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How balanced is your life? And what elements do you sacrifice?

31 replies

PapitoSpice · 01/05/2023 07:00

I’ve a theory that a good life is one that balances a number of items:

a) Family
b) Friends
c) Career / work
d) Health / exercise
e) Hobbies / learning

The problem is that it’s hard to find the time for all these, especially with young children. In my case, I find it hard to find time for friends and hobbies, after work, family, and exercise.

I’d like to spend more time learning a new skill, but with young children, the balance seems impossible.

Are you able to include and balance all these elements, or is it a pipe-dream? What do you drop?

OP posts:
kikisparks · 01/05/2023 10:18

Having just one child helps with the balance I think, no idea how we’d manage 2+.

Family- have a great connection with DD and good balance spending 3 full days with her plus holidays and seeing her 2-3 hours in evenings on other days plus usually breakfast and lunch together on WFH days. She has a good balance with 2 days in nursery, one with me, one with DH and one with grandparents. Weekends we like to get out and about as a family to parks, soft play, swimming, library, cafes, for walks, to meet friends, visit family etc. Connection with DH was a bit poor but we’re getting back on track, still some things to work on though which are connected to health.

Friends- those who have kids I see with DD, those without I can only manage evening phone calls, texts and very occasional meet ups. I feel guilty as I struggled with infertility for years and would have hated to be left out by those with children, but to be fair my two closest friends have kids too so that’s probably why we mostly do stuff with the kids.

Work- I’m doing ok, work 4 days compressed, just got promoted but struggling with concentration and worrying about whether I’m managing all tasks and performing as well as I could be.

Health - thankfully nothing at all serious but the number of colds, flu, sickness bugs, hand foot and mouth etc since DD started nursery has been intense! We do really struggle with the balance when we’re all ill. Exercise I don’t do much of. Go for walks with DD or on my lunch break, and occasional swim whilst DH watches her, I’m ok about it though.

Hobbies- I don’t really have any, when DD is asleep I’m content to read, watch tv, play ps5/ switch and when someone else watches her get occasional dates with DH to cinema, theatre, dinner etc.

Housework is the one that goes out the window most often, think we need a cleaner.

pompomdaisy · 01/05/2023 10:24

A good life just has one element- choice! If you lack that then it's shit.

arethereanyleftatall · 01/05/2023 10:53

I think one of the reasons that I have a good balance, as well as working part time, is that my hobby is exercise. So that's lucky, as I tick two in one.

MayDayMay · 01/05/2023 11:14

My list is
Friends
DH and grown up DC
DM who has Alzheimer’s
Hobbies
Travel
Home

I am fortunate to have a good balance now my DM is in a nursing home, before that I had no balance.

MyBloodyMaryneedsmoreTabasco · 01/05/2023 11:19

I feel I have a good balance for me, although to others it would be totally unbalanced. I only have 3 people in my entire family so that's not really a thing. I don't want a hobby and I don't exercise. I work a lot and I spend a lot of time on my own and both those things are very important to me. I am good friends with some colleagues so see my mates every day, other friends every couple of weeks. The balance works for me.

updin · 01/05/2023 11:30

What you've listed isn't all that I prioritise. At the moment it's 1) my nuclear family, 2) my career 3) my marriage 4) me! (And not necessarily in that order everyday)

I don't really have friends, we've moved around a lot, I have acquaintances but don't do a lot of socialising, I hope to change that one day but it's not a priority for me now.

By me I mean time to myself, tv, beauty treatments etc. I hate exercise so apart from a daily walk it's just not something I am prioritising currently. Try to eat mostly well though.

But when in the throws of family life I think it's really important to spend time as a couple, and that's one that often drops off for others that I'm not willing to. As such we don't see wider family as much as I'm more likely to prioritise a quiet weekend with DH.

Don't really have hobbies, like to travel which goes in family and couple time. Learning for me is part of my career and done on the clock!

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