Back to Work Full Time - Who Does What at Home?

[KnackeredStoat]

As the title suggests, after many years of working part time around DC’s, I’ve just been offered an amazing full time job.

Currently I do most of the housework and cooking etc. DH works long hours - he’s often out of the house 12+ hours a day. DCs are older teens. One at College and works part time, other doing GCSEs so will likely get a part time job in the summer.

DH will do anything I ask of him, and usually cleans up after dinner but doesn’t really need do much else as I do it during the day. DCs both have certain jobs to do, but they should probably do more.

My new job is mostly WFH, although I will need to go to the office once or twice a week but my day will still be shorter than DH.

What do you think would be a fair division of task around the house? I don’t want to end up doing everything because I’m at home. It’s going to be a huge adjustment for me and I expect I’ll be exhausted initially.

Any input will be gratefully received.

I'd make a housework rota and get everyone's input while doing it.

Just make it crystal clear they all need to stick to it with no excuses.

Thank you. I love a spreadsheet and there will definitely be a rota. I just don’t know how to divide it all fairly.

Rahter than look at who does what I'd start by looking at what DC should be doing/learning how to do. So perhaps they should be cleaning their own rooms, ironing their own clothes and cooking one meal a week each (which means planning in advance, adding ingredients to shopping list, making it and clearing up afterwards).

Then look at the free time you and DH get. So if the time between your getting home and DH getting home is enough to do the basic putting on/taking out a wash and food prep then carry on doing that. If however he gets home, puts his feet up and you are still running around doing everything then he needs to have a job to do in that time. Things that get left to the weekend - cleaning bathrooms, your ironing, gardening etc etc need to be shared and its best to say that no one gets free time until they're done ie no long Saturday morning bike rides - he can have those on Sunday if he's done his time first. Ideally have a list of individual jobs and then a list of jobs to be shared depending on who finsihes theirs first. SO if eg you drop DC to an activity, come back and do the ironing and DH mows the lawn then he should finish sooner so should start the shared list - eg clean bathroom etc. You both carry on until all jobs are finished. (This approach has the advantage of stimying the male idea of doing a half arsed job and then saying that you do it so much better as they have to keep going ....).

Equal free time is the goal rather than equal jobs is fairer and if he is a bit useless to start with he should speed up with practice once he realises that he is losing out by procrastinating etc.