ASD and PIP and can this be an issue and cause judgement if you have dc?

[Anticipatingstress]

I have ASD, get PIP and cannot work. My Autism affects me hugely . I have dc though - I’m scared at some point professionals won’t see that although I can’t function in many day to day living situations for myself that I am a good parent?

My dh is my carer so what I struggle to do - he does. The only thing I can’t manage to do for dc is the school run. In all other aspects I’m a good parent but I can’t shake off the worry that someone will say ‘if you get this level of PIP for these difficulties then how can you parent?😞

Do people realise you can excel in one area and struggle so badly in others? Im worried how I’ll be judged and I wondered if any other people have autism and struggle but are doing well parenting ?

How sound anyone else be privy to your financials?

• would

I have ASD and get PIP and no one has ever questioned my parenting.

A few people (looking at you MIL) don't believe I'm autistic. But their personal opinion is just that. It has no relevance or bearing to my life.

I recommend working on your self worth and self esteem. It's really hard but essential to do.

The GP knows as obviously they know about my ASD diagnosis and for PIP I had to send medical letters so PIP have contact details . I assumed information gets shared all the time . I just worry about it

I have a family member too who seems a bit weird about me too and makes comments along the lines of ‘if you can’t do this how do you cope with the kids ‘ type of thing all the time

I don’t have autism but do have mental health issues that I receive PIP for. I sometimes worry about the same thing and when I filled in my PIP forms was terrified that it would result in a social care referral as even though I struggle looking after myself I am a good parent and take care of my children practically and emotionally well.

I’m not sure what the answer is but as someone said above - no one knows you get PIP so they shouldn’t be judging you.

I spend so much time and energy making sure I do my absolute best at parenting it’s almost an obsession. I feel like I have to try extra hard to compensate for any potential negative assumptions and it’s making me exhausted

Yes I feel like because someone gets carers allowance for me that they won’t understand how I’m then able to care for dc if that makes sense ?

Public services are so enormously overstretched, we have a hard enough time looking out for the kids who clearly aren't being cared for, without worrying about ones who are actually doing alright!

There's something like 16million disabled people in the UK, 1 in 4 people has a mental health issue - can you imagine if the state tried or wanted to intervene in all cases where those people have children? It would be utter madness and completely unachievable (not to mention unlawful).

I don't think social care will be interested as you are obviously coping. The difficulty comes in PIP assessments when they ask about tasks and then ask about who does what for your children. They spent about 15 mins asking me about how I manage to look after my cat's when I'm struggling so much But if those things correlate ok then it's fine..eg you are saying you can manage to do everything for kids in the house but can't leave the house with them and that's what you are saying to PIP then it's ok but they do struggle to understand/intentionally work to not understand nuance and complex conditions.

Maybe I’m just overthinking. It’s been a theme for my whole life to stress about being judged and I’m finding it exhausting.

I was very honest with them so they know everything dh has to do to help me, there are a few practical tasks so school runs is the main one, any appointments he takes them too as I have selective mutism which makes things so difficult. This is what a family member said about ‘oh how would you get help in an emergency if you can’t talk ???’

I think in your case it sounds totally fine and understandable that you can do xyz for the kids but not x for yourself. Try not to overthink it, I know it's hard but it sounds like you work really hard to be a good mum and that you have good support from DP.

Thankyou I think I just have a bit of anxiety because people don’t really understand and it’s hard for me to ignore that instead I feel like I have to prove myself when really I shouldn’t feel I need to

I have ASC and receive PIP. I also have MH issues that resulted in me making a suicide attempt in 2019. There was an automatic referral to child social services, who immediately saw that my children were not at risk of neglect or abuse and closed the case. Instead I received a lot of support from MH services, Early Help, and adult social care. My dc don't know, and will never know, what I did.

Simply being autistic is not a substantial enough reason to be investigated by social services.

No I understand. Because of my health conditions I don't have children but have recently claimed pip, and found the whole thing incredibly traumatic, because I work from home p/t and my health is complex and fluctuating I just felt very judged and disbelieved. I haven't really told anyone other than my partner and best friend (who did all the forms for me) because I hide a lot of my health stuff and other people only see me on 'good days' as they are the only day's I'd be out of the house.

Do u tell everyone u get pip and have ASD?

its obvious that I have autism I can’t hide that. Not many people know about pip , close family and my gp