Wiping! TMI warning 💩

[TherapySquirrel]

I have a 4 year old DS who cannot seem to get the hang of wiping his bottom. He tries, but he just moves the poo around and makes it worse basically!

We've tried showing him how to do it on a doll, we've tried getting him to practice when he's not actually on the toilet, we've tried talking him through the process over and over again, I've even resorted to getting him to come into the toilet after I've been so he can see how I wipe myself but nothing has made a difference.

He starts school in September and I'm mortified at the thought of some poor TA having to wipe him, or DS trying to do it himself but ending up smeared with shit and smelling for hours until home time.

Anyone else had this problem with their DC? Any tips??

Just keep practicing with him. I’m a TA and we model how to wipe but don’t actually wipe unless SEN. We’d call you to sort him out.

You’ve still got a few months he’ll get it just keep helping him and encouraging him.

I think it's age. Dexterity, coordination etc. He will improve and will be better before he starts school. I know 8yr olds who still need to be checked here and there!

When my DD ventured into self-bum wiping for the first time she was gone in the toilet for ages .... I popped in to see what was happening and there she was like a flower fairy sitting on a flower with swathes of pink toilet paper all around her - she though you had to use the whole roll!!!

Really?
You call parents to come and wipe their child? So the child has to sit there until they arrive, how utterly ridiculous and so humiliating for the child.
What happens if you can't get hold of someone or they get stuck in traffic? 😳

I've left education now but worked in early years for decades. Bum wiping is part of the job, I never worked with a ta or teacher that felt differently.

She also refused to use the school toilet paper to blow her nose when she went to school with a cold but without a tissue. She said the paper was recycled and she was not going to blow her nose on THAT! I am sure you can imagine her misunderstanding!!

You have ages for him to get the hang of it.

Yes we call parents to come in if they can’t do it. We model how to do it. When they sign up that’s one thing the school says. We help if child is SEN

Dh and I both worked over an hour away from school, and that’s if we could be contacted immediately and there were no traffic delays. Do children really get left waiting for their parents? I’m glad my dc didn’t go to that school! They both started nursery a few weeks after their 3rd birthdays and bum wiping was still a skill that they were yet to completely master.

There's no way teachers are going to wipe your child's bum. Being independent in the toilet is all part of school readiness, which is up to the parent to prepare their child for.

Nursery isn't school? Three year old's don't go to school.

Most of the families surrounding the school have a stay at home parent, so it’s not that long normally. Most do a decent job with modelling. It’s all part of school readiness to teach them how to go to the toilet independently including wiping, dressing and washing hands.

I've was a reception teacher in the past and we would have wiped for them if necessary. Never really bothered me.

I was a foundation stage nursery nurse, myself and the various teachers I worked with over the years took it in turns doing the bum wiping!
I find it shocking that parents would be called, I hope it wasn't just Mum's that were called out of work for this!

Try this

No we call them in what ever order they indicate on the form.

He's only 4, he'll get better. My two always went for a poo before bath time as a habitual thing so rarely went at school anyway.

Our nursery (meithrin) was a class in school. They wear school uniform. They started the term after their 3rd birthday. We’re in Wales so I think it might be different if you’re not.

Teachers and TAs at DDs school didn't wipe bums and I wouldn't expect them to! Children have to learn to keep themselves clean. There will be a bit a few disaster pants to start with but they'll learn quick!

Tas or teachers don't wipe bums at my reception age dc. They try themselves and that's it
Weve had a few pairs of pants in a mess when get home

Have you tried him using a wet cloth rather than toilet paper?
He might find it easier to clean.

My ds age 4 is also struggling! He has a loose stool today and I found poo all over the wall and the sink. I advised him to use more than one sheet of paper.

skid marks are a regular feature of the early years at school so just get your laundry bowl ready for lots of soaking!

I don't expect them to wipe him, that's why I've asked for advice around teaching him to do it himself. I'm trying, and so is he but he's just not getting it.

That's what I'm worried about! DH and I both work, realistically we can't just be available to pop into school if he needs his bum wiping. That's why we're desperately trying to get him to do it independently.

Sorry, I wasn't having a dig at you, op; that was in response to someone claiming it's part of a teacher's role.