I know when it's all going wrong for ds12 because his texts are full sentences...

[Pascha]

Ds1(12) has left his geography presentation at home. It's due this afternoon. Note the absolute assertion that I (mum) have put it elsewhere (I haven't. It's in his school drawer with all the rest of his books.). Also note the complete lack of social niceties like please and thank you, even though I know he will be eternally grateful when I bring it and he will say thanks in person. He's a lovely boy really.

When he's relaxed I get 'ye', 'nah' and 'k' as responses which covers about 90%of everything he needs to tell me over messaging.

I agree it's human to forget things occasionally. But one thing they learn from detention is that it isn't the end of the world, they can handle the consequences. This sense of proportion is really valuable, it builds self esteem much more than never experiencing the consequence.

At our school they tell the kids they WILL make mistakes but that's ok, they just take the consequence and then we move on. The child is not defined by their blips. I think that's much healthier and a more mature perspective than them growing up in fear of detentions. Developing judgement and perspective is so important in the teen years.

That said with a 12yo I would probably take the folder if I could. My DD asks very rarely so I do help out when I can, but she knows she can handle it herself if need be.

I don’t agree. My kids have high self esteem, good judgement and perspective without ever doing a detention. I’d rather they spent their time doing something more valuable than sitting with mostly kids who are rude to teachers, persistently don’t do homework, have fights in the playground etc. They don’t fear detentions, they just don’t do anything that deserves them. Imagine if the teachers got punished for leaving a set of books at home once in 5 years. Those aren’t conditions for people to thrive in.

It's almost like different kids are different and respond differently to different parenting.

Mind. Blown.

Aww he's in a panic.
I get Mummy or Mumma from 18 year old when she's in a panic and has left things behind. I've dropped off her pencil case quite a few times. But year 13 is nearly done. Yay!

😂😂😂😂