Friendships at 4, nearly 5

[seashoreone]

What are friendships like at 4 going on 5?
Am I overthinking my concerns over my DD not making a best friend at this stage?
She plays well with anyone and is chatty ...
Teacher described as very quiet in class...
I've made attempts to arrange play dates with other mums...drop off and pick up is so fleeting -
Feel like everyone is already in a cliche and arranging play dates..
I just don't want my DD to be left out.
She seems happy at preschool...but would love to have play dates after school for her.
She's our first so don't have any siblings to compare .. play with.

Am I overthinking this?

I've made attempts to arrange play dates with other mums
And what happens when you do try this? Couple of hours after school is good at this age I've found. Is there a class WhatsApp group? I've had another mum get my number from there and ask.if DD would like to come over which was great.

It's fine for her not to have a best friend at this age but it's also fine for you to make an effort to help her socially. Play dates are a good idea, also does she do any after school activities? These can be a good way of getting to know other children.

@DappledThings @HowManySunflowers thanks for your reply's.
There is no what's app group.
There is a Facebook page but it's for the whole preschool and is just notices.

I did give her a card with my number to give to someone she wanted to have a play date with.
Unfortunately it was a boy, whose mum messaged me after a week (probably didn't find it in his bag) and basically said he didn't want a play date (she's a girl etc)

Why is this so hard.

I don't think you are overthinking it, kids if this age do benefit from playdates and I think it is completely normal as the parent of an only child to want to see your child playing with other children.

I don't think you need to worry too much given she is chatty and plays with anyone.

Can you be brave and put a message in the FB group asking if anyone with a child of that age is interested in a playdate, or park meetup? There might be other parents in the same position.

I have an autistic child and have to work really hard at facilitating playdates etc. Based on my own experience, cliques/ established groups of mum friends can be a thing, so if you don't have any luck, don't feel bad/ take it personally. For example, I recently changed my daughter's ballet class from Weds to Thursday and was amazed at how a different group of parents totally changed the dynamic - some of the parents made a point to introduce themselves because I was new... at the other class the mums would not even make eye contact!

Does she feel left out, though? Perhaps she's happy and self-contained rather than shy. I understand where you're coming from as my DD at nearly 6 is similar, but she tells me she prefers to spend playtime imagining her dream museum or pretending to be a fox, rather than playing with other kids. It makes me feel anxious but she is happy.

By all means keep trying with play dates but please don't feel worried - not all kids are social butterflies at 5.

@TheWildOnesRunningWithTheDogs she has never said or mentioned being left out.
She's happy at drop off and pick up...comes out smiling and shouting "mummy!" Runs into my arms (I'll savour that forever as she won't be doing that when she's a teenager 😊)

@Blueypartymummy I know what you mean about a clique and you are right - not to take it personally. Some of the mums are mums of three and this is their third etc. so it's like been here all before .... tired and busy etc.

I'm actually thinking of joining some new sports clubs and doing some after school
Activities.