Do you feel obliged to visit friends who live abroad?

[FriendsAbroad]

Just curious if others feel guilty if they don't visit?

I have friends abroad but one in particular is always asking me to visit her. I'm very fond of her and we're still friends but I hate flying and the country she lives in isn't one that particularly interests me, wildlife aside. I'm sure there's lots to enjoy there but it's pretty far down my hypothetical bucket list and it'd be very expensive to visit and I'm planning a move and would rather save money for that.

I don't expect her to visit me, though she does return to the U.K when she can. She's one of those lovely people who genuinely enjoys hosting people but if I did go I'd want to stay in a hotel because I need my space.

So I'm curious to know if others feel obliged to visit friends abroad?

Thank you for moving the thread for me, MumsnetHQ.

I have 2 friends abroad and they're both in places I'm not overly interested in (and really expensive flights). They also have families so staying with them just feels awkward. Personally I think that the onus is on them to visit if they're the ones who moved away. However, if the really needed me, I'd be there.

I have a friends scattered around a few different countries now but visiting them doesn’t ever feel like an obligation to me. So I don’t mind travelling. I quite like flying though; I can well imagine it’s a big chore if you don’t enjoy it.

Also when I’m visiting someone it’s primarily about hanging out with them, not seeing/doing bucket list stuff. In fact it’s quite nice doing live-like-a-local non-touristy things in (e.g.) Amsterdam or Montreal. I get to see parts of the cities that most visitors never get near.

I do usually sort my own accommodation though. I’m very much a hotel person, not a ‘put me up in your spare room’ person!

Thanks. Interesting to read others' perspectives. Glad I'm not the only one who doesn't staying with others. I think I'll continue to decline for now. She's lovely but I have no real interest in going to Australia, beyond the wildlife, not enough to spend so much money and time on it.

Good grief no. I love my friends but I also have limited time off work and a limited budget. The money/time off I do have to travel is spent on travelling to places I choose to visit with my family, not out of obligation to friends. If they are so desperate to see you, then they can come to you cant they? Its a bit cheeky to move miles away and then expect everyone to travel to you.

Obligated no, but I have visited friends in other countries (all of whom live there because they're from there, rather than having 'moved away'. We met when they worked in the UK).

Furthest was South Africa - I've been 3 times as I used to have 3 sets of friends there.

DH and I are hoping to go to Australia in the next couple of years to visit friends there. Neither have ever been especially high on my list but the fact people I care about are there makes them more desirable.