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Original poster

Sharing bedroom when have a spare room.

53 replies

Mynewhome · 30/04/2023 21:28

My oldest son recently left home. I live in a council house. I now have 4 children at home. This means the kids could all have a room each. The 2 children who share are age 7 and 8. The 7 year old wants his own room . But the 8 year old does not . He has special needs and is a bit younger than his age . I don't want to cause him Any stress and upset. But also I want to be fair to the 7 year old .

I'm not sure if i should leave them sharing 7 year old has not said to much about it. Should I just leave them sharing and only do something if the 7 year old mentions it again?

Or should I set up the spare room to make it feel more welcoming and see if he naturally starts going in there .

Also the room they share is really big. But the spare room is pretty small . So then who gers what room.

OP posts:
DoNotGiveMeHam · 30/04/2023 23:58

Agapornis · 30/04/2023 23:23

Bet the bedroom police's own children all have their own rooms Hmm

OP, sounds like you have a good way forward, please ignore those people.

No my don't. Both of mine have to share a room. Just don't understand why our taxes are spent giving someone a 5 bedroom house. Geez.

NewNovember · 01/05/2023 00:07

16 and over are entitled to their own rooms in council housing. Sorry op I thought it was a 4 bed.

IncompleteSenten · 01/05/2023 00:13

Oh god you should not have mentioned that it's a council house.

Now you'll get god knows how many rabid frothers outraged that you're not living in half a cardboard box at the side of the road. And some my taxes guff.

Brace yourself.

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Millie2008 · 01/05/2023 00:25

@DoNotGiveMeHam - apply for a council house yourself if you feel it's a superior option?

Millie2008 · 01/05/2023 00:25

IncompleteSenten · 01/05/2023 00:13

Oh god you should not have mentioned that it's a council house.

Now you'll get god knows how many rabid frothers outraged that you're not living in half a cardboard box at the side of the road. And some my taxes guff.

Brace yourself.

This.

TheSmallAssassin · 01/05/2023 00:32

DoNotGiveMeHam · 30/04/2023 23:58

No my don't. Both of mine have to share a room. Just don't understand why our taxes are spent giving someone a 5 bedroom house. Geez.

Show quote history

How are your taxes being spent on it? Council tenants pay rent you know, they don't get free housing 🙄

wingingit1987 · 01/05/2023 00:41

I would let the 7 year old have the smaller of the rooms. I wouldn’t make him share just to placate the older child.

Original poster
Mynewhome · 01/05/2023 07:14

IncompleteSenten · 01/05/2023 00:13

Oh god you should not have mentioned that it's a council house.

Now you'll get god knows how many rabid frothers outraged that you're not living in half a cardboard box at the side of the road. And some my taxes guff.

Brace yourself.

I never thought of that . I thought someone may have told me to move a wall to make the smaller room bigger. So that why I mentioned it was coincil.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mynewhome · 01/05/2023 07:34

DoNotGiveMeHam · 30/04/2023 23:58

No my don't. Both of mine have to share a room. Just don't understand why our taxes are spent giving someone a 5 bedroom house. Geez.

Show quote history

It's very hard to get a council home now. Its a very tough system. I spent several years in temporary accommodation. And temporary accommodation is pretty awful.

Normally I would have to wait another several years. To get housed. But my situation changed which put us under the category of life in danger . Which it was led us to the house we are in now .

What should I have done refused it ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mynewhome · 01/05/2023 08:30

IncompleteSenten · 01/05/2023 00:13

Oh god you should not have mentioned that it's a council house.

Now you'll get god knows how many rabid frothers outraged that you're not living in half a cardboard box at the side of the road. And some my taxes guff.

Brace yourself.

And what is wrong with a card board box. They are made pretty well theses days . Even half a box is pretty good . And they are recycled so environmentally friendly to 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Mynewhome · 01/05/2023 12:10

They are now saying they want to carry on sharing but they want the small room to be a gaming/sensory room. Don't know how the gaming side comes into it as they don't have a PlayStation/xbox here.

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 01/05/2023 12:13

Listen to your 7 year old, he is telling you he needs space. He’s not an emotional support human for another child.
I agree with this and would keep communication open so they feel they can talk about their feelings freely. You don't want them closing down or feeling obligated to centre their sibling's preferences over their own desire for privacy in an age appropriate way.

