Really really struggling with nostalgia.

[Stressedafff]

Just that really. I was born in 94 and recently, I’d say the past 6 months, anything from my childhood is upsetting me.

Even music from a time I wasn’t born (70’s/80’s) I’m finding really upsetting
I don’t know what’s causing it. I’m going through an EA relationship at the moment and I’ve lost 3 close family members this past 7 years so I’m mostly putting it down to that. But I miss the early 2000’s, I miss family parties in social clubs with 70’s music on, I miss how simple life was, everything is just so damn crap.

anyone else feel this too?

Yes, absolutely, although I'm nearly 20 years older than you! I think it's natural to feel nostalgic about good times, your youth when you were free of responsibility (if that was the case) etc.

The recent losing your virginity thread did it for me. Took me back to my uni days and all the fun we had, my early 20s in London etc. I started googling old boyfriends and flings. Happily they all look as old as me 😂

Life is difficult, mundane and frustrating at the moment (for me anyway) and I think nostalgia is a way of escaping that. But it needs keeping in check - it can stop you from enjoying the present.

Yes. I know exactly what you mean. I have my 2 lovely kids now so wouldn’t get in a time machine, but I get such a pang thinking about 1998-2006ish.

A lot of people are feeling like this.
i'm a lot older than you and was chatting to a 22 year old who feels like this. He brought it up, btw. It's because we are in a shit period with technology affecting most of us very badly, I think.

like the Dowager Countess saying "I hanker for a simpler world - is that a crime?"

as an individual - touch wood - things are very good for me atm. But there have been moments where the nostalgia almost hurts!

I get this every Christmas. I spend the month of December wanting to cry and it peaks on New Years Eve. A week into January and I'm fine again!

I think everyone feels like that from time to time.
I think back then pre-internet we were much more connected! Now we are all actually connected non stop with people from across the world etc yet we barely know our neighbours. Instead of popping over to a friends for a cup of tea it’s all WhatsApp messages. It’s like the more digital contact we have the less meaningful interactions we have. It makes me long for the days when people
went down the pub or even actually rung people
om the phone etc!

I was in secondary school in 1994. The 90s and 00s were the best ever years. Carefree, great music, optimistism etc. There were bad times too. We're still young though and yes everything feels gloomy right now. But things go in cycles and good time will be back again. I always speak to older people when I feel a bit down about things. They've been through these cycles of good/bad before. I seek comfort in their perspective that things will come good again

Nostalgia literally means ‘the pain of going home’. It’s homesickness but for the past. I find it awful at times too and I always remember that.

I'm a decade older than you and I really feel it too. I'd give anything to go back to 1990 and be 5 again and just live in the simpler time.

I guess everyone feels it for their past. I do know I definitely would not want to be a kid now with social media and all the choices available and all this tech.

Omg YES
I do too!!! I’ll literally be so down and depressed on NYE with it, then I’ll sit there thinking of all the 90’s xmas decorations etc and stuff I did. It’s absolutely horrific

I’m even getting nostalgic from say 2014-2017, it seems to be a pattern for me in the sense I’ve been in an abusive relationship since 2018 and the nostalgia is my way of coping

well things were better though! 1980 baby here and everything has been worse and decline since 2015 and we all know what happened then

Yes my grandmother always has wise words for me about how change is part of life. She knows I struggle with change.

'
Omg YES
I do too!!! I’ll literally be so down and depressed on NYE with it, then I’ll sit there thinking of all the 90’s xmas decorations etc and stuff I did. It’s absolutely horrific

I’m even getting nostalgic from say 2014-2017, it seems to be a pattern for me in the sense I’ve been in an abusive relationship since 2018 and the nostalgia is my way of coping'

I think a lot of it is about coping with change. I've had two babies and each time I've had the baby blues extremely severely and with it a nostalgia and sickening for when I was pregnant. I always say it was the dark night of my soul. I'm not sure if it's a chemical response to change or something. It sounds like you're probably considering ending your relationship given you're open to talk about it being abusive, maybe you are struggling with the thoughts of change too. Harking back to times when things were more stable. Change can be good though, really good. We have to be brave and embrace the new.

I get this too. The other day something reminded me of the Big Breakfast and I got immediate tears in my eyes thinking of watching it before school in the mornings with my siblings. Things just seemed so much simpler. I loved my teens, wish I could go back.

Can you escape the abusive relationship, Op? It's sad that nostalgia is your way of coping. 5 years in an abusive relationship is 5 years too long. Please leave it behind.

I feel exactly the same at the moment, and have experienced this fairly often throughout my life. Im a fair bit older than you but I long for the days of my youth. I found an old Hits 94 cd the other day and nearly cried listening to all the old tunes and my heart was aching to go back and live like that again. I personally believe a lot of problems have come in on the back of social media. Life was so much more manageable and enjoyable when we didn't live in an age of constant awareness.

I feel this all the time and so wish I could go back to the way life was in the 90s. I’ve found adult life quite a disappointment and I think it’s just wanting to go back to a time when I felt happy and content. Sometimes I can remember exactly how I felt at certain times and I can remember simple things like certain car journeys and I get quite upset about it.

north " I personally believe a lot of problems have come in on the back of social media. Life was so much more manageable and enjoyable when we didn't live in an age of constant awareness."

yes. I live in a state of blissful unawareness about many things but I love alone, so that's easy enough.

mum has friends in their 80s, I have contacts as young as 22, they've all experienced problems and personality changes, which relate to the horrible "know everything" culture.

OP, separately - the relationship is your real issue. I hope you find a way to get out.

Echoing other posts I really hope you get out of this relationship asap, I used to be in an abusive relationship too.
I was born in 91 and often feel the way you do, even though I'm still young in the grand scheme of things.
I miss getting dressed up, being out at parties or nightclubs most weekend, wearing short skirts, just having that early 20s glow.
I'm only 31 and fortunately I have a partner that I can spend time with, but the friends who I used to go out with are now married and/or have kids and for some reason now seem to think we have to 'act accordingly ' so meet ups involve a coffee in the afternoon once every 3 months if I'm lucky. It's depressing and I feel like I'm wasting my youth.

Like I get it's harder when you have kids for sure, but it shouldn't mean you can't ever have fun again.

Just to offer an alternative opinion to everyone else here - no I never get nostalgia really , when I do remember moments from the past it's normally with a feeling of thank god that part of my life is over , I much prefer being an adult, don't miss the clubbing days and when I remember other events like Xmas and big days out in my childhood they are less significant than the same days I have had as an adult with my own children or the ones we still have to plan - i suppose I am guilty sometimes of living too much in the future and what is to come whereas others live in the past - I don't think dwelling too much on either - past or future -does much good for your mental health.

I think for myself I just need to make new friends. My partner has friends ranging from 22 to 72 and they all have good social life. I find it sad that my friends at only 31/32 resign themselves to the odd cafe meetup once every couple of months, we really aren't that old. This happened even before their kids were born, I know people's preferences and tolerances change with age but I think 31 is a bit too young to be getting the slippers out.

When I was watching the Serpent on Netflix ( a crime series set in the Orient) it induced in me this deep nostalgia for the 70s. The cars, the sunglasses, the outfits, the furniture, everything just threw me back in those days. Slower pace of life, no internet, no wokeness.
And you could get away with crime more easily 😁

Ahh I loved the Serpent, amazing series!

me

Christmas evokes nostalgia the most for me. The glorious days we had in the early 70s with family members now dead. I ache for them x