Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Did I do anything wrong? Friends angry at me

23 replies

takeofoog · 30/04/2023 13:12

6 weeks ago my friend asked me to go on a night out just me and her last night.
I said I couldn't as I had plans today and didn't want to feel rough for them
I said I can do the week after.
She said that was good
All week she's said she wanted to go out (last night ) but had no babysitter so was staying in

Then yesterday afternoon she texts saying she has a babysitter and her and partner are going out.
It got to 7 pm last night and my partner said shall we pop to local for a couple and be home by 10.
I said okay but I was just having 2 gins
Friend text asking what I was up too so I told her I just popped to the local

Anyway she is mad and hasn't spoken since because I said no to going out with her

OP posts:
Chellybelle · 30/04/2023 13:23

No you did nothing wrong. You're allowed to decide who you spend time with. It's not like you told her you'd go then blew her out last minute.

mosiacmaker · 30/04/2023 13:27

She obviously just has hurt feelings that you could have met up with her but didn’t. Just explain what happened and reassure her you’d love to go out with her when you can.

GloomySkies · 30/04/2023 13:28

Depends a bit. What sort of night out was she proposing, do nights out with her normally get messy? You need to explain that you had a very quiet drink in the pub with your partner, not a big wild drinking session like you would have with her, and you were clock watching the whole time because of your plans today, which you didn't want to have to do on a proper night out with her.
On the other hand, if she is the sort who is happy to have dinner and one drink, and you rejected her to do the same with someone else, then yes super rude.

Babyroobs · 30/04/2023 13:29

Yes I'd be annoyed with you in this situation.

zurala · 30/04/2023 13:29

You told her you couldn't see her because you weren't going to go out. Then you went out. Of course she will be upset. I don't understand why you can't see that.

blahblahblah1654 · 30/04/2023 13:30

She sounds very sensitive and high maintenance. I find it difficult to maintain friendships with people like that. You'd be walking on eggshells all the time

Original poster
takeofoog · 30/04/2023 13:30

No it would have been a lot of drinks
She lives over a hour away too so I would of had to drive back this morning or take public transport

OP posts:
nidgey · 30/04/2023 14:06

Just say to her please don't be angry, you and your husband needed to talk something through and went out to do so, it's different than being out out

DanceBeneathADiamondSky · 30/04/2023 14:10

She's probably being oversensitive, but you did say you weren't going out and then went out, so it does look slightly as if you just didn't want to go out with her. That said, it wouldn't occur to me to be annoyed if a friend did this.

custardbear · 30/04/2023 14:14

It's fine, you went out, not out out

Ragwort · 30/04/2023 14:16

Are you all 13?

drpet49 · 30/04/2023 14:31

zurala · 30/04/2023 13:29

You told her you couldn't see her because you weren't going to go out. Then you went out. Of course she will be upset. I don't understand why you can't see that.

This. Can you really not see how bad it looks and why she is upset?

regenerista · 30/04/2023 14:38

zurala · 30/04/2023 13:29

You told her you couldn't see her because you weren't going to go out. Then you went out. Of course she will be upset. I don't understand why you can't see that.

Popping to the local for a couple of drinks with your partner isn't the same as travelling an hour each way for a big night out with a friend, especially when that friend didn't even get a babysitter til the last minute 🙄

HelpMeGetThrough · 30/04/2023 14:41

Sod her, if she's angry, leave her to it. She'll either get over it, or not.

NeatCompactSleeper · 30/04/2023 14:43

I don't blame her really.

You went out drinking last night for 3 hours.

You could've gone with her and had your 2 gins.

Chellybelle · 30/04/2023 14:48

drpet49 · 30/04/2023 14:31

This. Can you really not see how bad it looks and why she is upset?

Show quote history

It's not the same thing. You can't compare the 2 situations. An equal comparison would be if she went on a night out with another mate or a casual date with a new partner. People do prioritise their long term partners or husbands over friends. She wanted a quiet night, what difference does it make that was in their local pub rather than at home?

tonystarksrighthand · 30/04/2023 14:50

Babyroobs · 30/04/2023 13:29

Yes I'd be annoyed with you in this situation.

Really bizarre! I can't believe anyone is that needy over friends

Original poster
takeofoog · 30/04/2023 15:34

She didn't want to go out for two hours tho
She wanted a night out in the city centre getting in 2 in the morning then I would have to drive home to leave for today at 9am to get home in time

OP posts:
ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 30/04/2023 15:37

I'd have probably wanted to see you if you could make it out even if it was for one, but I wouldn't have made a big deal out of it.

All seems a bit of a big deal out of nothing.

RavenclawLuna · 30/04/2023 15:40

She's probably just hurt that you said no to her but went out with your husband to your local. Doesn't mean you did anything wrong. I would just apologise and say you were only out for two hours and a proper night out would have been a nuisance for you because you wouldn't enjoy your plans today.

Original poster
takeofoog · 30/04/2023 15:49

The ironic thing is last summer we had a day out planned and she cancelled a hour before because she went out the night before (un planned ) and was too hungover
I didn't make a song and dance about it tho

OP posts:
zurala · 30/04/2023 16:49

regenerista · 30/04/2023 14:38

Popping to the local for a couple of drinks with your partner isn't the same as travelling an hour each way for a big night out with a friend, especially when that friend didn't even get a babysitter til the last minute 🙄

Show quote history

There was no mention of an hour's journey in the OP. But in any case, then the excuse given was a lie. It wasn't that she didn't want to go out, it's that she didn't want to travel to go out, presumably due to getting back late. That's different. If she'd told the truth in the first place then the friend wouldn't be upset now. Still on the OP not the friend.

Original poster
takeofoog · 30/04/2023 20:40

My friend wanted a night out -as In staying out late getting drunk
I didn't -I wanted a couple of drinks and bed

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page