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Original poster

Child going out in evening if they’ve been off school poorly.

25 replies

User363637373737 · 28/04/2023 12:31

Please don’t tell me I am over thinking it, I know I am, I’m neurodivergent and over think things constantly.

ds developed a bit of a cold yesterday, he was off due to strikes. He was up all night last night coughing and was bunged up this morning so I kept him off school. He has Sen too, I felt it was the best idea as he did appear a little poorly, he goes school in a taxi and didn’t want him spreading it around in there and he’ll struggle at school with a blocked nose

but he has appeared to make a miraculous recovery since this morning and appears fine. Too late to take him to school, his routine will be all out and he’ll hate it.

but my question is, if your child has been off school poorly but better towards the evening do you let them go out?

he’s meant to be visiting a relative of his father tonight (they are aware he has had a bit of a cold), going for a walk and getting some take away on the way home.

would you still let him go although he’s not been at school? What about if someone from has school sees him knowing he’s been off?

am I just over thinking it??

OP posts:
TeenDivided · 28/04/2023 12:33

My rule of thumb is that if they have been off school then then stay at home, and no clubs etc.
But I'd be flexible, and do whatever I thought was in their best interests.

fUNNYfACE36 · 28/04/2023 12:35

It's fine as long as they aren't off hhe next day as well

StylishM · 28/04/2023 12:35

I think visiting a relative is fine, I wouldn't allow him to attend a club/party/cinema etc after a day off sick, but relative's house is a different story

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Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 28/04/2023 12:36

Usually I would say no. Poorly enough to be off, too poorly to go out. But he’s not going out with his mates and he feels better.

Don’t worry, let him go.

MrBit · 28/04/2023 12:36

No school then he stays in
Can he see the relative tomorrow instead ?
I think it sends out the wrong message for him to go

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 28/04/2023 12:37

I should add that I’m a nurse and mine have to have d and v or a limb falling off before getting a sick day at school. I am mean!

Original poster
User363637373737 · 28/04/2023 12:38

fUNNYfACE36 · 28/04/2023 12:35

It's fine as long as they aren't off hhe next day as well

Sadly he hasn’t got school until Wednesday now! 🤯😂

OP posts:
grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 28/04/2023 12:40

Visiting relative is ok, I think, provided he's well enough, and they are aware.

TUCKINGFYP0 · 28/04/2023 12:40

It’s a hard no from me, otherwise my kids would feel too ill for school a lot more than they do.

But your kid isn’t my kid .

QuickGuide · 28/04/2023 12:44

I wouldn't let them go to clubs or playmates but I'd allow this family trip.

Original poster
User363637373737 · 28/04/2023 12:44

TUCKINGFYP0 · 28/04/2023 12:40

It’s a hard no from me, otherwise my kids would feel too ill for school a lot more than they do.

But your kid isn’t my kid .

I get that. My son has special needs and he was up in the night coughing and really bunged up. I kept him off as he did look poorly as well as that I didn’t want to pass it onto the kids in a taxi. It is really hard to know what to do. I also knew that if he carried on feeling poop at school he will become really dysregulated! In hindsight he’s not too bad and should have gone in though… as he is much better!

OP posts:
Original poster
User363637373737 · 28/04/2023 12:44

QuickGuide · 28/04/2023 12:44

I wouldn't let them go to clubs or playmates but I'd allow this family trip.

Sadly he doesn’t really have either of these at the best of times x

OP posts:
MelchiorsMistress · 28/04/2023 12:47

I would keep them home from activities or play dates or anything like that, but visiting the non resident parent is fine.

MelchiorsMistress · 28/04/2023 12:47

Sorry, I think I read that wrong! I mean any family visit is fine

scrivette · 28/04/2023 12:53

I would allow him to go.

dimples76 · 28/04/2023 12:57

I would let him go out. I think that life is too short, if it's something that you would both enjoy. Sometimes people do recover quickly (especially as it seems like a mild cold). I don't know what your child's SEN are but if he was faking/exaggerating then it would not be a teachable moment for my son - he does not have the cognitive ability/executive function skills to think I had better not do that again as I will miss out on xyz.

By the way as a child the rule I was brought up with was the standard you can't go out if you have been off sick. But I would only apply that now if I thought that he could spread a bug or really needed to rest. I think that way mostly because of his SEN and also because he has taught me not to pay too much heed to the judgment of others. Recently when he had been off (ear ache) we went to the park in the evening as he really needed to stretch his legs. A neighbour said 'wasn't he off sick today' I just said that's right and carried on our way.

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 28/04/2023 13:09

Is he’s SEN then I would imagine he’s already out of sorts by missing school so even more reason to continue with planned outings.

You did the right thing to keep him off btw.

SweetSakura · 28/04/2023 13:10

My normal rule is no clubs/friends etc if they have been off school. but I might take a different approach in the example you give as it's family

myheartmyhead · 28/04/2023 13:24

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 28/04/2023 12:37

I should add that I’m a nurse and mine have to have d and v or a limb falling off before getting a sick day at school. I am mean!

I'm this parent too

Thegoodbadandugly · 28/04/2023 13:31

No school no outside here either and not did they get game machine time either.

TrivialSoul · 28/04/2023 13:53

If I felt that my child was sufficiently recovered for the evening activity and it wouldn't negatively impact their health then I would send them, no point in punishing them by missing out just because they happened to be ill earlier on.

UsingChangeofName · 28/04/2023 14:19

My rule was always if too poorly for school, then too poorly for going out.

that said, I'm not convinced I'd keep them off for being "a little poorly".
If too ill / infectious to go to school and I was concerned about sharing illness with school mates, then I wouldn't be inflicting those same germs on relatives / friends.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/04/2023 14:48

Generally too poorly for school. Too poorly to go out

But that's more for seeing friends /parties

I think a visit to family is ok

LanaL · 05/10/2023 09:29

I think you are overthinking it , you know him and know if he’s ok . I wouldn’t allow my child out to play with school friends if they had been off school but going out with family / for a walk etc yes I would allow that if they were feeling ok x

LakeTiticaca · 05/10/2023 10:00

You're overthinking. Let him go. Fresh air will do him good after being cooped up

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