster

TR888 · 01/05/2023 10:49

Thanks! Another question. I'm going to see him tomorrow in a professional capacity. Am I ok to hand deliver the card or is it better to post ir?

OP posts:

DanceBeneathADiamondSky · 01/05/2023 10:51

I'd imagine booze and home baked biscuits would be well received. If he doesn't drink he can alway regift. I'd go gin. It's easier to get right. Wine is way harder and whiskey is quite personal. Lots of people hate it and the ones who love it can be quite particular?

DanceBeneathADiamondSky · 01/05/2023 10:52

Outgrabe · 01/05/2023 11:02

Just a note.

FinallyHere · 01/05/2023 11:05

Hand baked biscuits from you snd a hand written note from your son are the perfect gift in return. Anything you can buy, he will already have ... only if he wants it.

Just a thought about the letter. Get DS to practice on a piece of paper which is the same size. Maybe even compose it on screen but then write it out by hand.

When I have to hand write, it takes me a good few goes. The odd mistake won't matter too much, In fact it will be a sign that it really is all his own work

Lovely to be thanked in a appropriate way.

LadyLolaRuben · 01/05/2023 11:05

If you are seeing the gentleman tomorrow, I would give him his card and gift then. The card and gift need to be given together at the same time

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