There's no need for rush decisions.

Original poster
Mynewhome · 01/05/2023 12:21

LolaSmiles · 01/05/2023 12:13

Listen to your 7 year old, he is telling you he needs space. He’s not an emotional support human for another child.
I agree with this and would keep communication open so they feel they can talk about their feelings freely. You don't want them closing down or feeling obligated to centre their sibling's preferences over their own desire for privacy in an age appropriate way.

There's no need for rush decisions.

I think your over thinking. I have not said at any point that the 7 year old is emotional support for his brother .

OP posts:
DoeRayMe · 01/05/2023 12:22

I'd make the small room their bedroom and the bigger room the play area

Original poster
Mynewhome · 01/05/2023 12:26

DoeRayMe · 01/05/2023 12:22

I'd make the small room their bedroom and the bigger room the play area

It's way to small for 2 beds. Bunk bede would not work either.

OP posts:
aSofaNearYou · 01/05/2023 12:28

I think your over thinking. I have not said at any point that the 7 year old is emotional support for his brother .

Tbf you did say in your OP that the reason you weren't sure about giving your 7 year old their own room was because it would upset your 8 year old. That very much implies the above. It's a non issue if they've decided they want to carry on sharing but I think you need to be careful about that.

Original poster
Mynewhome · 01/05/2023 12:42

aSofaNearYou · 01/05/2023 12:28

I think your over thinking. I have not said at any point that the 7 year old is emotional support for his brother .

Tbf you did say in your OP that the reason you weren't sure about giving your 7 year old their own room was because it would upset your 8 year old. That very much implies the above. It's a non issue if they've decided they want to carry on sharing but I think you need to be careful about that.

I said it could cause stress and upset for the 8 year old . But i also said I want to be fair on the 7 year old . So taking them both into account. I still never said said that the 7 year old was emotional support for the 8 year old. It just meant if its done I may need to do it in a bit more of a sensitive way .

OP posts:
booboo82 · 01/05/2023 12:58

Why has my comment been deleted ? It's a fair comment ! Shortage of social housing and people blocking houses by having bedrooms they no longer need !

Original poster
Mynewhome · 01/05/2023 13:08

booboo82 · 01/05/2023 12:58

Why has my comment been deleted ? It's a fair comment ! Shortage of social housing and people blocking houses by having bedrooms they no longer need !

Oh maybe it was reported. I don't get why it would be removed though.

I know of the shortage of housing believe me I have been there. On my tenancy it says the house is suitable for between 4-9 people I fall within that.

OP posts:
caringcarer · 01/05/2023 13:42

Silvergoldandglitter · 30/04/2023 22:01

Isn't it a 5 bedroom house if all 4 children can have their own room and op presumably has a bedroom or am I misunderstanding something?

Show quote history

She has 4 children but one left home so 3 left at home and room for her so 4 bedrooms.

Original poster
Mynewhome · 01/05/2023 13:49

caringcarer · 01/05/2023 13:42

She has 4 children but one left home so 3 left at home and room for her so 4 bedrooms.

Show quote history

No I said I now have 4 children at home. I have a 5 bedroom one recently left home leaving 4 children.

OP posts:
caringcarer · 01/05/2023 22:49

Mynewhome · 01/05/2023 13:49

No I said I now have 4 children at home. I have a 5 bedroom one recently left home leaving 4 children.

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Ok, I got a bit muddled up. I didn't know there were any 5 bedroom council houses. I thought just 2, 3 and 4.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 01/05/2023 23:06

I know your 7yo has now said he wants to share, but I would give them separate rooms with the option of sleeping in together if they want to.

Notsuretoputit · 01/05/2023 23:20

Do people understand that council house tenants still pay rent? You’d think OP was living there free of charge.

Original poster
Mynewhome · 01/05/2023 23:55

caringcarer · 01/05/2023 22:49

Ok, I got a bit muddled up. I didn't know there were any 5 bedroom council houses. I thought just 2, 3 and 4.

Show quote history

I don't think 5 is common compared to 4,3,2

OP posts: