Being meek never wins

[AssertiveGertrude]

just had to share - difficult mother (long history) and for the first time in my 40 years of being on the planet I finally had the courage to tell her to stop being so spiteful to me

plus when the day was done my child (who I didn’t realise was in earshot) said I’d give grandma a one out of ten !!!

small wins - new me !! No looking for responses as such but had to get this out there before I sleep

Few backstory points

as a child I was ‘boring’ and other people find me boring

wasn’t given support and she needed constant attention and had severe mood swings during my teen years

I left for uni 3 hours away due to this and my father supported and encouraged me

she spoilt all special occasions with hospital visits and drama showdowns that were fake

she caused a row with dh and my father in a devious way

she constantly demands things despite never buying me a Christmas or birthday gift ever but wants luxury hotel vouchers over 100 quid

she cries and threatens suicide

now she is staring on my children and saying they have problems and one is becoming a moaning unhappy person (9 years and is exactly the opposite)

I can’t go no contract but today was a big day

Good for you op. I think for me it was when DM started on DD I thought that's it, no more.

OP, have a look at the “Stately homes” thread on Mumsnet. It’s for the adult children of toxic parents, and will give you lots of support.
I would also suggest reading “Toxic Parents” by Susan Forward.
Well done for starting to assert yourself. Keep going - establish healthy boundaries and build your self esteem. More power to your elbow!

I’m shaking inside but proud of myself too

it really cut me deep when she started at my child

she’s lazy and sits there shouting making rude (don’t want to put here but you know out of order) comments about everything. Sucks the joy out. Is loud and self absorbent

i have had enough - when the kids (young) start noticing it - that tells a lot

Oh yes. My DC is very aware of it all and refuses to be left alone with her.