Am I being selfish only sending 4 year old to preschool for 2 days a week?

[Andjustlikethat27]

A couple of people have been very alarmed at the fact my 4 year old only goes to nursery for 2 full days.

Im a full time mum and work in the evenings at home, I adjusted my lifestyle when I had my son. He took a lot of getting after years of ivf so didn't want to miss these early years.

He doesn't like going to nursery but he's ok once he's there. We do a lot on the days he isn't there.

He starts school in sept this year. What's the general thought behind this? I've spoken to teachers and they all say he will be down doing. What he's doing. Am I in the wrong not sending him more?? Apart from anything id have to pay to send him more and money isn't that free flowing anymore.

Sounds perfectly fine to me. As long as it works for you, then I don't see why anyone thinks it's their business.

"I've spoken to teachers and they all say he will be down doing. What he's doing."

Should that be "fine doing what he's doing"? If so, I agree. By sending him to nursery some of the time you are getting him used to time away from you, socialising with other children and listening to adults in a teacher-type role. By sending him for some full days you are getting him used to a long day of activity, which is what he'll have at school. You don't need to reproduce exactly school hours to give him good school preparation. It is not wrong (or selfish) to have him at home with you while you can

Do what’s best for you. One of mine only ever attended 15hrs over 5 mornings and had no difficulty settling into school. We would also take them out of nursery for day trips regularly in final year because we knew it wouldn’t be an option once in school

They are now in school and thriving. No one else’s opinion matters, enjoy having them at home while you can if that is what you want

You've had reassurance from professionals; I'd pay no heed to what the likes of us randoms have to say on the subject.

It's fine. Both my children did one year of part time (2 full days and 1 half day) nursery school before starting reception, and both settled into school very easily and happily. No need for full time nursery if you don't want to do it.

Days are long at that age, he might be happier doing 4 half days if that's possible. Mine found half days much easier to cope with and more enjoyable then full days.

Really? People have been alarmed? This is completely normal and loads of people do exactly what you’re doing and it’s completely fine. I don’t really know why you would be seeking reassurance tbh, this is such a typical setup

Mine goes two half days. She loves it but she also loves being at home, having play dates, time with her grandma, play group.

She’ll be in school for 14 years, this is time we won’t get again.

Do what works for your family.

Yes please clarify the typo.

Op, I'm sure he will be more than fine!
Does he do arts and crafts at home eg tuning his fine motor skills, I'm sure you read to him, he plays outside, balancing, and all that!

I also assume he socialises when out etc so he's used to others.

" she'll be in school for 14 years"

Longer surely then work?

My son didn't go to nursery, and just did preschool the year before he started school.
He did two mornings a week. Settled into reception very easily with no issues or fuss and really enjoys school (much more than he enjoyed preschool).

* fine doing what he's doing

2 full days is still the equivalent of 4 mornings (most school nurseries only do morning or afternoon sessions for a full week). So he really isn't far off at all what many other children do. There are also plenty of other parents like yourself that are enjoying as much time as they can before school, it's precious time and you won't get it back. Enjoy OP.

Well thank you so much for the reassurance.

It's hard not to questions yourself and your choices when people make you feel like a complete alien.

Going 15 hours is what's funded so that's what most kids do whether it's over full days or half days. He'll be totally fine!

No I absolutely don't think you're being selfish. I was in exactly the same position as you with my daughter - it took a long time to get her too, and like you, I wanted to enjoy as much time as I could with her during her early years. I didn't intend to send her to nursery at all, but ended up sending her for two afternoons each week for a term and a half before she started Reception, just to get her used to routines. When she started school, my daughter settled in quickly and was happy from the first day. She was far more advanced than the other children in her class because of all the time we'd spent together and was reading fluently, knew some of her tables, and could write her name and a few words legibly. I really don't understand the obsession with sending children to nursery when you're in a position to be at home with them.

My almost 5yo went for 3 mornings and 1 full day last year. Originally it was 2.5 days but he was getting run down so we adjusted to find what suited him. He only went for the 15 hours funded and has settled into primary school absolutely fine.

I didn't finish that message. I loved not sending him full days every day. It meant we could make the most of that time we had left before he started school full time. It was lovely finding the balance and having slow afternoons or little adventures.

I think its really important for children to go to pre school before school. It really helps them develop socially and to learn some basic independence skills ready for school. It's nothing new to attend pre school before school. I did and I'm 40 next year!

2 full days is plenty, like many children my ds just did 3 hrs a day x 5 from 3 1/2 to school age and he settled into school fine. (I worked weekends)

One of his good friends didn't go to nursery or pre school of any kind and settled in absolutely fine too.

I think your situation is frankly pretty normal

I didn't send mine to preschool at all. Those young years are so precious.

We spent time having adventures/fun as much as possible, with a couple of sessions with a childminder each week.

Scotland here so every child is 30 hours school nursery from age three, except mine. Of those families at our school and the larger town schools I know.

I have done same, she averages two days depending on our week, lucky I can chop and change.

Head is supportive and has suggested a flexi school arrangement rather than deferring which I also considered for the ongoing relaxed approach. For example a Friday here is pe then lunch then home. So no point in her going.

Parents are more alarmed at me, that's fine. I just do what's best for mine and me to be fair, Then worry later.

People,will always judge. Here certain two year olds get the same hours, that's caused a huge chat because parents not working, children in full time. I don't care. They moan in full time, they moan not in full time, you be you.

Seems fine? Quite apart from anything else, 2 full days is about 15 hours and some DC are only ever entitled to 15 free in the preschool year. So there are bound to be a percentage who do 15 only.

Mine all did about 2 or 3 mornings a week at preschool, from age 2 (nothing before that). I wanted to spend the time with them, also lots of full days in preschool or childcare can be exhausting.
I work in an area of child psychology so was aware of the negatives of full time childcare/ preschool.
all good, all settled in to school fine, I never regretted it and I’m so grateful I had that time with them.

My daughter is a primary school teacher who works 4 days a week. She puts her 3 1/2 year old in to nursery 2 full days and 1 half day. The other days I have her one day, mummy has her one day, nana has her half day, works for us! If it's good enough for a teacher, it's good enough for you.